When Bob told me I had passed, I couldn’t help but hug him, and he made a half-hearted attempt at reciprocating. When they took my photo, the lady behind the counter had to tell me to stop grinning like a maniac.
As soon as I left the registry, I drove straight to Rosie’s, honking the horn loudly out front. She came through the doors as I stepped out of Gabe’s car.
“Congratulations, honey!” Rosie cried, arms open. We hugged on the pavement.
“Thanks,” I beamed at her.
“Have you told Gabe the good news yet?”
“I’m going to surprise him when he gets off work later. We’re having dinner at my place tonight.”
“Come inside. I made you some lemon tarts.”
“Okay, I’ll just park Gabe’s car round the back.”
The diner was empty when I made my way in. I sat at the counter while Rosie busied herself, plating the lemon tarts and pouring freshly brewed coffee into a mug. She set them down in front of me with a smile.
“Thanks, Rosie.” I could hardly keep the grin off my face.
“If I had known, I would have baked you a cake.”
I took a sip of my coffee. “You know you don’t have to do that.”
She smiled. “So you’re having dinner with Gabe tonight?”
I nodded. “I’ve been watching those cooking shows that come on late at night, and a few days ago, I made my first dish.”
“What was it?”
“Spaghetti with meatballs,” I said, proudly.
“Sounds delish.”
“It’s not that difficult, if you get step-by-step instructions. It tasted pretty good.”
“And that’s what you’re cooking up tonight?”
“Uh-huh. I’m going to pick up some handmade egg pasta from the deli and a tub of Ben & Jerry’s, and I think I’ll splurge on a really good bottle of Pinot.”
“Sounds like you have a fun night planned.”
“It’s the least I can do for Gabe—he’s been so great. I mean, if I had never met him, I don’t think I would have done this. He’s been such a good friend.”
“Friend?” Rosie raised her eyebrows.
“Yes, Rosie,” I said wryly. “We’re just friends.”
“You don’t have any feelings for him?”
I frowned. “Not those kind of feelings. I’m not ready to dive into anything new. Not just yet.”
“Well, I can say, hand on heart, Gabe has feelings for you. I’ve seen the two of you together. The kid can hardly take his eyes off you.”
I knew Rosie wasn’t making it up. I sensed that Gabe had feelings for me, and I didn’t want to lead him on. Nor did I want to stop seeing him.
“I don’t know about that, Rosie.”
“You’re such a bad liar, Audrey.”
I picked Gabe up from his uncle’s later that afternoon. It was my first day as a mobile person, and I was loving every minute of it. I had no idea how restrictive my life had been prior to this independent, self-sufficient me.
Gabe was in blue overalls bent over the open hood of an electric-blue Chevy when I walked in. He looked up, caught my eye, and smiled. For the first time, I did feel something, a small flutter in my chest.
He gave me an expectant look. “So?”
“I got it!
He grinned. “Another one for the toolbox.”
I smiled. “I guess so.”
After Gabe finished up, I drove us back to my place, and he helped me out in the kitchen with the spaghetti and meatballs. The sauce was bubbling away in the pan when we decided to start on the Pinot. He was telling me a funny story about a customer who came in that day and was trying to barter his way out of paying the bill. Soon he had me in stitches.
“Look at you,” said Gabe.
“What about me?”
“When I first met you, you were like this fragile china doll. I just wanted to pick you up and put you in bubble wrap.”
I laughed. “You did?”
He nodded. “You just seemed kind of lost, unsure about yourself. Now it’s like you’re a different person.”
“How so?” I leaned my hip against the kitchen bench and took another sip of Pinot.
“You’re just . . . so alive now. You seem so strong and capable, like you’re ready to take on the world. You’re like the living version of a Karate Kid montage.”
I laughed.
“And your cheeks are glowing,” he continued. “It must be the mountain air.”
“I think it has a lot to do with you as well.” The words slipped out before I could stop them. I bit my lip and looked away.
“Do you mean that, Audrey?” Slowly, I turned my head back to meet his gaze.
I nodded. “I do.”
He took a step forward, his hand brushing my cheek. “I really like you,” he said.
I looked up at him. “I like you too.”
He leaned in and kissed me. His lips were soft and warm, and I suddenly realized how much I missed this kind of intimacy.
“I’ve wanted to do that for ages,” he said, when he broke away.
“Why didn’t you?”
“I wasn’t sure how you felt.”
We moved into each other and kissed again. I put my wine glass down and wrapped my arms around his neck, wanting desperately to lose myself in the moment. Then out of nowhere and without warning, I was hit by a wave of sadness.
I pulled away.
“Are you okay?” he asked, his eyes searching mine.
“No.” My voice was barely a whisper. “I don’t think so.”
“What’s wrong?”
“I don’t know, exactly,” I said, shaking my head again. The sadness that had begun in the pit of my stomach was spreading through my body and growing in intensity. “I just—” my voice caught on a sob, catching me completely off guard. Tears rolled down my cheeks one after another, like a sudden deluge of rain erupting from a perfectly blue sky.
“Audrey,” he said and took a step back as I wiped at my face with my hands.
“I’m sorry. I don’t know why I’m crying. It’s not you . . . you’ve been nothing but wonderful.” I gave him a helpless look.
He sighed. “Rosie mentioned there was someone back home—someone you were trying to forget. She said that was the reason you came all the way out here. Is that who you’re crying about?”
I looked at him. “I don’t know—maybe.”
“Look, I’m not here to rush you into anything. I like you, but I’m just as happy to be your friend. Okay?”
“Okay,” I whispered.
We were quiet for a few minutes. Then I reached over and took his hand. “Just because I’m not ready right now doesn’t mean I won’t ever be.”
“I know,” he said, giving my hand a squeeze. “This kind of stuff—you can’t set a time or date to it.”
“No, you can’t.”
“Especially when you lose someone who meant a lot to you.”
I drew in a deep breath. “I think it was the first time I was truly in love, if you know what I mean.”
“I do.” A sad look crossed his face. “A girl broke my heart a few years back, and I still think about it sometimes.”
“What happened?”
“Birdie’s an artist. She got a job offer in New York with an ad agency. We tried to do the long-distance thing for a while, but she met someone else.”
“I’m sorry.”