“Okay,” Knox said. “Let’s hear it out.”
“I take him to Chief Richards. I call and say I’ve got something on drugs. Chief will always take my call. He’s fucking rock hard twenty-four-seven trying to get me for good. When I show up with Tommy, Chief will shit himself. I make it known I know what he did to me with Tommy. Then Tommy starts ratting on everyone in his group. Chief has no choice but to follow through on it or else Tommy will tell the truth. Shit, I’ll bring in my lawyer if I have to on it. Chief will have no leverage on us then. And we’re giving him a gift in a way, you know? He can then take his witness and do what he wants. But I make it known the Reap is on to him. It’ll clear the air for all of us without violence. Without getting into trouble.”
I took a drink of piss warm beer and pushed the glass away. I rubbed my chin as the rest of the table looked at each other.
“I like it,” Matteo said.
“I second that,” Liam said.
“Smart,” Ari said. “It’ll send a shockwave through the department. You know Chief has a group of guys that know what he did.”
“So now we’re getting all fucking strategic,” Uncle Jakey said.
“It’s the only way to survive,” Knox said. “Keeps us out of prison. Keeps the club legit. Slam’s got something here, Uncle Jakey. We need to vote.”
Uncle Jakey waved a hand. “Fuck it. There ain’t no vote. Slam, get it set up. Make it happen.” He leaned forward and pointed a finger at me. “But if this goes south, your ass is back in prison.”
“I’ll take that,” I said.
“Good. This better put that fucking prick of a chief in our pockets. We need it.”
“Even if he’s not in our pocket,” I said, “he’ll understand not to fuck with us anymore.”
“Make it happen,” Uncle Jakey said. “Now, Matteo, Liam, Elijah, I need you three down in Portsriver for some action on fights.”
Uncle Jakey spouted off some more orders and gave Matteo twenty large to bet on some fights.
Chapel came to an end and I stayed for a little bit of a longer prayer session.
So did Knox.
He sat next to me. “She’s gotten to you.”
“Fuck off,” I said.
Knox put a hand to my wrist. “There’s nothing wrong with it. When you find the right pussy, get it. Get it for life, brother.” Knox then looked at me. “Just make sure you don’t fuck all this up because of her. I’ve never seen you not take a violent response.”
I looked at Knox. “I’m supposed to stay out of trouble and that’s exactly what I’m doing here. End of discussion. This is going to make life easier for the Reap. That’s my worry. Shit with Belle doesn’t matter. I haven’t lost my way.”
Bullshit, Slam. You’re so far off the fucking path, even a compass couldn’t come close to helping you.
I stood up and had to get away from Knox.
“Bro?” Knox called out when I got to the door.
I looked at him. “What?”
“It’s a great fucking plan,” he said. “I like this side of you.”
“Yeah? I don’t.”
That was the truth. I was better off slamming people’s fucking heads into walls and windows. I was better off fucking anything with a wet slit and night to kill. I was better off picking fights, getting arrested, and living beyond the edge of being an outlaw.
The last thing I needed was to feel domesticated. Or that I gave a shit about anyone.
But that’s exactly what was happening to me.
Fucking Belle.
twenty-six
(belle)
NOW
It had been hours since he left. I waited in bed for two hours. I even took a post-orgasm nap. Those were the fucking best, right? Except mine came crashing to an end when I had a dream about my mother. I saw her walking down the sidewalk. I charged after her, calling for her. I got close enough to touch her arm. When I did, she was ice cold. But I didn’t care. It was my mother! I pulled at her arm and she turned around. All I wanted to do was hug her. Tell her I loved her. Bring her back with me from my dream.
That’s when it became a nightmare.
My mother turned and there was a gunshot hole in her forehead.
She opened her mouth… and I woke up.
That’s when I started to cry.
Bringing that entire thing back to life in my mind and telling Slam was hard. I had taught myself a long time ago to push the story away. To never think about it because there was no resolution. Nothing would bring her back and nothing would justify what had happened. The truth was that I expected my father to get hurt. He was the cop, not my mother. He was the one who should have been shot at and attacked. Not my damn mother.
I got dressed and tried to watch TV.
I drank a cup of coffee.
I stood outside on the balcony off my apartment.
There was nothing I could do to ease how I felt.
That’s when I found the bottle of vodka.