His thumb pushed over my fingers. “Hmm,” he said, looking forward. “This worked well, but the more ideas you have, the more I will think you are displeased with my reign.”
And there it was, the reproach I had been waiting for since the day began. I walked along the edge of a knife with him, balancing between being a queen and a traitor.
I squeezed his hand. “Never, my king.”
But no matter what he said, my actions at the mill were real. I was helping, and changing things for the fate of our people. This was the road to peace, without bloodshed or death. And his words could not chase that from my heart.
That night, I woke with a gasp to darkness. “Enter,” Calix called, and I twisted, realizing it was still night, and there must be someone at the door.
A jarring flare of light burst into the room as a guard entered our chamber with a torch in hand. I scrambled to cover myself, and Calix snarled, “Turn away!” to the offending guard.
The man spun before he could even take a full breath, and Calix moved from the bed, finding my coat and handing it to me. I slid into it, clutching it closed. “What is going on?” I asked him.
“Report,” Calix snapped, scowling as he found his own clothing.
“The quaesitori sent urgent word for you, my king,” the guard said.
“Bring it to me,” he said, and the guard came closer, holding out a folded page.
Calix took it, opening it and reading the contents while the guard stood there.
“Guards!” Calix shouted. Theron appeared in the doorway, bowing, awaiting orders. “Make ready to leave within the hour. Notify my council as well.” Calix glanced at me, and then at the guard with the torch. “And gouge out his eyes.”
“My—my king!” he pleaded. I looked to Calix, confused. Surely—Calix couldn’t mean—
“Be grateful I don’t demand your life for defiling the queen,” Calix said. “You are dismissed.”
The guard ran out of the room, and Theron grimly watched him go before leaving as well, closing the door.
“Calix,” I begged, getting out of bed. “Calix, please, you cannot take that man’s eyes. I am not defiled. He didn’t harm me in any way.”
My coat had parted, and he stopped and stared at me, and the narrow piece of flesh exposed by the gap. He shook his head slowly. “No man could see you in such a state and not covet you, my love. It was a mistake not to kill him—but you make me lenient.”
“But you called him into the room!”
Calix’s eyes narrowed. “And did I also tell him to stare upon your naked body? No. You would have him stare at you? Wasn’t it you who said that a desert man would never let another covet his wife?” He stepped closer to me, sliding his hands under the coat. “You cannot question me like this, Shalia. I am your king. And though I am pleased you waited until we were alone to do it, it needs to stop. Do you understand me?”
I shivered, casting my eyes down from his hard gaze. “Where are you going?” I asked.
“South,” he said, drawing away from me and pulling his clothing on. “My quaesitori believe they have a breakthrough.”
“What do you mean?”
“They think they can re-create the elixir,” he told me. “I must go see the results immediately.”
My heart jumped. “I will come with you.”
“No,” he said sternly.
“Calix,” I insisted. “You have trusted me with this from the beginning. Why would you not do so now?”
“It is gruesome work,” he told me, his eyes narrowing.
I came closer to him. “My place is by your side,” I said.
His hands caught me, pulling me to him. “What of the mills?” he asked.
“The mills will run in my absence. I will have Adria see it done.”
His mouth was hard, but he nodded. “Very well.”
In less than an hour and well before the light of day, we were led through the halls of the castle, coming out into the cool dark of the courtyard.
“What is the meaning of this?” Calix grunted.
I peered around him to see Kairos on the walkway, turning to smile at us. “Good morning.”
“What are you doing here?”
He shrugged. “Seemed like an excellent time for a walk. Where are you two off to?”
“The south,” I said, and Calix squeezed my hand hard.
“It’s business of state,” Calix snapped. “You can either remain here or return to the desert, but you cannot accompany us.”
Kairos grinned. “Surely if it’s safe enough for my sister, it’s safe enough for me.”
“Kairos,” I said, stepping in front of my husband and meeting Kairos’s eyes. “The king said you cannot come.”
His eyes searched my face. “Very well,” he said. “Watch the skies, little sister.”
He kissed my cheek, sliding past me. I watched him go before Calix hurried me along, and it took several long minutes to realize that Osmost was not on his shoulder.
“Did you tell him we were leaving?” Calix demanded.
“No,” I said, turning to my husband.
“Your brother is outlasting his welcome,” he told me gruffly. He brought me to the carriage that was waiting for us and offered his hand to help me inside.
I sat on one cushioned bench, and a moment later he sat beside me in the darkness, his arm sliding around my tense shoulders. I sat forward, and his arm fell away from me.
“Wife?” he asked.
“It means a great deal to me that Kairos is here. You know that. You don’t need to threaten him.”
He shifted a little. “I did not threaten him.”
“ ‘Outlasting his welcome’?” I repeated. “You—you just gouged out the eyes of a man for less.”
“I’m sure his eyes haven’t been gouged out just yet.”
I shook my head, though it was dark enough that he couldn’t see. “I cannot watch you be so casually cruel with an easy heart, Calix. I can’t.”
There was a long silence in which I could feel my heart beating, the risk of displeasing my husband rushing in my veins.
Then he sighed heavily. “He can stay a little longer,” he allowed. I felt his hand cover my stomach, his touch possessive, caging me. “After all, hopefully he will be an uncle soon enough.” His lips brushed over my temple, his body curling around me. “I’m not cruel, Shalia.”
“You terrorize people,” I whispered to him.
“Sometimes I have to,” he said. “A ruler cannot be emotional about life—every day I have to choose a path that will save the most lives. But I will never be able to save every life. It is a terrible burden.” He was silent a long while. “Is this just about the guard, Shalia?”
“Who did maiming that guard protect?” I asked, avoiding his question, certain I did not want to confront him about his past and what I knew here, in such an enclosed space.
“Him,” Calix said. “I was protecting his life. Every time he glanced at you, I would see it in his eyes—his memory, his desire. And before long, he would force my hand. Men are animals of nature, my love. I could see his heart like I see my own.”