Rich People Problems (Crazy Rich Asians #3)

“Well then she’s running out of contenders. No way she would ever let one of the Leong boys get ahold of the house, but maybe one of the Aakaras?” Mabel wondered.

Cassandra snorted. “That would be too ironic for words! Would she really spite Philip and Nicky—the only true Youngs left—in favor of those foreign grandsons getting Tyersall Park? I think not.”

“Maybe she’s had a change of heart, then. Don’t you think Nicky might have been reinstated?” Jacqueline said.

“Definitely not. He’s still banned from the house! My sources tell me that he goes over there every day groveling on his knees, hoping to see her, but he still can’t get in. Why would she suddenly give him Tyersall Park now?” Cassandra argued.

Mabel scrunched her face. “That stupid boy. Giving everything up for that ugly girl.”

“Come on lah, Mabel, she’s not ugly. She’s quite pretty, actually. She’s just…not the kind of beauty one would have expected for Nicky,” Jacqueline remarked diplomatically.

“I know what you mean. Rachel is pretty, but in a very conventional way. Her lack of style doesn’t do her any favors, either,” Cassandra said.

Jacqueline smiled. “I wish I could tell her that she needs to grow out her hair by another four inches. That medium-long length is just so American.”

Cassandra nodded in agreement. “And her nose is a bit too rounded. Her eyes could be a bit bigger too.”

“And have you seen the way she sits? So frightfully common.” Mabel sniffed.

“Uggh! I can’t bear to listen to any more of this!” Lucia shrieked in anger, pushing her chair back dramatically. “You’re all talking about Rachel as if she was some kind of show dog! What does it even matter what she looks like, as long as they love each other? Uncle Nicky gave up everything to be with her. I think that’s sooooo romantic! I can’t wait to meet her. And you’re all wrong—I know what’s going to happen to Tyersall Park, and it’s certainly not what any of you think!”

“Shut up, Lucia! Stop making up stories!” Mabel scolded.

“Ah Ma, you and Auntie Cassie just chatter on and on about so much rubbish but none of you have a clue what’s really going on! Do you ever listen to what Grandpa and Daddy talk about?” With that, Lucia stormed out of the breakfast room, the ladies staring openmouthed after her.

“What utter nonsense!” Cassandra scoffed.

Mabel shook her head gravely. “Can you believe how rude that girl has become? I knew Bedales would be all wrong for her—those teachers do nothing but keep encouraging her confidence! My goodness, back in my day at the Convent,*8 if I had talked like that, the nuns would have beat me blue black with a wooden ruler! Neh kor suey neui moh yong, gae!”*9

Jacqueline’s eyes narrowed. “On the contrary, Mabel—I don’t think she’s useless at all. I think you have a very smart little girl on your hands. Smarter than I ever realized…”





* * *




*1 The interiors were given a marvelous face-lift in the mid-1990s by David Mlinaric, coinciding with Mabel’s own (much less marvelous) face-lift.

*2 Cantonese for “fish porridge.”

*3 Cantonese for “This half-breed granddaughter will be the death of me.”

*4 Cantonese for “so crazy.”

*5 Hokkien slang for “contacts” or “connections.”

*6 Cantonese for “so shameful.”

*7 Malay slang for “mates” or “buddies.” Although, should you really be calling the cheating scoundrels who try to screw you at every mah-jongg game your buddies?

*8 Mabel, like many other well-born women of her generation, attended Singapore’s venerable Convent of the Holy Infant Jesus. These days, the nuns have long since retired, and by most accounts, corporal punishment is no longer practiced.

*9 Cantonese for “This lousy girl is useless.” (A refrain heard by Cantonese daughters since the beginning of time.)





CHAPTER FIVE


PULAU CLUB, SINGAPORE

Godfrey Loh, the esteemed Supreme Court justice, could not believe what he was hearing in the stall next to his in the men’s room of the Pulau Club.

“Yeah, that’s so hot. Fucky fuck! I need a close-up. Send me a close-up, pleeeease.”

What in God’s name was happening?

“Wait a minute. The pic is still downloading—Wi-Fi’s terrible in here. Oh my God…I’m looking at it now. Phwoar! So…fucking…sexy!”

Someone is looking at dirty pictures on his phone right next to me! But who is it? Sounds like a Hong Kong accent. No wonder, all the men in Hong Kong are perverts. That’s what you get from a country when you can buy filthy magazines right in the airport!

“Looks like it’s dripping wet. It’s so beautiful I want to lick it all over! Come on, come on, I’m ready for it now!”

Is this creep actually engaging in phone sex in the next stall? Godfrey had heard enough. He emerged from the cubicle hurriedly and went over to the sink, washing his hands furiously with twice the amount of soap he would normally use. He felt dirty all over just listening to that heavy breather in the stall.

“I want to slip my whole foot inside.”

He wants to do WHAT with his foot? This man should be arrested. Godfrey banged his fist against the stall door and said loudly, “You are a degenerate! A complete disgrace to this esteemed club! Take your dirty business elsewhere! Not in our toilets!”

Inside the cubicle, Eddie looked up from his phone, completely mystified. “Sorry, I have no idea what that was about. Some ranting weirdo—Singapore’s full of them. Anyway, when will this last coat dry? Stop teasing me, Carlo. I need these shoes now!”

“Just a few more days. We are waiting for this latest coat of varnish to dry, and then we’re going to add one more. Once the patina is perfect, we can overnight them to you in Singapore,” Carlo replied.

“My uncle Taksin—you know, he’s a Thai prince—I can’t wait for him to see me in these. Taksin started wearing bespoke Lobbs when he was five years old. Nobody else will appreciate them like he would,” Eddie said as he gazed longingly at the picture of his new custom-made Marini shoes. These tasseled loafers were glazed a deep lapis blue, a process that took up to four weeks to achieve in Marini’s Rome atelier, and the shoemaker, Carlo, had been sending him teaser photos of the progress all through the month.

“You will have them by this weekend,” Carlo promised.

Eddie ended his call, pulled up his pants, flushed the toilet, and walked back to the Lookout—the casual eatery with sweeping views of the nature reserve where Singapore’s oldest and most exclusive country club was situated.* Returning to the table where members of his extended family had gathered for a luncheon hosted by his aunt Felicity, he asked his wife, Fiona, “Did you order me the beef satay and the chicken rice?”

“No one’s ordered yet,” Fiona replied, giving him a strange frown. It was then that Eddie noticed that no one at the table was talking, but all eyes were on Felicity. Her eyes were red and swollen with tears, and his mother, Alix, was busily fanning her with a menu.

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