Trying to make it look like I wasn’t running away from him completely, I went back to the vestai and his wife, and within a moment made my excuses. I shook my hands, my traitorous hands, going to the far side of the platform. The vestai’s wife had shown us a cave that morning, and I went there, thinking that if I ran into Galen on the way to my room, I would—I would—I didn’t know.
I couldn’t possibly find out.
The cave was sharply colder, lit by a few torches. I took a deep breath for the first time since my dance with Galen began. I stared at the walls; I had wanted to come back here because it reminded me so much of Jitra, and I found myself running my fingers over the walls, trying to draw on my family to calm my racing heart, my traitorous mind.
“Shalia,” Galen called, and I shut my eyes, not turning around.
“You shouldn’t have followed me,” I whispered.
“I know,” he said, and it was so low it was nearly a growl.
I turned around and felt my power rush around my hands. He was so handsome, and the way he looked at me—no one had ever looked at me like that. Made me feel the things he could. “Why did you?” I breathed. “Why did you come here at all?”
“I lied before,” he said. His throat worked. “It’s not that I’m not good at caring about people. I care so damn much I feel like I’m going to snap in half. People are no good at caring about me,” he said. “Except you.”
Heat flooded through me, and I stepped closer to him. Taller than his brother, taller than me, he was the perfect height for me to tilt my mouth up to him.
And I did. I didn’t think, I just moved, closing the gap between us. For a second we hovered close, and I felt heat radiating out from his mouth, brushing over mine and making me shiver with want. Our lips touched, and my heart felt like it burst in my chest.
His mouth covered me, his lips damp as they slid over mine, matching and twisting until it felt like something was sealed between the two of us. His tongue touched mine, and lightning burst through my body, making my limbs jerk against him. My hands crawled over his chest, touching and feeling, memorizing.
He made a sound into my mouth, his arms clasping around my lower back, pulling me up and against him in a way that felt like it revealed what we were meant for. Every bit of his body that was against mine was like a thunderstorm, hot and damp and sparking. His arms unclasped to touch me, his hands running along my sides that suddenly felt so sensitive and ticklish that I was twisting against him, holding on to his shoulders like an anchor.
His hands came up to span my shoulders, holding me strong and close, and he broke our kiss, his mouth dropping to my neck.
I gasped, fisting my hands in his uniform jacket. I heard him chuckle as he kissed me again, right along the pulse in my throat.
“I don’t—” I whimpered.
He stopped, pulling back. “Don’t what?” he panted.
“Don’t know how—is it supposed to feel like this?” I asked.
“Does it feel good?” he asked.
I nodded, pressing my face against his head. He kissed my neck again, and warmth jolted through my skin.
“Then yes,” he told me. His arms changed, coming around me gently and rubbing like he was hugging me, really holding me as he kissed my neck.
I dug my fingers into his hair, and he leaned up, kissing me again. He shuffled back until he was against the wall, holding me tight against him, and his tongue dipped deeply into my mouth. When Calix did that, it always felt like an attack, but this was different. Shyly, I pushed my tongue forward along his, and he groaned.
A powerful shiver ran through me at the noise he made.
My hands moved, eager to touch him, pushing off his jacket and feeling the heat of his skin rising through his shirt. He tugged my coat off one shoulder, and instead of cold, my bare skin felt electric and alive.
I pushed at his shirt, wanting his skin, wanting to make him feel as uncontained as he made me feel. My coat dropped off me as I found his hem, sliding my hands underneath, up along his chest.
He shivered as our mouths broke apart. He blinked, looking at my face, stroking my hair back. “You’re so beautiful,” he breathed over my lips.
Feeling dizzy, I pushed his shirt up higher, pressing a kiss to the bare skin over his heart. I looked up at him, and his hands went tighter on me. “You’re—” I started, but something bright caught my eye.
Turning, I gasped, shrinking back from him.
The cave had changed. Crystals were jutting out of the walls, bright and glittering; one torch was now fused to the wall, covered over by square purple rocks.
The torchlight twisted and moved, and new colors caught my eye. There was a swirl of blue veins dancing over glittering white quartz, a line of jagged, angular dark charcoal spikes. The floor was covered over with green, crystals that were as lush and vibrant as the color of his eyes. It was everywhere, like a physical manifestation of how much he made me feel.
Embarrassed and frightened, I covered my mouth, trembling. I looked at Galen, and he was taking it all in.
“Shalia,” he said, his chest still heaving for breath. His hands balled into fists as he looked at me. “Oh, God, Shalia.”
“I can … explain,” I breathed.
“No,” he said, shaking his head. “No, you cannot explain this. Do you understand? You can’t say the words that would explain this. Not to me, not to anyone.”
I just stared at him.
“Not to anyone!” he roared. He turned and started kicking a crystal, chipping bits of it off, then snapping it, leaving rough, broken shards.
“Stop!” I cried, not daring to step toward him. “You’ll hurt yourself!”
He wheeled around. “Me? Me? Shalia,” he said, his voice softening. He came back to me, and I gasped, but his hands slid over my neck, cupping my face. “Shalia, if Calix ever finds this out—”
I nodded, the feel of his hands on me making calm and warmth rush through me. “I know.”
“You don’t,” he insisted. “Do you have any idea what we found when we went into the Summer Palace?” I pulled out of his grasp, but he didn’t stop, eager to torment me with his words. “I found bodies of—” Galen halted, swallowing, his jaw tense. “He made a device to transfer blood into another living thing, and he tried it on animals, birds. Humans. A girl. Until she ran out. Until she had no more blood left. He’s the one who devised these tortures.”
I was shaking, hard enough that a crystal I was leaning against cut my arm. “Don’t tell me these things,” I whimpered.
He came closer to me and touched my cheek. “Shalia, you have to leave. You have to run. He won’t just kill you. He’ll torture you, and then he’ll use your death to make a point. You have to go.”
“I can’t,” I whispered. “I will not just run away.”
His forehead touched mine, so lightly. “Please.”
“I can’t!” I snapped at him, pulling away. “You know I can’t. He will come after my family. He will break peace with the desert.”
“Let him!” Galen cried. “They can fight for themselves! They have before!”
“I’m having his child!” I yelled. “If I run, he would never just let me go. Never. He would hunt me, and find me, and punish everyone involved, including the whole of the desert. And I will not see my family die in the process.”