“I also know something about the person you love becoming a target for hate because you love them.”
I was already reeling, but Romeo pushed me off kilter. Never had I thought about his love story with Rimmel like that before. I guess I never really saw it from his point of view. All I ever really saw was the way they were together, how obvious it was they belonged together.
Made me feel kind of dumb for not seeing it sooner. After all, I had a front row seat to everything they’d been through.
“That was different, though.” I disagreed, even though I saw his point. What was between him and Rim was nothing like what was between me and Drew.
“Why?”
I faltered a little. “Because Zach was crazy. Like seriously mental.”
He nodded. “Yeah, he was. But hate doesn’t care. Hate can turn anyone a little mental.”
“Like Con.” I surmised.
Romeo shook his head. “I’m not talking about that pecker head.”
I grinned because that’s exactly what Con was. A little pecker head.
“I’m talking about anyone who hates on people who are gay. Who loves someone of the same sex. Those people might not be quite as unstable as Zach, but they’re just as dangerous. Anyone who uses the fact that a person loves another person as some kind of weapon or reason to be a douche bag isn’t right in the head.”
“So you get why I broke it off,” I said, thinking about what he just said. Feeling his words down to my core.
All this time I’d been so focused on telling myself it was wrong to love Drew because he was a man. It wasn’t wrong to love Drew.
What was wrong was the way some people saw that love.
As a perversion. As a twist of the devil.
“Yeah, I get it.” Romeo replied. “But you’re wrong.”
My body jerked. “What?”
Romeo sat forward, his back no longer against the headboard. His waist twisted around and one hand landed on my bare shoulder. “I’ll never turn my back on you. You’re my family. No matter what.”
That meant so much to me. More than I could probably ever put into words.
It made this even harder.
Because not only was I breaking up with Drew, but in a way, the rest of my family.
It was my worst fear.
It was the reason I hadn’t wanted to tell Drew how I felt in the first place. I had been scared I would not only lose my best friend, but my family.
When Drew validated everything I felt for him, when he basically returned my feelings, I’d been so goddamned relieved because if he had rejected me, I would have had to walk away.
Away from him.
Away from Romeo, Braeden, Rimmel and Ivy.
That’s what I had to do now.
I was the one choosing this. I was the one who didn’t live here.
I couldn’t be here, not right now anyway. I couldn’t see Drew day in and day out and not be with him the way I wanted.
I couldn’t watch him date again…
Searing pain cut through my chest. I wrapped my arms over my middle, trying to hold myself together.
There would come a time when Drew would date. A woman? Another man?
It didn’t matter.
It wouldn’t be me.
“You break anything besides the ribs?” Romeo asked, his voice concerned.
My heart. I shook my head.
“You don’t turn your back on love.” He went on without missing a beat. “Love isn’t easy, not for anyone, but you don’t push it away. You hold even tighter.”
“There’s always going to be a Zach for us,” I told him. “More than one. I’m trying to protect him. I’m trying to protect his career.”
“It’s hard to protect someone when you aren’t around.”
There was a final note to his words.
Like someone who just gave the be-all, end-all closing argument and dropped the mic.
“Maybe my absence is all the protection Drew needs,” I whispered.
“I think you know better than that,” Romeo said. “But after a night like tonight, you’re allowed to waver.”
“I’m glad I have your permission,” I said kind of surly.
My body hurt, my head hurt, and my swollen eye felt like the skin around it was stretched so tight it might burst.
“Just remember, all flags tremble in the wind, but they still keep flying.”
I thought about making a crack about how he sounded like Dr. Phil or some shit, but I couldn’t. Because in that moment, he was a voice of reason. He was like my deepest conscience speaking up after I told it to shut up too many times.
“So you really knew about us for months?” I asked, thinking of what he’d said earlier.
He grinned. “Dude, I had you guys pegged almost from day one.”
“How?” I wondered.
“The way you watched each other when you thought no one else was looking. I thought maybe you two were going to finally figure it out at Christmas. Man, the way he watched you that night with Nova sleeping on your chest,” Romeo mused. Then he seemed to snap out of the memory. “When nothing happened, I started to think maybe I was wrong.”
He’d been watching me that night at the cabin? My limbs tingled a little just hearing it. I loved knowing I affected Drew in the ways he affected me.