“Why the hell does Rick matter?”
Closing her eyes, she fought back the tears. She didn’t like thinking of Rick; she didn’t like the power he held over her. But the memory of herself crouched in a corner, him above her with a belt, screaming at her, was something she still couldn’t shake. She was gone with her baby as soon as she regained consciousness, her sperm-donor father drawing up divorce papers. But she knew what he was capable of. And that scared her. “He always said that if I ever tried to be with anyone, he’d ruin my life. That he didn’t want any man around his daughter.”
“Oh, Lucy, please don’t tell me that’s what’s keeping you from being with someone?”
Lucy laughed a soulless laugh. “I’m not scared of him; I’m scared of what he could do. He can’t touch me, and he won’t—I know he won’t—but he could hurt Angie trying to get to me, and I can’t have that.”
“So you are.”
Lucy snapped her mouth shut and then shook her head. “For an eighteen-year-old, you’re kinda smart, you know that?”
Avery laughed. “Hey, I’m nineteen! And yeah, I am. But I need you to let that go. You will protect Angie, and you know we all will too. But Luce, you need to be happy.”
“Eh, it will come,” she said simply, letting out a long breath. “Plus, I don’t see men lining up at the door wanting to be with me.”
“True, but there is one man,” Avery added and Lucy glared. “Maybe give him a chance?”
Closing her eyes, she decided she wouldn’t be calling Avery much anymore. The girl was too smart for her own good.
“I pissed you off?”
Lucy grinned, leaning on her desk. “I don’t like when people point out what I’m trying to ignore.”
“Oh. Well, then maybe we shouldn’t talk?”
That had them both laughing. “I love you, Aves.”
“Love you too. Now, call your mom. She needs you to go pick out wedding dresses with her.”
“What? Are you serious?”
Avery giggled. “Yup. Have fun!”
Fucking hell.
“My name is Benji Paxton and I’m an alcoholic.”
“Hello, Benji.”
Benji looked around at the group of people who had gathered for his weekly AA meeting. Jordie sat to his left, a grin on his face while Benji sat there awkwardly, his hands dangling at his sides. Tucking them into his pockets, he cleared his throat as the group leader, Bethany, smiled happily at him.
“How are you feeling, Benji?”
“I feel good. Even after over eleven years of being sober, I’m still good.”
The group clapped and Benji’s lips quirked a bit. He had been coming to this group for the last two years. Jordie had joined it last year, and it was nice to share this with someone he trusted. When they were on the road, they always found a group and would go together. It was great, it really was. It was new to have a friend who could help support him as he did the same for that friend.
Bethany smiled. “Good. Do you have anything you want to share?”
Drawing in a long breath, he blew it out slowly.
“I was turned down last night,” he said, and once he said it, he wasn’t sure why he was sharing this. But then, he knew why. This group was his family. All of them had been over a year sober. Jordie was the youngest in the sober game, and people had come in and out, but the nine people who looked at him knew his deepest, darkest secrets. And he knew theirs.
Like how Phil was fighting day-by-day against his addiction. It had been really bad lately because his wife left him for another man. Joanna watched her mother blow her face off and still hadn’t recovered. She said she had given up the powder, but Benji sometimes thought she was lying. Gabe was the oldest out of all of them, twenty-seven years sober, and he was so close to God, Benji was sure there was a seat right next to the big guy for him.
These were his people, and as they looked at him with worry in their eyes, he knew why he’d said something. “I’ve been helping coach hockey for a group of girls the last couple days, and they are great. I love it. I didn’t realize how much I needed to do something like that until I was out there.”
“Doesn’t that hurt, though? Doesn’t it remind you of Leary?” Ruby asked. She had come to the group a few months before Jordie. She didn’t share much, but she sure as hell listened. She had hit on him a few times, but he had to worry about his own sobriety; he didn’t think he could worry about someone else’s too.
“Yeah, it does. But in a way, it’s therapeutic ’cause I feel like this is what I would have been doing now—with my own daughter.”
“Good,” Bethany said with a smile. “You need to get out Benji. Socialize.”
He nodded. “I know, and I am. I went out to dinner with friends the other night, and well, I even asked a girl out.”
“Oh, Benji, that’s wonderful. Does she know the Lord?” Gabe asked and Benji smiled.
“I don’t know yet. She turned me down.” They all gasped, well, except Jordie, and Benji shrugged.