“We’ll leave and let you guys talk about things. Do you want to meet later tonight? Sabre and Latch tell me we’re staying at the club for the next few days while they try and take care of any threats. So we’ll all be here,” Annie whispers.
“That’d be good. We can meet in the game room in the basement. We’ll tell them we’re planning for my bachelorette party again. About nine tonight?” Katie says, her voice broken.
When everyone has finally gone, I sink to the floor, wrapping my arms around my legs. I refuse to give in to the tears. I’ve done too much of that. I look at Katie. I know she can see the tears gathered in my eyes because I see them in hers.
“I don’t want Skull to know.”
“Maybe if he knew…”
“It would what? Magically erase all the hateful words? The fact that I kept his child from him? The fact that he sleeps with another woman now? There’s no going back, Katie. It’s much too late.”
“You’re scared,” she says and I don’t bother denying it. “Is that why you didn’t want to push when you first got the pictures of Skull in the hospital? Are you afraid to show him, Beth?”
“You’ve seen Dr. Torres and Nicole. You saw the girl in the picture, Katie.”
“So? They can’t hold a candle to you, Beth. Besides, it wouldn’t matter, not if Skull loves you. Torch didn’t even blink at my scars. Not once.”
“He might have loved the Beth he knew, but it’s been too long. And we both know we might have the same scars on the inside, but on the outside…”
“If they bother you that much, why don’t you see a surgeon?”
“Money? Time away from Gabby? Fear? Pick a reason, any reason.”
“So we’re really going to go through with this? We’re going to kill Matthew?”
“I’m going to. For you, for me… for Gabby and…”
“Our real mother,” she whispers.
“For her,” I whisper. We just stare at each other for what seems like hours, but in reality is just minutes. Each of us lost in our own thoughts and what might have been… if things had only been different.
If only…
Tortured. Worse than rape. Nightmares.
I’m slamming my fist into the meat slab that hangs from the hook suspended from the ceiling. I’m zoned out, completely in my own head as Torch’s words play over and over. I want to march into Beth’s room and demand that she tell me exactly what the fuck went on while she was gone. Doing that feels like being weak. It feels like opening myself up to the woman who turned her back on me.
Everything Torch said was valid. I can’t even deny it. I’m left in the end with the same question I always have. The same question I always come back to.
Why couldn’t she choose me?
It’s selfish and, in her position, I most likely would have chosen the same path… except I would have come back to her. Nothing would have stopped me from finding my way back. Especially photos or some damned recording.
“Let me die,” a fading voice pleads, pulling me out of my head. I look up and see Pistol and even I wince. Joder. I may have gone too far this time. I may not have a choice but to grant him his wish.
“I’ll call the doctor to come knock you out,” I mumble. It’s more than he fucking deserves. I’ll have her give enough to make sure he doesn’t wake up again.
“I have…a…sis…sister,” he manages to say. I stop. Does he think he’ll gain sympathy from me after all of his betrayals?
“Why do I care? You took from me the thing that is most important above all. You planned to…”
“I know… things.”
“Anything you know, I will discover eventually.”
“About...”
“You’re dead. Nothing you tell me will save you,” I respond, just to make sure he knows I’m not playing his damn game.
“Not asking for that,” he tells me, surprising clear. His swollen eyes start to shut and I know he’s fading. That can’t happen. I walk over to the wall by the entrance and flip a button. The chain and hook slowly lower and, inch by inch, the body descends.