She lifted Tank in her arms and carried him down the steps to the beach below. She scrubbed his tiny ears and he licked the underside of her chin, his tail wagging enthusiastically. At least no one could debate she was good with dogs. Once on the shoreline, she released him and he toddled along beside her, no interest in running off.
“Me and you both, pup,” she told him. Where Asher was concerned, weren’t they both at home here in paradise?
And what was she doing here? Waiting around for…what?
A repeat of last night?
Hmm. Of course a spanking/lovemaking session on the couch would be lovely, but that wasn’t why she was here. She was here because she was guilty of what Asher’s mother accused her of: Asher was stuck in her heart.
As much as it scared the shit out of her, she could also acknowledge that Elana had said a lot of things that made a lot of sense. Glo had been failed by her parents; this she knew. But she’d also been failed by her foster parents, and that wasn’t something she’d ever fully acknowledged.
If Gloria Shields was one thing, it was accountable. She had no problem owning her mistakes. She had no problem squaring her shoulders and admitting she was wrong and toughing out whatever retribution after things went south.
But maybe…
Maybe she’d been hasty to take the blame. To shoulder the weight. And because of that tendency, she’d been too hasty to deliver it as well. She’d made a snap judgment about Asher the night she’d found Jordan at his front door. Gloria had brushed him off, determined to lick her wounds and move on. But she’d never entirely moved on, had she? Mama Knight hit that nail on the head with a sledgehammer.
Out of the boys in your past—the ones who did you wrong and a few who tried to do you right but you pushed away—Asher is the one who’s stuck.
Boys had come and gone in Gloria’s life as Elana suggested. The ones who did her wrong—a lot of those—and the one or two who tried to do her right, but Gloria had quickly pushed them away. Then there was Asher, who she’d thought had done her wrong, but he’d actually done her right.
And she’d pushed him away, too.
Glo was sitting in the sand next to Tank, stroking his clipped fur, when Tank went alert, pointed ears standing straight out, and barked a happy yip!
“I see you’re taking care of our girl,” came Asher’s voice, growing ever closer.
A tingle at her back spread across her shoulder blades. The promise of Asher too much for her body to ignore. She held her knees, arms around her legs.
“Good boy.” Ash’s hand appeared, scrubbing the dog’s face and scratching his chest. Then Asher lowered himself behind Gloria, stretched his legs out on either side of hers, and took her hands apart so he could link her fingers in his.
His heat, his presence, his smell. Everything about him was stuck in her heart. Like gum in your hair.
“Glad you stayed.” He nuzzled her ear and goose bumps spread down her arms.
“Seemed serious in there.”
“Was.”
“Did you have a breakthrough?”
“Kinda.”
She opted to let it go, but he gave her more.
“Fonz and his wife, Pam, have been married for twelve years. Together for sixteen.”
“Sixteen.” Fonz didn’t look much older than Asher. “High school sweethearts?”
“Yeah.” He spread his fingers and then squeezed her hands tighter. “She and his brother…” He sighed and Gloria didn’t make him say any more.
“Oh no.”
“Yeah. They tried to work through it. Didn’t happen. Their new baby is their baby and not his brother’s, so that’s good. But he’s got a mess on his hands.” He let out a self-deprecating chuff. “Almost as big a mess as I got on my hands.”
Gloria drew in a breath. Maybe it was the nightfall or maybe because she’d already exposed her underbelly to his mother today, but Gloria decided to open up and admit something he deserved to hear. Much as she was willing to take her lumps and admit her wrongs, she’d never done that with him. Because the fallout potential was nuclear. But no risk, no reward. So here it went.
“I never should have pushed you away,” she said.
Asher stayed silent. Probably too shocked to speak. Her heart picked up speed, but she forced herself to continue.
“I think I wanted it to be true,” she said, her voice just above a whisper. “Because if I had a good reason to walk away, then I could move on. I wouldn’t have to address the things I’d started feeling.”
“What things?” he asked, his lips brushing her ear.
“Things.” She shuddered. He let go of one of her hands to slide her hair aside. Then he placed a soft, openmouthed kiss on her neck. She drew in a breath, her skin cooling when his lips left her.
“I let you go.” He reclaimed one of her hands, brushing her thumb with his and resting his chin on her shoulder. “Thought I could move on. I was trying to get over you, too.”
“Groupies,” Gloria whispered, but her smile felt sad.
“Less than you think. As meaningless as you’d guess. You?”
“A few guys. Boring dates. Short nights.”
“Back on the horse.”