“Uh-huh.”
“And if we really can’t get enough of each other”—he was warming to his subject now—“we just booty call. Sound like fun?”
“Is that what this is?” I smiled. “A booty call?”
“Well, I…” he stammered as I stretched my foot out and rubbed my toes against the fly of his slacks. “I guess…”
I deftly hooked his zipper between my toes and pulled it down, then slipped my foot inside his pants. Yup, he was already hard. I removed my foot and leaned across to him, pulling him up by the hand. I turned around, one knee on the couch, one foot on the floor, and presented my ass to him. I took his hand again and touched it to my pussy.
“Feel how wet I am, baby,” I breathed as his fingers slid into my slippery hole. “I’m so ready for you…Just put it in.”
He needed little more encouragement. I heard his pants drop to the floor as he pushed up my robe. I felt his smooth tip against the slick entrance to my pussy a second before he drove himself hard into me. I wasn’t quite as ready as I let on, and his thrust knocked the wind out of me. But as I recovered, he pushed himself back in, and I wondered why he was only fucking me with half of his cock.
“That’s it, baby.” I tried whispering some encouragement. “Give it to me good and hard.”
He started pumping, his hips slamming against my butt, but I didn’t feel the same satisfaction. I didn’t feel full or stretched the way James made me feel. I couldn’t feel him throbbing, couldn’t feel every thick vein and ridge of him. It was so disappointing. Derek wasn’t small—far from it—he just didn’t feel that hard. He jammed himself in and out of me, and I let out some soft moans to keep him excited, but I was still waiting, hoping he’d grow some more as he got closer.
As these thoughts ran through my mind, though, he swore, thrust harder, and I could feel him shooting his cum inside me. No way! The stupid, useless motherfucker! I couldn’t move. I heard him sit back, panting and doing up his belt, muttering about how good that felt, but I could feel tears welling up in my eyes. I felt one roll down my cheek and drip off my chin as the first drop of his semen fell from my pussy onto the couch.
“Would you get me some napkins or a toilet roll, please?” I managed to say to him with an even voice. He jumped up and sprinted to find it, and I sat down. I started sobbing. What was I thinking? Did I hate myself? Why was I fucking Derek when I just wanted to be with James?
Derek returned and immediately knelt beside me. “What’s the matter?” he asked, his voice riddled with guilt. “Did I hurt you?”
My weeping suddenly became a snort of laughter. Bless him. “No, I’m sorry.” I smiled weakly. “It wasn’t you.” I tried to figure out how to tell him I just fucked him wishing he was someone else without hurting his feelings. I gave up. “I just think I’m not going to be fair to you. I’ve treated you like shit the past couple of weeks and you’ve been so good to me. I think I need a few days to see if I’m going to be able to stop being mean to you.”
“Take all the time you need,” he said. “I’ll be waiting.”
A few more pleasantries and reassurances from me and he left, ego intact and head held high. I couldn’t be mad at him. I’d tried to use him, and it had backfired on me. I felt like this meant I had to find James and at least see if we might work out. If he’d have me.
I’d catch him in the morning, I decided. I really didn’t know if I was in love with him, but I had this feeling inside me and couldn’t just let him go without seeing him one more time.
I went to bed looking forward to tomorrow and seeing him again, only I couldn’t sleep. My heart raced as I played out the scenario over and over in my head. Was this what being in love felt like? Couldn’t wait to see him? Check. Constantly fantasized about him touching me? Check. Totally not attracted to anyone else? Check, check, check. It was weird. I’d spent my whole adult life avoiding relationships so they couldn’t hurt me and ended up falling for someone anyway. And if I fell for someone I was trying to fuck anonymously in the pursuit of never committing to anyone? Well, that was a twist.
***
I got up the next day and got ready. I was supposed to meet with Donald and Dunlop again in the afternoon, so I put on my best navy blue business suit, silk blouse, and blue three-inch pumps, jumped in my Mustang, and headed to the Four Seasons as fast as I could. I called the hotel as I was driving to make sure James hadn’t checked out yet. He hadn’t, but it still took me far too long to get there.