I nod, deciding to let it rest until Joel speaks up. “Easton says you don’t know why Stella and your father broke up. That the reason wasn’t in the emails.”
“I’ve searched them relentlessly and came up empty. It’s the only thing that still haunts me about their story. I can’t make sense of the why. One day they were happy, planning a wedding, engaged. The next, the emails ceased for months. The movie doesn’t have a hint my father even existed, so I can’t make heads or tails of what went down or when. My dad and Stella broke up months before Stella and Reid reunited. You wouldn’t happen to know, would you?”
“Wish I could help you. Reid and I are close, but he doesn’t talk about the past that much. At least not that in-depth about his history with Stella.”
“Men,” I roll my eyes. “Why can’t you guys overshare like girls do, and know every sordid detail?”
“Sometimes we do,” he winks, and my neck reddens as I recall Easton’s musing about his now infamous Tahoe blowjob. Joel reads my expression and holds up his palms. “Oh shit, Natalie, no, not like that. He’s not spilling intimate details. He’s keeping you all to himself in that respect.”
“Oh, thank God. I thought I was going to need a parachute.”
“You dive. I have to follow,” he chuckles.
We sit in comfortable silence as I run my hand down the rich leather of the seat.
“It’s been hard on me, you know,” I admit after a few minutes, looking over at him. “Only having my fucking horse to confide in.” We share a lengthy stare-off before bursting into laughter. “I know, right? It’s ridiculous, but he’s a faithful horse and a good listener.”
“Hang in there, sweetheart. Things will work out.”
“God, I hope you’re right.” I swallow as I reflect on this morning’s close call. “Joel, c-can I ask your opinion?”
“You know you can.”
“Do you think we’re doing the right thing by keeping our relationship from our parents?”
“Honestly, I think it’s a tough situation for you both to have to navigate. In a way, it seems really deceptive, but at the same time, I completely understand why you both decided to go about it this way for now.”
“I came really close to walking into my father’s office this morning and confessing all.”
“What stopped you?”
“What’s stopped me from the start. The emails. That combined with the fact that I’m happy. I chickened out.” I swallow. “Do you think our parents will understand…I mean, eventually?”
Joel grimaces, and I already know his answer before he voices it. “I don’t know their history, so it’s hard for me to say one way or another. I wish I could ease your mind, and I really hope for both your sakes they do.”
I nod. “I’m sorry, and I’m sorry I put you in the position to answer that.”
“Hey,” he prompts sharply, drawing my eyes from the landscape below. “I care a lot about Easton and you. This isn’t just a job for me.”
“I know. He loves you.”
He seems to stare through the passing clouds. “I would lose my damned mind if anything happened to him.”
“So, is it really like a proud papa thing for you?”
“It’s weird,” he says, easing back in his seat slightly. “It’s like I remember every part of his childhood, and I’ve had to stop myself a lot over the years from overstepping when Reid and Stella aren’t around…but now? I truly recognize him as the man he’s become, who’s got to make his own choices and mistakes. I wouldn’t say it’s a father’s love, but definitely an uncle’s. A very close uncle.”
“I get that. I love that.”
“It’s a balancing act sometimes for me, more back then than now,” he admits. “But when it comes down to it, this really hasn’t been a job for me for a long time. Blood or not, we are family. Even when the job ends, I know for certain our relationship won’t. I don’t even question that.” His chest bounces. “Hell, I have a designated bedroom at the Crowne house and put it to good use during the holidays.”
“That’s awesome.”
Melancholy sneaks in at the thought I might not ever be welcome or accepted in the Crowne house—in any capacity. That Easton’s parents may never embrace me and vice versa. Even worse, I can’t picture my father accepting Easton, at all.
What future can we have?
“You have to live your life, Natalie,” Joel speaks up, sensing my budding apprehension. “You can’t base important life decisions on the feelings of others. That’s one thing I can say for certain. What you two found with each other and have now is rare, really fucking rare, and I can attest to that because I’ve watched it happen. So, embrace it for what it is and let the worries for what might be go for now, because those are out of your control.”
“Thank you,” I say. “I really, really, needed to hear that.” I look around the cabin of the plane. “I’m sure you’ve witnessed a lot over the years.”
“Yeah, I really have.” He chuckles, his eyes going glassy. “Stella and Reid were pretty mild, though they had their moments. Stella was a pistol as is, and when her Latina came out, everyone took cover.” He full-on laughs. “Reid has a temper, and most of the time, he kept it subdued. But put those two together on a bad night, the turbulence took place inside the plane.”
“I can’t imagine.”
“They’ve provided a fair share of drama over the years, but were always quick to make up and often did before the wheels hit the ground. Ben and Lexi—whole different animal. Lexi wouldn’t let Ben take Benji on tour without her, so those were good times.” Joel widens his eyes and tips his head back. “Picture an entire rock band, their spouses and kids, and mix that with some of the company the band kept,” he harrumphs. “It was a circus.”
I wince. “That bad?”
“Mostly when they toured with another band who gave zero fucks around toddlers and infants.” He shakes his head. “Put it this way, certain people with egos and unlimited money shouldn’t be granted the freedom that comes with it—no matter how talented they are—because they’re fucking terrifying to be around. I’ve had to deal with that in abundance, some of it on this fucking plane.”
“This is the Sergeants’ plane, isn’t it?”
Joel shrugs. “Well, it doesn’t belong to a big-breasted pop princess.”
“So why not tell me—” I widen my eyes. “Shit, Joel, did Easton steal the Sergeants’ plane so you could pick me up?”
“Wouldn’t be the first time,” he chuckles. “Or the second.”
“Jesus,” I can’t help my smile. “And I thought sneaking my dad’s Audi out for a joyride made me a rebel.”
“Easton has an amazing track record of busting Reid’s balls.”
“Apparently. So, speaking of band dynamics, how are the guys getting along?”
“They’re killing every show without fail.”
“Yeah, but backstage? Easton said he and LL don’t vibe well. Easton thinks he’s on something.”
“Something is going on with him. I’m not sure it’s drugs, but he’s definitely wrestling some demon. As long as he keeps his shit away from you and East and does his job, I really don’t give a damn.”
“I think LL’s misunderstood,” I say honestly.
“Natalie.” The warning in his voice jars me. “Do us both a favor and don’t look into it.”
“It’s escalating that badly?”
“For now, Reid’s keeping them both in check, but Easton’s been a lot less tolerant of LL since Dallas.”
“Really?” Anxiety spikes. “I’m partially to blame for that. I’ll talk to him.”
Joel goes to object, and I lift my hand.
“I won’t say a word about this discussion or rat you out, I swear. I’ll figure out a way to work it into a conversation.”
“Thanks. See, this is a prime example of when it gets dicey,” he relays.
“I totally understand, but you can trust me,” I promise.
“Why don’t you just enjoy tonight and let them work their testosterone issues out for themselves.”
“I think I will. I can’t believe he sent you for me.”