She gave a shy little shrug. “I keep thinking I see him. One minute he’s there, and the next he’s not. At random times. Around the hospital. On the street. Tonight at the mall I kept feeling like someone was watching me, but of course no one was there. Just like no one’s ever there. I was just freaked out about the stuffed animal. After all that, Beckett just scared me and everything kinda crashed in on me.” The words spilled out of her in a rush.
“It’s not ridiculous, Becca,” Emilie said. “It’s PTSD.” Before all this, Emilie had worked as a clinical psychologist at a local university. Given the shit all of them had been through, she’d been an incredible resource for the whole team these past months.
“But I was fine,” Becca said, looking from Nick to Emilie to Kat. “I was fine after it happened.”
“The crisis of the investigation probably kept your brain otherwise focused. But then you went back to the scene of the abduction, and you were out on your own for the first time in months.” Emilie knelt where Nick had been. “Your nervous system is finally trying to process what happened to you. The anxiety, the reliving of the event, the spontaneous memories, the paranoia. These are all normal given what you went through.”
The list of symptoms lashed at Nick’s soul. He hated that Becca was hurting. Was the shit that had happened in Afghanistan never going to stop raining down on them? “She’s right,” Nick said, taking Becca’s hand. “How frequently has this been happening?”
Becca frowned, and her gaze went distant. “Maybe a half dozen times since I started back to work.”
“Aw, Sunshine,” Nick said. He hated that she’d been carrying this all by herself. But no more. “What can I do to help?”
“I don’t know,” Becca said. “I know it’s not real. But I can’t seem to make it stop.”
“It’s gonna take time,” Emilie said. “I can help you with some techniques to reduce and combat anxiety. Or you might consider seeing a therapist at the hospital.”
“Okay,” Becca said. “I’d like to talk to you, I think.”
Emilie nodded.
“Maybe you should consider taking off even earlier than you planned,” Kat said. Nick could’ve hugged her, because his thoughts were running in the same direction. But the last thing Becca needed was for him to be an overprotective asshole right now.
“I only have four and a half more shifts,” Becca said. “I’d hate to bail on everyone last minute.”
“Becca,” Kat said, taking her other hand. “You’re always taking care of everyone else. You have to let us take care of you, too.”
“I know,” Becca said in a small voice. “I think if we address this stuffed animal with the hospital and I’m talking to Emilie, I’ll feel better.”
“That’s a good start,” Nick said. “But until you take off, I’m walking you in and out of the hospital at the beginning and end of your shifts. If you have wedding errands you need to do, I want to be at your side. And, hey,” he said, gently turning her face toward him. “Please talk to me. I can’t be there for you if you don’t let me know what you need.”
Nodding, Becca gave him a look that nearly broke his fucking heart. “I just didn’t want to worry you.”
He lifted her left hand to his mouth and kissed her ring, then he pressed her hand to his heart. “Taking care of you is my job, Sunshine. For the rest of my life. In good times and in bad, remember?”
Glassiness filled her eyes. “Yeah.”
Kat rose, and Emilie followed suit. “We’ll give you guys some time alone,” Kat said. She leaned over and pressed a kiss against the top of Becca’s head. “I had fun shopping with you, sis.”
It was the first smile he’d seen from Becca since he’d walked into the room. “I had fun with you, too, Kat,” Becca said. “You’re going to be the best sister ever.”
“Hey, I already am,” Kat said with a grin. She and Emilie left.
“Can we get ready for bed?” Becca asked in a small voice. “I’d really like to just lay down with you.”
“Of course,” Nick said, helping her up. They got changed without talking much, then he climbed into bed and held his arm open to her. Becca crawled in alongside his body and fitted herself tight against his side, like she always did. She fit so fucking perfectly against him. Nick stroked his fingers through her hair. “I don’t want you to ever feel like you can’t talk to me. About anything.”
“I know. I do feel like I can,” Becca said, shifting to meet his gaze. Her eyes were so blue. “I should’ve said something sooner. I’m sorry.”
“I get it,” Nick said. “I do. But the best thing about having a team is you get help carrying the load. You and me. We’re a team now.”
Becca smiled. “Always and forever.”
“That’s fucking right.”
“I won’t forget again,” she said.
“You didn’t forget, Sunshine. You’re still just getting used to the idea. Me too.” He hugged her in against him. “It’s hard to lean on someone else when you’ve been so used to walking on your own.”
She nodded. “I love you, Nick.”
“I love you, too. There’s nothing to worry about. I promise you,” he said. And Nick was going to do whatever it took to make that the truth.
WHILE BECCA WAS in the shower the next morning, Nick let the guys know what was going on. Standing around the island in the kitchen, he said, “Becca is dealing with some PTSD from the abduction attempts. Probably triggered by returning to work, the scene of the first attack. And she keeps thinking she’s seeing Woodson.”
“Damn,” Beckett said. “We all saw how roughly he treated her when he tried to grab her the second time. It’s no wonder she’s struggling.”
Nick nodded, the memory souring the coffee in his gut. “Vance has given me some circumstantial evidence that places Woodson in South Carolina, where he’s been since we interrogated him, but just keep your eyes open. Be on the lookout. I’m going to do a little more digging there to make sure Becca’s not discounting something that’s really there.”
“Can’t be too careful,” Beckett said.
“No, not with Becca. That’s for damn sure.”
“This place is about as secure as we can make it,” Marz said. “So we’re good here. And the cameras from around the neighborhood are still up and running, so if you have Woodson’s vehicle specs, I can keep an eye out. Make sure nothing’s hanging around that shouldn’t be.”
“Do that,” Nick said. “Thanks. I’m going to talk to hospital security this morning about this damn thing.” He pointed to the stuffed animal, sitting in a plastic bag on the counter.
“Sick fuck,” Shane said, glaring at it. “You should let Vance know about this, too.”
“I will. I’ve got a whole to-do list on this today. I’m going to talk to Vance after I leave the hospital, and then I’m going to drop by the inn and work with them to beef up the event security they already provide. I don’t want Becca thinking about anything besides having a good time on our wedding day.”
Nods all around.
“What am I missing? Can you think of anything else?” Nick asked.