I made sure to never get with anyone in town because I knew it would spread like wildfire, and I didn’t want my dad hearing about it over coffee with the town’s men.
I didn’t sleep around a lot, but every now and again over the years, I found myself over or under one in a bed. Usually, the bed in this cabin.
I nervously tucked my head; the feeling of his appraisal was unlike other men giving me attention.
“Thanks,” I think I mumbled.
He took a few steps closer to me, and my body was screaming get out of here and jump him at the same time.
Not knowing what to do with myself, I just froze—which was totally not like me.
I’m Mutt, for fuck’s sake.
He stepped up to me and I could smell his cologne, or deodorant—hell, I wasn’t sure—but whatever it was, it added volume to my lungs and I wished I could inhale it forever.
“The other night,” he began softly, and then he tenderly took ahold of the hand I had by my side, “I had a lot of fun.”
“I did, too.” I couldn’t help myself from staring right into his eyes. They looked back and forth in mine, like he was testing the waters.
“The water is fine. Come on in,” I heard some wanton whore say in the back of my head.
“The ice cream was good,” I added.
“Yeah, it was, but more than that I’d like to get to know you more. Spend time with you. And not just because you helped me with my house, and have been so nice, but because I’m attracted to you.”
And there went my stomach.
Who says things like that? Do men really say that kind of thing outside of Wynne? Because how do women walk around with clean underwear knowing there are real live men wandering around out there talking like that?
A rush of air left my chest and it collapsed like it was going to cave in.
“You are?”
I couldn’t misunderstand that, right? Attracted to you means the same thing everywhere, right?
“I am. Since the moment we met, I’ve wanted to talk to you. Know about you. There’s something about you that stays with me when you’re not around. I think about you a lot.”
His thumb was circling mine and it was nice, comforting. I was nervous as hell, and, in this small way, he was soothing me.
“I think I like you a little, too,” I admitted.
His eyebrow teased me, rising on the end. “A little?”
“I said, I think.”
Why was I so embarrassed? We were adults. He was attracted to me, by the grace of God himself. And I was attracted to him, a lot. We weren’t the first humans to encounter such a thing, but, for the life of me, I didn’t know what the hell to do about it. I didn’t want to make a wrong move and have him realize he’d just been lonely or sad or on the mend.
“Well, it’s a good start. I hope you’ll be a little more certain after tonight. How about I start a fire? I saw you have a pit. That’s actually something I’m pretty good at. Then we’ll see if there’s anything I can do to help you officially like me.”
If he only knew that he’d already done it. I just needed to figure out if I was purely attracted to him, or if this was something else.
I have no clue where any of that came from, but I didn’t regret saying it. It was all true. I am attracted to her and I’m so damn curious about her.
When she came out of the bathroom, I could tell she’d fussed with her hair. Her lips were shiny. Then when I got closer I smelled something sweet that hadn’t been around her before. I knew it was all right to tell her, in plain words, no pretenses, no expectations, what I was thinking.
That was one of the things about her that was growing on me. She was easy to talk to, easy to be honest with, because she was. She was authentically her and I was drawn to it.
What came with that honesty was this fleeting flash of vulnerability she had around me. I’d seen her with other people, but with me she was quite different. A little more calm. A little softer. A little less on guard. A little less protected.
If she was willing to do that for me, then so could I.
O’Fallon had wood piled in neat rows under the cabin, only a few steps away from a really great fire pit. I wondered if she chopped all the wood herself. I didn’t think I knew a single woman who did stuff like that. The fire pit looked a little worn, but I wondered if she built that too.
She was so capable. And something about that challenged me. Made me think about what I could do to impress her. What I could do for her that she couldn’t do for herself. What she would need me for.
I knew one thing—I was going to do my best to find out what that might be tonight.
I built a fire, remembering I’d seen a lighter in the console of the Astro. When she came down, a few minutes after the flames really took off, she pulled her chair over to the fire and then found another in the back of her truck. She set them close to each other near the flames and placed the cooler in between them.
There wasn’t a single aspect to the situation that I was familiar with. All of it was new to me. The cabin. The river. It was a Tuesday. I was with a fascinating woman.