“How did you get by after you ran away from home? Before you got here? How did you make it on your own like that?” He’d glossed over that part of the story, only saying that times had been hard, hard enough that they’d forced him to seek help in a place he’d been told he’d never find it.
He heaved a deep breath behind her. “I lived in a cave for a week, waiting for Kyle to come like he’d promised he would. I’d heard the gunshots, but I was just a stupid kid. And I’d held out hope.”
Haven moved to turn in his arms, but his grip tightened, holding her right where she was.
Dare cleared his throat. “When I finally faced facts, I started hitchhiking. I had about seventy dollars to my name, and I made it last as long as I could. In New Mexico, I found a restaurant that would save me their evening leftovers, so I stayed there for a while. But that was too close to home to settle. So I kept moving. Going nowhere in particular. Stealing when I had to. Sleeping on park benches. And then I got picked up by this middle-aged couple, Lisa and her husband, Brant. They had an RV, and they were just traveling, going nowhere in particular, too. They were nice. It seemed good. It was better than being dirty and homeless and hungry, for sure.”
She could hear the but hanging on the end of his words, and her heart kicked up in her chest. She linked her fingers between his where he still palmed her breast.
“After being with them for a while, one night they gave me an ultimatum. If I wanted to keep traveling with them and sharing their food, Lisa wanted to have sex with me. And Brant wanted to watch.”
Haven couldn’t hold in the gasp. He was fifteen. Fifteen! “Did they know how old you were?”
“From the first day,” he said.
Oh, God. Her belly squeezed with dread and sadness. Especially because she knew what it was for people to push you for things you didn’t want to give. Despite having been “spoiled” by Zach—her father’s word—her dad made it clear to the men who hung around that Haven wasn’t on the menu unless he put her there. He never did. Not officially at least.
But the guys took liberties when they thought they could get away with it. Pawing her butt and breasts. Grabbing her face and stealing a kiss. Forcing her hand against their erections—one guy had gone so far as to push her hand into his pants and use it to jerk off. Her arm had been bruised for days after. It had only taken one time for someone to drunkenly come into her room at night and molest her while she slept before she started bracing her desk chair against the back of the door. Of course, the lewd comments, innuendos, and threats were par for the course.
And there were never not a bunch of guys around her father’s house.
As for her father? He looked the other way every time, and punished her for causing the trouble in the first place sometimes. One time he even beat her with his belt for fighting back and managing to give the guy a black eye. She knew that had been about proving who was boss, but it had taught her a lesson, too. Don’t draw attention. Stick to the shadows whenever possible. Hide the parts of her they all seemed so desperate to claim.
Finally, Dare continued. “We were in the middle of nowhere Nevada during a brutal heat wave. Miles from the next town. I think they planned it that way. Knew I couldn’t walk anywhere from there. Not safely.” Haven felt him shrug. “So I agreed.”
Part of her wanted to pour out all the words of sympathy and outrage she felt welling up inside her, but Haven’s gut told her he wouldn’t want that, wouldn’t appreciate it, and might even stop talking if she did. So she forced herself to be still and quiet until he started talking again.
“Brant watched. Jerked himself off to me screwing his wife. It became a thing after that, and it became more and more tied to paying my way. I hated it, but I didn’t have many options. I was already making an exit plan when they announced one night that Brant wanted his turn with me. I had to fight him off. And I ran that night.”
Haven swallowed, the sound thick to her own ears. “How long were you with them?”
“All told? About six months. After that, it took me most of another year before I made it here.”
In her horror over his situation, something absolutely sickening occurred to Haven, and she whipped around to face him. “Oh, God. Is that what I’m doing? Using you?” That he might think so made her so nauseous that she had to wrap her arms around her stomach.
“No,” he said, the word loud and fierce, a scowl darkening his whole face. He pressed her back into the bed, hovering over her, his hair casting shadows over his harsh features. “Fuck, no, Haven. I’ve wanted every second I’ve had with you. What happened back then—that was exploitation and survival. What’s happening now, right here, between us—”
She hung on the edge of a cliff, desperate to know how he’d characterize it. He dragged his fingertips down her cheek.
“It’s the first real connection I’ve had in my whole goddamned life.”
No one had ever said something so beautiful to her, all the more so because she felt the exact same way.