Expecting her to disappear? How could she blame him? Her plan all along had been to disappear. Still was. Only now, she would ask him to find her worthy enough to follow. If he didn’t, the loneliness would be vastly harder than before because she knew what it felt like, being with him.
“Ladybug.” Sera jumped when she realized Bowen was leaning across the counter, face inches from hers. “I can get on board with your no-thinking rule, but you have to cooperate.”
She
picked
up
the
sandwich.
“Cooperating.”
Bowen tucked into his own sandwich.
“So I guess your waitressing career is over,” he said between bites. “Good thing you have those law enforcement skills to fall back on.” One end of his mouth ticked up, but his eyes were serious. His not-so-subtle way of asking if she intended to remain on the force?
“Something tells me you won’t get a good reference from Rush.”
“Are you saying I’m not a good waitress?” she evaded.
“No. I’m saying you’re a terrible one.”
Determined to keep the mood light, she threw a balled-up napkin at him.
“It’s harder than it looks. I’ve had patients come into the ER less concerned about a broken leg than some customers in Rush are about their chicken wings.”
“Wings are no joke.”
“Hmm.” She downed the last of her sandwich, feeling even more relaxed now that she had something in her stomach. “Anyway, you were my most belligerent customer and you didn’t even order anything to eat.”
“I wanted to. I wanted to watch you bring me dinner. Still do.” He scrubbed a hand over his hair. “Jesus, that didn’t sound so fucking crazy in my head.”
“I’ll make you dinner someday,” she rushed to say, wanting to erase the sudden insecurity in his face. “I owe you for the egg sandwich.”
“You never owe me for anything.
Never.” He took her plate and set it in the sink, along with his own. When he turned back to face her, he looked thoughtful. “Actually, there’s one thing you can do for me. Come on.”
She had no time to prepare before he dragged her toward his bedroom.
“Subtlety isn’t really your thing, you know that?” Not that she minded in the slightest. Already, goose bumps were forming on every inch of her skin, heavy heat trickling into her lower belly.
Would she ever get used to him, the way he controlled the reactions of her body?
He stopped at his bedroom door and turned to her with a chastising look. “Get your head out of the gutter, baby. You Catholic girls and your filthy minds.”
Her mouth dropped open, then snapped shut as he pulled her inside and flipped on the light. His murals were…
gone. All of them. His walls had been painted a startling white, the evidence of his work strewn across the floor in the form of paint cans and spattered drop cloths. It looked like a tornado had whipped through the room and ripped all the color from the walls. No, not all the color. As Bowen moved farther into the room, she saw it. On the far wall, he’d painted a woman.
Her? It was… her.
Even though painted Sera was missing a mouth, it captured her eyes, her hair, with perfect detail. When she looked at it, she might as well have been looking in a mirror on her absolute best day. The way he saw her…it heightened what she knew actually existed. He’d painted her eyes as if they were weighed down with love, her hair floating out around her like a cloud.
Sera’s throat tightened painfully. She could feel Bowen watching her, awaiting some sort of reaction, but she didn’t know how to put her feelings into words. For his sake, she tried anyway.
“It’s beautiful. I wish you hadn’t gotten rid of all the others, but it’s so beautiful.”
He ran his gaze along the bare walls, horror marring his features. “I couldn’t have any of those things around you.
They had to go.”
“Oh.” She wondered what he would do if she curled up on the floor and basked in those words for a while.
“When did you do this?”
His booted feet made the floor creak as he closed the distance between them.
“The night I…left you here. I came back and found you sleeping under your halo.
But I couldn’t sleep afterward, so I painted.” He brushed a thumb over her bottom lip. “I should never have left that night. I’m so sorry.”
Sera nodded, unable to speak for a moment. “It’s okay. I’m starting to understand why you did.” She leaned into his touch. “But next time you won’t.
You won’t have to get that far before you realize you’re better than that.”
“Is it wrong if I let you go on thinking that?” he murmured. “Probably, but I’m going to anyway. Whatever will keep you here the longest.”
If he continued speaking in such a manner, she would turn into a puddle.
“Why don’t I have a mouth? My painting, I mean.”
“Huh?” It took his eyes a moment to refocus. “Oh, right. That’s what I need your help with. I couldn’t get your mouth right.” He tugged her toward the wall.
“Pose for me?”