“Hey.” Noah stepped out of the bedroom. “Just let me pull on my boots.”
She watched him do exactly that. He’d changed into a fresh pair of black jeans that were just as disreputable as the ones he’d been wearing earlier and a plain black T-shirt. As far as she could see, he’d just run his hands through his hair after rubbing it dry with a towel and left it at that. And he was flat-out gorgeous.
Noah put his arm around Kit’s shoulders after they left the bus. She didn’t resist, sliding her own arm around his waist and acting the smitten girlfriend, but he was conscious of her tension. No one else would be able to tell, but he could sense it through his skin, feel it in his gut. He’d hurt Kit because he couldn’t handle his own reaction to her, and he didn’t know how to fix that.
How could he tell her about his fucked-up psyche without betraying everything?
He couldn’t.
All he could do was try to be the best friend he could be in his own messed-up way. Putting his lips to her ear, he said, “I’m sorry,” then took a breath and slit open a vein. “I’m so damn happy you’re here, with me.”
Fuck, it was hard to just lay himself out there. “I like having you in my space, near me.” Loved the smell of her soft skin and hair, the way she felt against him, her smile. “I don’t want to push you away, but there’s stuff inside me that”—another harsh breath—“that just screws me up sometimes.”
Her hand clenched on his T-shirt. He wondered if she remembered she’d given him this tee. It was plain, but it had a tiny guitar stitched at the bottom on the right. The guitar was in black, hardly visible, but he’d always liked that tiny, secret detail.
She didn’t say anything in answer, but her hand opened and she kind of… petted his side. It was just a small motion, but it spoke louder than any words she could’ve said. Unable to fight the need, he took advantage of the situation to cuddle her closer.
If it could always be this way, if he never had to think about sex, if he could fix his brain so it didn’t hunger for the same thing that destroyed him, he’d beg her forgiveness on his hands and knees and find a way to put a ring on her finger that would never ever come off.
Only that was such an impossible dream that he might as well wish for wings.
“You hungry?” he asked as they reached the marquee set up to one side of the “behind-the-scenes” part of the festival grounds. The scent of hot cheese and all the other good stuff that equaled pizza made his stomach rumble.
“I actually am—I danced the entire concert.”
Seeing Thea tug David into a kiss not far from the marquee, Noah wolf-whistled. David grinned and didn’t stop the kiss, one hand cupping the back of Thea’s head, the other on her ass. She wasn’t in one of her professional outfits but in a tiny sparkling dress that left her long legs bare from high up on her thighs, her straight black hair out of its usual twist.
No question that Thea was hot, but all Noah saw when he looked at her was a highly competent publicist who could chew up and spit out most of the paparazzi before she had her first cup of coffee in the morning.
“I’m happy for them,” Kit whispered as they neared the marquee. “They fit.”
“Yeah, they do.” Noah nodded at Abe as the keyboard player appeared from the other side of the tent. “There was a good chance David would’ve ended up a sad, lonely old man if she hadn’t taken pity on him.”
Close enough to hear, Abe snorted. “I need a hella sexy woman to take that kind of pity on me,” he muttered. “I think David’s the one laughing now.”
“I don’t know who’s more smitten, David or Thea.”
Noah heard a tone in Kit’s voice that he’d never expected—mingled want and envy. The latter wasn’t sharp, hard. It was soft, poignant, and it made him want to give her things, make her happy. “You know he sent her a pink teddy bear when we were on tour?”