I wondered that again as I leaned against the wall in Joy’s living room and watched people toss back drinks and dance to pounding rap music. There were about fifteen girls packed into the small room and every last one of them was hot. I’d been almost exclusively around guys for a long time so this was a welcome change for me.
Not everyone was as happy about my attendance, though. A few of the guys at the party were throwing hostile looks at me, making it clear they didn’t like me encroaching on their territory. Occasionally words like “GI Joe” and “Army grunt” filtered through the music. I even heard a couple of football players in the corner reciting choice quotes from Full Metal Jacket. These were probably the same guys who got choked up during the Super Bowl national anthem, moved by those three minutes of intense patriotism. And see, I had a problem with that. To me patriotism wasn’t a mood or a moment. It was so much more.
I ignored them and focused on hanging out with Anna and Taylor. I was still carrying around this scalding energy, this full payload of rage that was right there, reachable inside me. Ignitable. Some part of me wondered if it hadn’t been with me for a long time, only that I’d been denying it. I couldn’t ignore it now. I could only try to manage it.
Taylor turned out to be pretty hilarious. She was a big Dodger fan so we almost went to blows over that, but in a good way. I was glad my sister had made a good friend at school. Just as I was starting to settle in, Wyatt showed up.
I had promised myself I wouldn’t interfere again, so I hung back when Anna left to go talk to him. I couldn’t help watching them though. Even that bugged me. Wyatt’s facial expressions were too extreme. Like, dude. Watch the crazy eyes. Just dial it back a bit. I didn’t know how Anna was doing it. She had to feel like she was talking to a pinball machine.
“You know you have nothing to worry about, right?” Taylor said, laughing at me. “She’s over him. And I’m looking out for her.”
She was right. And Anna was smart. My sister knew what she was doing.
When Taylor headed to the patio to talk to her girlfriend, Joy wandered over. She leaned against the wall beside me and bumped my elbow, spilling a little of her beer on my sleeve. “What’s wrong, Army boy? You don’t drink?”
I did on occasion but not much. I’d been cursed with a stomach that didn’t tolerate a lot of things. Too much sugar, preservatives, grease. If I didn’t keep a good diet, I suffered. With booze especially I paid a pretty steep price, so I had to pick my battles. This wasn’t one of them. With everything going on, the last thing I needed was to lose my edge or spend the night hugging the toilet.
“Actually, Joy,” I answered, “I should be physically destroyed right now, technically speaking, but it looks like I might have developed a freaky fast-healing condition with a possible side of PTSD. So I thought I’d lay off the sauce tonight. Don’t want to push things over the edge, know what I mean?”
Joy cupped her ear. “What? Sorry, it’s so loud in here!”
“Can’t party tonight!” I pulled Anna’s phone out of my pocket. “In case there’s a national emergency!”
“Ohhh, got it!” Joy wrinkled her nose. “It’s so, like, noble you do that stuff!”
So far the Army had been the opposite of noble work for me. I got a mental image right then of Cory with shoelaces of snot coming out of his nose during a swim evolution. But hey. Someday I would put my life on the line for my country, so I didn’t see any harm in letting her opinion stand.
Joy and I shouted small talk at each other for a little while. She was cute and she seemed nice. She told me all about the great beaches in the Philippines, where she was from. Some place called Cebu. I wasn’t sure how I was doing hitting on her.
You’ll find this shocking, Cordero, but I haven’t always been the specimen you see in front of you. It wasn’t just the braces or the zits that slowed me down in high school. I never really tried. My lack of game never bothered me much, though. I’d never met anyone where it had actually mattered. Not until Daryn. But I’m getting ahead of myself.
Anna had gone back to hanging out with Taylor again. My sister looked okay. She didn’t look upset. On the other side of the room, Wyatt and his preppy buddies were having a competition to see who could show the most teeth when they laughed.
My gaze went to the patio where I’d met Joy earlier. A girl stood out there with a few other people, but she clearly wasn’t with them. She stood alone in front of the open sliding door. What held my attention, besides the fact that she was pretty, was her expression. She stared right at me, and she looked intense and determined. Like we were in the middle of an argument even though we hadn’t said a word to each other.
She stepped into the apartment and threaded through the people dancing at the center without breaking eye contact. Her gaze felt like a challenge, so I stepped up to the plate and met it. I wasn’t going to break first, but my confusion must have shown. Joy stopped talking and followed my sight line.
“Do you know that girl?” she asked.