“Fucking Christ, Noelle. I didn’t need to know that. Do you know how hard it is to know that I was your first kiss, that my lips are the only ones that have touched these beautiful things?” Royal placed the tips of his rough fingers on my lips like he needed to touch them just to make sure I understood what he was saying.
“Fuck I can’t believe that you’re pure and completely untouched or untaken by any man. Do you know what that does to me, Noelle? I want you so bad… Can you feel this?” Royal said, pushing his hips into my center making certain that I could feel the large bulge in his pants pressing firmly against me. I couldn’t think as he began peppering sweet kisses against my throat, right over my jumping pulse while grinding himself into me. Each slip against my center a deliberate movement. He knew what he was doing, and damn did he know how to do it.
“Ahhh, yes I can,” I moaned out loud without thought. We needed to stop. We had to stop. If we didn’t I feared I might let him go further than I was ready for.
“How is it even possible that someone as incredible as you has never been kissed, touched, or devoured?” His voice rasped in my ear.
“In case you haven’t noticed, I don’t really hang out with anyone other than Jordan and she isn’t really my type.” My response sounded more like a giggle since the fine stubble on his chin was tickling me.
“I want you, Noelle, but I can’t have you. It’s going to kill me knowing all of these things about you and not being able to change any of them.” It was as if he was pleading with me to tell him he could have me, to tell him that he was worthy of love.
“You’re worthy enough, Royal, you’re so worthy and you’re a good person, I know you are. You are so much more than you believe you are; so much more than what other people think,” I said, almost begging for him to believe the words I spoke, all while wanting his touch so badly it’s almost killing me.
“No, Noelle.” Sadness laced his words. “You see, that’s where you’re wrong. I’m not. You’re worthy of so much more than someone like me. You’re going to go so far in life, and you don’t need someone like me dragging you down. You don’t need the violent person that I am and will be for the rest of my life. I know what you need, and it’s not me. It will never be me.” The sentence nailed me straight in the heart. I was dead.
I felt the air leave my lungs in a rush, and a searing pain ripped through my chest from the words he spoke. But what hurt the most was when he let go of me and slowly started to back away. As if he was afraid that if he didn’t he never would.
It felt like everything in my life changed the minute he ran after me. He turned my entire world upside down and now he was walking away from me, leaving me in a crumpled pile on the cold, dirty ground to pick up the pieces of my splintered heart.
“Royal, wait,” I yelled, but it was useless. He was already too far gone, and it wouldn’t have mattered if he heard me anyway. He wouldn’t have turned around.
All I could do now was sit and stare as I watched him walk back toward the house, back toward Sasha, and away from me. I was left there to wonder if what he said was true, or whether he just played me and my feelings.
Did he actually have feelings for me, or was he just going to walk right back into that bitch’s house and warm her bed for the night?
Chapter Thirteen
-Royal
It was days before I spoke to or even saw Noelle again. I didn’t know how to feel about what happened between the two of us out by her Jeep that night. All I knew was that I couldn’t get her out of my head no matter how hard I tried. No matter how many times I masturbated to the image of her perfect naked body lying on a bed waiting and willing for me to fill her up and completely devour every inch of her creamy white skin. Or pictured her first kiss with me, my body covering hers, my mouth owning hers, over and over again in my mind. I just couldn’t get enough.
She was etched into the deepest, darkest parts of my brain, and there was no fucking way to remove her. What surprised me the most is that it wasn’t just the sexual things that I missed, it was her in general. Talking to her, looking at her, teasing her, shit even fighting with her. I wanted it all with her.
“How are things going at your dad’s house sweetheart?” my mother asked. I noticed that she seemed more cheerful, more upbeat than usual. Then again she didn’t have me around the house breaking shit or causing problems.
“They’re going, I guess.” I lied. Not much actually changed since I got here. I was still fighting, still fucking with girls, and still making a point to disobey every single thing that my father told me not to do.