Rich People Problems (Crazy Rich Asians #3)

“Actually, there are gold chips sewn into it, and it’s encrusted with precious stones. It’s totally outrageous,” Kitty said, as she sniffed a glass container of body lotion placed on the side table and began rubbing some on her arms.

“Well, I suppose she can do whatever she wants with her money.”

“But I thought you cut her off completely?”

Jack went silent for a minute, then suddenly groaned. “AWWWWW! Why does that hurt so much?”

The therapist kneaded a point on his foot with her thumb and forefinger and sternly pronounced, “Sir, this is your gallbladder—it’s totally inflamed. I think you must have consumed too much cognac and oily foods last night. Did you have those fried oysters and abalone noodles again when I told you not to?”

“Aww! Aww! Let go! Let go!” Jack screamed.

“Jack, answer me. What did you mean by her money?” Kitty pressed on, oblivious to his pain.

Jack sighed in relief as the therapist finally released his foot. “Colette receives income from a trust fund. It was part of my divorce settlement with Lai Di.”

“Why is this the first time I’m hearing of it?”

“Well, I didn’t want to bore you with the details of my divorce.”

“I thought Lai Di only got two billion?”

“She did, but as a condition of her walking away and not making any more noise, I had to set up a trust fund for Colette.”

“Oh really? And how much is that trust fund worth?”

Jack murmured something in a muffled tone.

“Speak up, honey, I can’t hear you…you said what in U.S. currency?”

“About five billion.”

“YOU GAVE YOUR DAUGHTER FIVE BILLION DOLLARS?” Kitty bolted upright on the chaise lounge.

“I didn’t give her five billion. She gets the income from a trust worth about five billion. It’s all tied to shares in my companies, anyway, so her income fluctuates every year depending on the dividend yields. And it’s only for her lifetime.”

“And what happens after her lifetime?”

“It will go to any children she has.”

Suddenly visions of Colette and her future half-white children began flooding into Kitty’s mind. She could see Colette in a white summer dress, running barefoot through a field in the English countryside with laughing golden-haired kids. She began to seethe quietly as she calculated the figures in her head. Even if the trust was getting a measly one percent interest on five billion, this meant that Colette—who she always presumed was being supported by her poor mother who only had two billion dollars—would get at least fifty million dollars in pure income every year! And her unnaturally photogenic children, who wouldn’t even know their Chinese grandfather, would also benefit from this!

“So where does this leave us?” Kitty said in a grave tone.

“What do you mean?”

“If you’ve set aside so much money for your darling daughter, who by the way won’t even speak to you anymore, and her half-breed children, that haven’t even been born yet, what are you doing for your other children and your poor wife?”

“I don’t understand your question. What do I do for you? I work my balls off for you, and you have a fantastic life and get everything your heart desires. Didn’t you just spend ten million dollars in Paris?”

“It was only nine point five—I’m a Chanel Privé preferred client, and they gave me a special discount. But say something happens to you? What happens to me?” Kitty demanded.

“Nothing’s going to happen to me. But don’t worry, you’ll be well taken care of.”

“What do you mean by ‘well taken care of’?”

“You’ll also get a two-billion-dollar trust.”

So, I’m not worth as much as your daughter, Kitty thought to herself, feeling her anger boil up. “And how much is Harvard getting?”

“Harvard is my son. He will get everything else of course, and let me remind you that’s a great deal more than five billion dollars.”

“And Gisele?”

“I don’t see why I need to leave Gisele anything. She is going to inherit all the Tai billions one day.”

Kitty stood up from the chaise lounge and walked toward the door. “It is so interesting to know all this. I can see where your true priorities lie now.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You’re not really thinking of me…or our children,” Kitty said, her voice shaking with emotion.

“Of course I am!”

“No, you’re not! You’re not thinking of us at all.”

“Babylove, don’t be unreasonable…ooohhwwhhh…not so hard there!” Jack yelled at the therapist who had climbed up on the massage table and was now kneading his ass with the full weight of her bare feet.

“Sir, you spend too much time sitting—that is why your buttocks hurt so much. I am barely stepping on them,” the woman said in a soothing tone.

“I cannot believe you would give your daughter five billion dollars just like that! After all she’s done to you!” Kitty cried.

“Ouch…aww…Kitty, you’re not making any sense! Colette is my only daughter—why should it matter if she gets five billion, when I give you everything you want? Aii-yowwww!” Jack moaned.

“Stomp harder on his ass! And stomp on his saggy balls while you’re at it!” Kitty shouted, fleeing the room in tears.





* * *




* Kitty also had the attractive eastern European therapists that Colette kept on staff replaced with middle-aged Chinese women who resembled Madame Mao.





CHAPTER ELEVEN


HONG KONG

Chloe had finally fallen asleep after he had rubbed her back for half an hour, and Charlie tiptoed quietly up to his bedroom. He sat leaning against the foot of the bed, facing the floor-to-ceiling window with its panoramic view of Victoria Harbour and dialed Astrid’s private line in Singapore. It rang a few times, and just as Charlie began to think he was calling too late, a sleepy-sounding Astrid picked up.

“Sorry, did I wake you up?” Charlie half whispered.

“No, I was reading. Did you just get home?”

“I’ve been in all night, but I was putting out a few fires.”

“Isabel again?”

Charlie sighed. “No, nothing to do with her this time. Chloe had been bugging me for weeks to let her watch this movie, and I stupidly allowed her and Delphine to see it tonight…The Fault in Our Stars.”

“I don’t know it.”

“I thought it was for kids, but trust me, it’s not. It’s sort of like a modern-day retelling of Love Story.”

“Oh no. Young love, tragic ending?”

“You have no idea. When I began to realize where it was headed, I tried turning the movie off, but the girls screamed bloody murder, so I let them keep watching. Chloe’s obsessed with the guy in the film, this goofy blond kid. But then in the end…oh God.”

“In the end you had two weeping girls?”

“Sobbing uncontrollably. I think Delphine’s traumatized for life.”

“Charlie Wu! She’s eight years old! What on earth were you thinking?” Astrid scolded.

“I know, I know. I was lazy, I saw the DVD cover and read the first two lines on the back. It looked harmless.”

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