Declan looked over at Angel Oak and didn’t say anything for a moment.
“My mother,” Declan said. “Her ashes are here. We scattered them at night after the park closed. It was her request and now it’s my father’s request that he join her here. This is where he asked her to marry him.”
Charlotte teared up thinking of it.
“I can think of no better place,” Antonia said. “To begin a love and to sleep the eternal sleep with a love than right here at Angel Oak. She will guard their souls. No haints touch these grounds.”
“Haints?” Charlotte asked.
“Evil spirits,” Declan explained.
“Oh,” Charlotte said. Coincidence she could possibly deny. But evil spirits? She was a doctor. Pragmatic and mostly unbelieving in the things she couldn’t see. But both of them seemed so sure of it, so she said nothing.
“Charlotte,” Antonia continued. “I wanted to tell you something. And I hope it doesn’t upset you and I hope it’s not out of line. May I tell you?”
Charlotte looked up at Declan, “Sure. Though I’m a little nervous.”
“I was a longtime confidant to Miss Anna,” Antonia said. “I know what she done to you. I didn’t know it was you until a few years ago when Declan told me one night. But Miss Anna had told me about a terrible thing she did. And how it hurt her heart every day to know she made the wrong decision. Your mother’s death laid heavy on her soul.”
Charlotte’s tears stung her eyes. She wasn’t sure what to make of this.
“I tell her to tell someone. To tell the family, to take it upon herself to give them justice, even if it meant they hated her. Even if it meant she’d go to jail or be ostracized. But you see, she wasn’t afraid of none of that.” Antonia looked at Charlotte now. “She was afraid to leave Declan. She didn’t want to leave him for jail, or to leave him to be hurt by people’s cruel words. She didn’t want to bring him shame or make him pay for her mistake. So she didn’t tell. And instead, the guilt of it, ate her up. Miss Anna didn’t need to go to prison to pay for what she did. It ate her alive. She would beg me to help her die. Said she felt like she was being skinned alive from the inside. She wanted to trade places with your momma more than anything. She started to drink so much, take so many pills. Wanted to numb it all away, but she couldn’t.” Antonia was almost in tears now. “I don’t know why she never told me you were the daughter. I was with her the last days of her life but she never told me. And I don’t know why I am telling you this now. Maybe so it would help you to know that she suffered. Not as much as you. Not as much as your momma, God rest her soul. But Miss Anna died very broken. Very sick from what she did. Everything we do in this life catches up. She was so sorry for it. Sorrier than any of us could fathom.”
Charlotte was sobbing now. None of it made her feel better. She always assumed it would, to know the person who killed her mother had led a terrible life and would one day hopefully die a terrible death. But now that she knew, she wished she didn’t. Suffering begets suffering and none of it is worthwhile. Charlotte couldn’t hear anything else.
“I can’t…” Charlotte said. “I can’t handle this. I don’t want anyone to suffer.”
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said it,” Antonia said. “Oh, Charlotte I thought it would help!”
“It’s fine, Antonia,” Declan said. “We should go. I’ll take Charlotte home.”
They all stood, Antonia looking so panicked.
“I am so sorry,” she kept saying. “I didn’t mean to make you so sad.”
“It’s okay,” Charlotte said. “I’m just… It’s been a week of a lot of revelations. I need to go home.”
Declan walked her quickly to his car. As they pulled out of the muddy parking lot of Angel Oak Park, neither of them spoke. Not until they were off Johns Island.
“I don’t know what to say,” Declan said. “I wasn’t expecting her to say that. I just wanted you to see the tree and talk about my dad being scattered there when he eventually goes, and just have a moment away from things. But it made it worse and all I want is to make your life better.”
Charlotte stared out the window as the trees blurred by, “I’m not upset with her. Or you. I’m upset because of how much time has been wasted.”
“What do you mean?” Declan asked.
Charlotte turned to him, “We wasted ten years. Ten years we could have been together. All because of this fucked up tragedy involving our mothers. And you know what? It’s not all your fault. It’s mine too. I pushed everyone away, I never made it easy for you to come back, even if you’d wanted to. And you were scared to hurt me more. I know that now. So you made yourself miserable. Just like your mother made herself miserable. All over fear. Fuck fear.”
Declan pulled over to the side of the road, his hands shaking.