Me and … Allison? Megan? Rebecca?
I said a silent prayer that I’d get it. That some omniscient power would show mercy and it would just suddenly come to me.
The sooner the better.
Then, finally, it was time to go pick her up.
I took off work at noon. I couldn’t focus, and the time was moving about as fast as Highway 106 during harvest. Slow and aggravating.
I’d called Sunny that morning, needing something to wear. Sure, we were just hanging out at his house and then going for a drive, but I didn’t feel like wearing my raggedy old jeans and faded shirts. I wanted to look like a woman who might almost pass for someone Vaughn could be interested in.
He was college educated—and so was I, but an online business degree wasn’t quite the same.
He was a doctor. Best I could describe it, I was the bookkeeper for my grease monkey dad.
I didn’t have many shoes that didn’t have laces. Why in the hell didn’t I own a pair of slip on shoes? Well, I did, but flip-flops weren’t sexy.
I wanted to be sexy, and for him to know I was trying. You know an E for effort?
Mostly, I wanted to know if I was good enough for him. If I’d ever be.
There was something about the way he pushed me out of my comfort zone, yet at the same time made me feel safe and comfortable enough to not push back. No one I’d ever met fostered that type of reaction from me. No one had ever acted like they could see that, maybe deep down, there was more to me than just Mutt. And, if that was true, I wanted to let him find out because then I’d know, too.
I considered texting him my name so he’d kiss me first off that night because then I could chill the fuck out. I’d been a walking ball of electricity all day. Everything I touched seemed to zap me, and I knew the only thing that would give any relief to my nervous system was him.
I needed to kiss him. I wanted to yesterday, but today … it was crucial to my sanity.
“I can’t believe you guys are hanging out. This is huge, Mutt!” shrieked Sunny when I showed up at her house, which sat right behind the radio station.
I’d called her that morning to see if she’d be home since I needed to raid her closet and beg her to help me look like—well, a better version of myself.
I wasn’t ugly. I was okay.
My body wasn’t anything to pin up in a calendar, but I looked healthy. So what if there were a few extra pounds around my hips? As far as I knew there wasn’t a whole lot you could do about that. My stomach was flat and I had boobs. More than I’d ever ask for on most days, but they stayed where I put them, so I wasn’t complaining.
Although she was a little shorter than I was, Sunny and I were luckily about the same size.
“I know. I’m freaking out,” I said in earnest. “He’s so hot.” This was a situation that was completely new. I’d never chased a man before, and even if I wasn’t exactly chasing him, I was trying to catch him. And that was another reason I needed her help.
“I saw him driving the other day, but that’s about it. So what’s he like?” she asked as we walked through her small house into her bedroom, Andy Two hot on our heels.
I plopped down on her unmade bed and covered my face with my hands.
“I don’t know. He’s weird and smart and funny.” Then I moved one of my hands to make eye contact with her, hoping it would help explain better. Then I added, “And he’s sexy as a motherfucker. He told me he wants to kiss me, but he won’t until he knows my first name.”
She threw up her hands and scrunched her eyebrow. “So, Mutt, tell him your fuckin’ name.”
“I know, but now it’s kind of this flirting thing we have going on where he guesses … and his face … and, oh my God, what am I doing?”
She straight up laughed at me. The kind that howled and cackled. The kind where she bent over, and with both hands, she did a drum solo on my ass.
“Mutt likes a guy!” she sang. “This is awesome. Okay, so what’s your plan?”
“What’s my plan? I don’t have a plan. I need something to wear, and I could use some tips on how to hide that I’m a freak for not knowing how to act on a date.”
“Well, you guys have hung out, you said, so just keep acting like yourself. Plus, he’s still guessing your name, so there’s that. Obviously he likes you, too. Although, I have no idea why.” She winked and then opened the doors to her closet.
I had no idea why either. That was another thing that was making me crazy.
“What are you guys doing again?”
“He’s picking me up at six and making me dinner at his house. Then he asked if I could show him around Wynne, like a little road trip around the outside of town.”
“Okay, I think you should wear a dress.” Her eyes lit up.
What in the description of our plans made her think dress?
“No.”
“Why not?”
“Because we’re just riding around.”
“Smart. Don’t give it all away on the first date. Keep some mystery.” She tapped her finger against her lips in thought.