“Shhh. I said think about it. I’m not thinking anything.”
We fell asleep at the foot of the bed, her on my chest moving her finger around my skin in little circles and me running my hands through her hair.
Later that night, she woke me up my favorite way, nudging her ass into me until I was getting another condom and sliding into her on our sides. It was before the sun came up, and we took this round slow. I kissed her neck and used my hand to touch the front of her as she pushed back against my deep thrusts.
Before long we were coming again, and then we settled back into the sheets and off to sleep I went.
When I woke up again, she wasn’t there.
I couldn’t fall back asleep. My mind was too busy.
After Vaughn’s breathing leveled off and he was sleeping, I got out of bed and found some of his clothes I could wear, a pair of mesh shorts and a T-shirt. Then, when I reached the kitchen, I put on his flip-flops and went straight out the door and walked home.
If the shoes would have fit better, I’m sure I would have ran.
When I got to my house, I forfeited the rest of the night and decided to take a shower instead. I thought about working on some fishing things, but then changed my mind, and after filling up my coffee mug, I headed to the shop.
I would tackle Monday’s paperwork a day early.
It wasn’t so much that Vaughn’s invite scared me. It was just such a huge change.
I’d never lived anywhere but home. I’d never not lived with my damn dad. Could I go straight from his house to Vaughn’s without ever even living on my own? Could I be another woman who left him alone?
Sure, I had the cabin, and I knew how to live on my own, but that was so different.
My mind raced on for hours.
By the time the sun was heating up the shop and the sound of cars driving past on their way to church alerted me to the fact that I’d been there for hours, the invoicing was ready for the post office, and the following week’s appointments were sorted for their reminders.
My stomach rumbled and I decided I’d look in the break room for a snack. I opened the garage doors, letting the sunshine in so I could see across the shop. I was heading into the small kitchen area when I heard tires pull into the lot.
I expected it to be Vaughn, so I was shocked when it was Dean instead.
“What are you doing up this early on a Sunday?” I asked as he hopped out of his Cherokee.
“Getting breakfast. Want a doughnut?”
I knew there was little chance of anything better than a granola bar or a speckled, half-brown banana in the break area, so I quickly accepted.
“Yes, please.”
He reached across the seat, pulled out a box, and walked inside.
“Question is, why are you up this early? Didn’t you and Vaughn have a big night on the town?”
He kicked out one of the braces on the truck lift and raised it to the perfect sitting height, something we did all the time.
“We did.”
“And you’re here?” He looked at his watch. “At eight thirty on a Sunday? What’s up with that?”
It was weird talking about it with him, but he was there and he had doughnuts. Plus, I’d already sat down and started eating one. I was kind of obligated to give him something. Besides, I really needed to talk about it with someone. I’d just expected that someone would be Sunny. Not Dean.
“Do you really want to talk about this?” I asked, giving him my no-bullshit look.
“Yes. I do.” He answered then cracked his knuckles, taking a deep exaggerated breath before going on. “Look, I don’t know if you know this, but I’ve always kind of had a thing for you.”
I looked at the glazed doughnut and shook my head. Chewing and not knowing what to say to that. We’d always been close, and there were a few times I sensed he’d wanted more, but he’d never come out and said it.
Then he continued, “But I also think you’re happy. Vaughn’s not a bad guy. He seems to treat you right. So I guess I’m just a fool who missed his chance.”
I looked at him and now he was the one studying his doughnut.
I still didn’t speak.
“I guess what I’m trying to say is … yeah, at first I didn’t like it. Now, I just have to chalk it up and get used to it. I think he’s good for you.”
That was why I loved Dean. To me, he still felt like my family, and what he was saying didn’t sound romantic, it sounded brotherly.
“Dean, he is good to me. He treats me like … like … like I want to be treated. He doesn’t give me too much shit, and he takes just enough of mine. You know? He’s different.”
“I know.”
Finally, we made eye contact and he repeated, “I know. So then tell me why you’re here. I’m not stupid; something happened.”
“I told him I love him.” I popped another bite in my mouth and chewed.
He took another deep breath. I considered maybe I screwed up and should have talked to Sunny instead, but he’d asked for it.