Lying on her bed still in her pajamas, the morning sunlight spilling in through her window, Haven had never been more grateful for something to think about in her life, since it kept her from replaying Dare’s words over and over in her head.
I’m not fucking serious about Haven, okay? She’s just a client like every other client. Nothing more. So drop it. She’s leaving, just like we planned, just like the club voted. It’ll be better for everyone when she’s gone.
Better for everyone when she’s gone. He wanted her gone. Because she wasn’t anyone special—not to him.
Oh, who was she kidding? She hadn’t been able to think about anything except his words. She just couldn’t figure out how her instincts had been so damn wrong. Haven wasn’t so na?ve that she equated sex with love, but Dare had said and done things, too. Things that made it seem like she wasn’t the only one getting in deep—holding her, taking care of her, saying he couldn’t get enough of her. Just the memories they’d shared with one another about their lives would’ve made their time together emotional, even if nothing physical had passed between them.
But it had.
It had, and it had meant everything to Haven.
And nothing at all to Dare.
God, she was really going to have to get a whole lot tougher if she was going to make it in this world, wasn’t she? Because if someone she believed to be fundamentally good could hurt her so bad, she’d have to be a whole lot stronger to withstand someone who intended her harm.
And that all started with a new name. At least they got a choice in the matter.
Haven stared down at the blank page in her notebook. Cora lay beside her, scribbling away. They were supposed to be comparing lists. Of course, that was assuming Haven could think about anything except Dare. And her stupid, na?ve broken heart.
“You’re not writing anything,” Cora said.
“I know. I’m thinking.” She pressed her pen to the page and wrote the first thing that came to her mind. Alice. Not because she particularly liked it but because Haven felt like she had a heck of a lot in common with the fairy tale character by the same name. She’d certainly fallen down the rabbit hole, hadn’t she?
Cora peered over her arm. “Be serious. Alice is too old for you.”
Haven collapsed facedown on her notebook.
Shoving her to the side, Cora frowned down at her. “Okay, that’s it. Tell me what’s going on right now. I could tell you were upset yesterday, so I tried to give you some space to come to me when you were ready, but now I’m too worried to play it cool, so just tell me what happened. Did Dare hurt you?” Something close to panic slid through Cora’s green eyes. “Because if he did—”
“No, no,” Haven said, grasping at Cora’s wildly gesticulating hand. “Well, he did, but not the way you’re thinking.”
“Haven, so help me—”
“We had sex. And then I overheard him telling Maverick and Phoenix he didn’t care about me and would be glad when I was gone. Okay?” She flopped onto her back and blew out the breath she felt like she’d been holding since that awful moment before she’d walked into Dare’s office.
Cora stared at her, her brow furrowing into a sharp frown. “Oh, Haven. What happened?”
Why had she thought she could keep all this bottled up from Cora? The time with Dare had just been so amazingly overwhelming that she’d needed to process it and get her emotions under control so she didn’t end up sounding like a love-struck idiot. And then he’d gone and proven she was exactly that. And it had just been too much to share—with anyone.
Blinking fast to hold back the tears that she’d so far refused to let fall, Haven pushed herself into a sitting position against the wall. “I don’t even know where to start. But I know where it ends—with a freaking broken heart. And it’s my own fault.” She shook her head.
“Did he . . . did you want him to—”
“Yes, I wanted it. I wanted it all seven times, depending on whether you include oral sex as it.” Heat rushed into her cheeks.
Cora’s mouth dropped open, and her expression was almost comical. “Seven? Seven? Holy crap, Haven. He holed you away at his place for an overnight sex fest and then tells his guys you’re not important to him? That’s bullshit.”
Haven shrugged. It didn’t feel right to her either, but she’d heard the words. Plain as day.
“What did you say?”
“When?” Haven asked, confused.
“When he said that,” Cora said, anger making her cheeks pink.
“I didn’t say anything. Bunny had asked me to take him a plate of breakfast she’d saved, and I totally walked into his conversation. Phoenix and Maverick were there. It was clear that they all knew I’d overheard, so I just left as fast as I could.” God, just thinking back on it made Haven’s stomach turn.
“And he didn’t come after you?” Cora asked. Haven shook her head. “That asshole.”
Shaking her head, Haven’s thoughts whirled. “It’s not all his fault—”