“What do you want to hear?”
“Admit you were just fucking jealous! Admit that it hurt you when I didn’t look at you on stage tonight. Admit that you want this to happen just as badly as I do.”
“It can’t happen.”
“It already has, and you know it.”
I drop my gaze as the sting again starts behind my eyes. “Easton, I’ve explained this over and over again, okay? I should go. I need to go.”
Several heartbeats later, he speaks up.
“Then go… Run.” My eyes flick to his as he averts his and takes several steps away from the door, giving me a wide berth. “Run. I promise you won’t ever hear from me again.”
I grip the knob as he keeps his back to me.
“That’s not what I want.”
“It’s what it is, Natalie.”
“I’m not running.”
“Sure, you aren’t. But just know, the second you step out of that door, we’ll both be settling for whatever’s out there after. At least I know I fucking will.”
The burn in my throat worsens as I remain where I stand. “Easton, I’ll admit I have feelings for—”
“Right,” he cuts me off, shoving his hands in his jeans.
“I don’t want to leave like this.”
“You don’t want to leave at all,” he utters.
“You’re so sure.”
“Yeah, I fucking am because you’re still here.”
“Because I hate this animosity between us. Can’t we just try to—”
“No.” He shakes his head adamantly. “No. Fuck no. You know why. We started out heart to heart, and we can’t go backward from that.”
“I don’t fit in your world.”
He darts cutting eyes back to me. “What’s wrong? Didn’t like the party?”
“Sure,” I retort dryly. “It was grand.”
“That’s what you expected, right?” His chest bounces. “This is how you see me living?”
“Whatever, Crowne. It’s your life.”
He reels on me. “That’s the opposite of how I live my fucking life, Natalie. I’ve been there, done it all. That’s so far from how I’m living—it’s comical.”
“Seemed pretty comfortable to me,” I snap.
“Easier for you to believe because it makes leaving easier on you. But it’s just another lie you’ll tell yourself.”
I cross my arms. “So, what, are you telling me that party was just for show?”
Within a heartbeat, he’s lifting his phone to his ear and barking a command. “Get them downstairs and cut it in half.”
“What are you doing?” I ask. “What is this?”
The music stops abruptly, the pulse of bass now absent from the walls as mixed protests sound from the partygoers down the hall. Easton takes a step toward me.
“You’ve been making backward comments for the last two days, Natalie. Apparently, this is how you see me living, even though you spent four days witnessing the opposite back in Seattle. I could tell you all day, every fucking day, that this is not what my life is on the road, but…actions speak louder, and though words are supposed to be your kryptonite, mine don’t seem to do shit.”
I gape at him as he draws closer.
“I’ve been bashing myself against you painfully for the last forty-eight hours, fighting like hell to get past your barricade—back to you.” He slaps his chest. “I’ve given you more than I have most after a lifetime of fucking knowing them. What the hell do I have to fucking do?”
“I don’t understand what you want!”
“Oh, the fuck you don’t, Jesus,” he cups the back of his head in exasperation before pointing toward the door. “That is not my fucking life. That’s not my future, either. The truth is really fucking boring. I’m up by 7 a.m. running, and I eat my fucking vegetables. I listen to podcasts or music if I’m not driving. I write, rehearse, play, work out again to exacerbate the energy I never seem to run out of after a show, and it’s lights out after a shower.” He takes another step toward me. “I’ve already lived my rock fantasy bullshit out and had my fill—in my early teens. I want no part of it. That’s not my life, Natalie, and it won’t ever fucking be.”
He takes another step forward, forcing me to look up at him.
“You can say it’s our parents’ history keeping this from happening—”
“It is,” I interrupt.
“That’s not all it is,” he fires back vehemently. “I heard you in Seattle. Every word you said, and I took them to heart. So, what is this? This is my way of getting rid of what doubts I can control because this thing, this thing between us, to me, is worth the fucking effort.” Another step. “Intelligent men don’t let life-changing women pass them by without trying to grasp onto them with both hands. I don’t need endless months to figure out you’re that woman for me. I’m not most men, Natalie. I know exactly what I don’t want, and it’s everything outside of that door. What I do want is standing in front of me, and the idea of letting her walk away from me a second time is fucking eating me alive.”
Unable to swallow, I try and fail to control my breathing as he palms the door on either side of my head. “I haven’t touched another woman or even had the desire to since I was inside you.”
My lips part in shock, while somewhere deep inside, I get confirmation I already knew that to be the truth.
“Try as I may—because you’re fucking infuriating—I can’t get you out of my goddamned head.” His eyes dip to my lips and then back up. “I can’t even get off anymore without thinking about you. I don’t bother trying.”
“It’s the c-chase,” I stutter out.
“Oh, yeah, the chase,” he chides. “You mean the one and only thing about this situation that makes me want to run in the opposite fucking direction?”
His eyes roam down my body in a lustful sweep, and it’s all I can do to hide my involuntary shiver.
“Okay,” he grits out, jaw ticking. “I’ll go again. I didn’t realize I was a jealous man…until tonight. I have you to thank for that.”
He crowds me against the door as I battle the instinct to pull him closer, his scent invading as my arousal spikes immeasurably while his words crash through me.
“Have you let anyone touch you, Beauty?” He lowers a hand before tracing his fingertips along the fabric at my stomach. Panting, I sink against the feel of his touch as his eyes light in satisfaction. “Thought so.”
Keeping my eyes, he releases the sterling silver buckle I picked out for him hours earlier, the clank ringing in my ears as my panties flood. “Did you like watching LL get his cock sucked?”
His question has my eyes bulging as his own gaze begins to rapidly heat.
Briefly, I lower mine to see the buckle release is as far as he went. Disappointment seeps into me, my need for him gripping me by the throat.
“You think I didn’t see you scanning that party for me every time you got turned on?”
The path of his finger trails down my neck before he sweeps it lightly along the cut of my dress, tracing the swell of my breasts. My chest heaves as he lowers it to circle my hardened nipple through the thin material before his molten gaze flicks back to mine. I manage a swallow as he presses in, dipping his finger to trace the thin, delicate chain running along my waist. “Easton—”
“Did you like watching, Beauty?” He abruptly pulls his finger away, and I flinch at his sudden withdrawal. “Answer me, Natalie.”
“Yes and no,” I say, my eyes again dropping to his dangling buckle.
“Look at me,” he snaps. “Why?”
“Because…I don’t want him.”
“Who do you want?”
“Easton, if we do this—”