“Please tell me you realize that none of that is normal. None of that is the way normal people react to a mess or seeing someone with an ex or having a fight. Right? You get that?” The concern was back in his expression again. It only took a little of the edge off the anger, not that his anger bothered her. And it certainly didn’t scare her. Because Maverick Rylan would never intentionally hurt her. It wasn’t even a question.
“I know,” she said on a sigh. Her shoulders fell and she ducked her chin. Unthinkingly, she rubbed her fingers over the indent where her ring used to be. “I do know. I knew as it was happening, although he always made things feel like they were my fault. Or I always found a way to rationalize what’d happened. I was the one who tripped on the box. I was the one who made the mess in the hall. I was the one who went on a bike ride with another man and didn’t tell my fiancé.” She shook her head. “I don’t know when I started thinking that way. I was thinking about it on the ride here and I can’t pinpoint exactly how it happened. Things were good between Grant and me at first. And then . . . it was like he changed, but only in bits and pieces that I learned to live with one at a time, until he’d become someone else and I’d accepted it all.” She shook her head, so disappointed in herself. “What happened to me?”
Maverick caught her chin in his fingers and made her look up at him. “Abusers know they have to work up to the bad behavior. Suck you in. Make you feel special. Get you acclimated to the abuse a little at a time. Wear you down more and more until you not only can’t fight back, you don’t fight back,” he said, voice gritty and raw. “I saw that shit with my mother, but I didn’t recognize what it was. My father did that shit with me, too. Abuse is insidious, Alexa. That’s why it’s so effective at tearing you down and stripping you of your defenses, your support system, your independence.”
Alexa nodded, surprised to hear Maverick talk about what had happened to Bunny. He’d never said much about it even when they’d been close. She often wondered if he’d said more to Tyler. But she knew it ate at him and always had. “Well, no more. I’m done. I left my ring and walked away, and it was the first smart thing I’ve done in so damn long even though I have no idea what it means for my life. But I can’t be with someone who treats me that way. And I certainly can’t marry him. I won’t.” She clutched her stomach as a wave of anxiety washed through her, the sensation almost as if she’d nearly been in a terrible accident. She fell back against the front door. “Oh, God, I can’t believe I came so close to marrying him.”
Maverick stepped in close. “He doesn’t know that part, though, right?”
“Not unless he opened the door and saw I wasn’t there, saw the ring.” She blew out a breath. “But I don’t care. I’m done.”
“He’s not going to let you go that easily,” Maverick said, peering down at her.
Her stomach flipped again as she nodded. Maybe. Probably. This was likely just the beginning of some hard days. But it was also the beginning of something new—a new life. What exactly that would be, who exactly she would be, she didn’t know. “What am I going to do? My entire life is wrapped up in him. My job. Where I live. My car. Where Mom lives. Everything. Oh, God. This is going to be a nightmare, isn’t it?”
Maverick grasped her hands. “One thing at a time. You’re out. You can stay here as long as you need to. I have plenty of room. I’ll help you through it. That’ll give you time to figure out what it is you want. There’s no rush.”
“Okay,” she said. “Okay. God, thank you.” A shiver raced over her skin.
“You don’t have to thank me. I’m so relieved for you that I might fall the fuck over,” he said, his thumb rubbing over her knuckles. She almost managed a little smile. “Your hands are like ice, Al. I shouldn’t have made you stand here all this time when you’re soaking wet.”
Alexa shook her head. “It felt good to get it out, Maverick.”
“Glad to hear it. Would a hot shower make you feel better? I can find you a T-shirt and a pair of boxers to change into while your clothes dry.”
All the TLC and understanding he was giving her reached right inside her chest. When was the last time someone had taken care of her this way?
The last time you were with Maverick. The truth of that thought made her breath catch. “Yeah. I’d like that,” she managed.
He gave a tight nod and stepped back, and she missed his heat immediately. “Uh, good. That’s good. You remember your way around?”
“Of course,” she said. How much time had she spent here over the years? Even before they dated? At one point, Maverick’s place had practically been a second home. Though, as she’d finally calmed down enough to take note of her surroundings, all the changes he’d alluded to the other day jumped out. The hardwoods were refinished, new drywall replaced the old, dark paneling, and the fireplace had been redone with gorgeous stonework. The finishes, fixtures, and décor were a fantastic mix of modern and lakeside cottage.
“You okay?” he asked, watching her.
She pushed off the door. “I don’t know yet,” she said, coming to him. “But what I do know is how grateful I am to you. For everything. For being there when I told you not to. For listening. For just . . . being you.”
“Always.” He crossed his big arms and ducked his chin, like something about the exchange made him uncomfortable.
“I mean it,” she said, and then she pressed onto tiptoes and kissed his cheek, his stubble tickling her lips. “You saved me tonight.”
“No,” he said, eyes flashing, one brow arched. “You saved yourself, Al. I was just your getaway driver.”
Staring into one another’s eyes, the tender moment stretched out, morphed, suddenly flashed hot. Being so close to him set her body on fire, and finally she could actually consider acting on it. Need roared through her, a living, breathing thing. “Maverick,” she whispered.
“Fuck, Alexa, I think you better go take that shower,” he said, his jaw ticking. “Now.”
She released a shaky breath and nodded. He was right. Of course, he was.
So, showering. She could handle that.
Afterward, God only knew what she was going to do.
CHAPTER 13
Alexa woke up in the middle of the night and immediately knew where she was—and where she wasn’t. She was in Maverick’s guest room, not in her own bed at home. Though, she supposed, she actually didn’t have a home right now, did she?
Annnd that thought pretty much ensured she wasn’t going back to sleep.
Part of her was surprised she’d fallen asleep in the first place, because her thoughts were a stressed-out, confused mess. But then she’d emerged from the shower feeling like she was carrying a lead blanket on her shoulders, and it had been all she could do to keep her eyes open. Maybe her brain had just needed to shut down. Maybe her sanity had just needed a break from this new reality. One where she had almost nothing.