And despite his own shortcomings, Niklaus had made it a point to hang around a little more, make sure the baby—or Lauren since she had been pregnant at the time—had everything she could have possibly needed.
But the night she gave birth, as he’d sat out and waited, he hadn’t expected what the sight of Sacha would do to him.
Niklaus didn’t mean to care, but the moment he saw him, with the soft blue blanket wrapped around his tiny body, tucked securely in his father’s arms, he felt something other than hatred and anger and frustration and the rest of the roiling emotions that constantly churned inside of him.
And the very idea that the tiny little human that had yet to open his eyes—and had looked exactly like him since he was a carbon copy of his father—was another piece of his family had scared the shit out of him.
He wanted a family.
He wanted to be free of the burdens that had always sat heavy on his shoulders, but he didn’t know how. For so long, the only thing he had ever wanted was vengeance, feeding a vendetta that had already been fulfilled, but even after it had, Niklaus hadn’t known what to do with himself.
He hadn’t known who he was anymore.
And he’d been afraid with everything right there in front of him: his work, the fortune he’d amassed, and most importantly, the family that stood at his back no matter his attitude, he’d been afraid that he was going to fuck that up as well.
After all, it had been because of him that he’d lost someone he loved.
So he did the one thing he could do.
He walked away.
To clear his head. To get his shit together.
And when he finally had a clear conscious, finally letting the past go and making his peace with it, he’d thought of Reagan. Of the way she smiled at him when he hadn’t done anything to deserve it.
Of the way that though he had been no more than a stranger to her those nights when he took her to his bed, she had calmed a piece of him no one else had been able to.
Yeah, he loved Lauren and Sacha and Alex, even Luka and Mishca though those two infuriated him, but it was ultimately his memories of Reagan that had drawn him back to New York City.
Finishing the job for the Kingmaker had only been his excuse.
The problem was, he had left without a word to anyone, and he doubted Lauren of all people would be okay with that.
So by the time the elevator stopped with a ping, the doors sliding open revealing the entryway, Niklaus had braced himself, an apology at the ready.
Stepping inside, he started forward, his eyes darting around the space for anything that was different. Beside a few new pieces of art and a shift of furniture, the apartment was how it had been.
Niklaus was just turning the corner when something barreled into his legs, making him stumble back a step as his gaze shot down.
Brown, almost hazel, eyes stared back up at him, and for a spell, there was surprise, like he too was unsure of what he was seeing. Then, in wide-eyed wonder, he smiled up at him.
Never had the sound of his own name made his heart seize. Reaching down, he scooped him up, propping him up on his side. “How’s my favorite nephew?”
Sacha smiled almost bashfully, wrapping his arms around Niklaus neck as far as his little arms would allow. As Niklaus hugged him back, he realized almost belatedly that they weren’t alone.
Lauren was sitting cross-legged on the couch, a textbook in her lap with an assortment of notes and papers surrounding her. She’d been in the middle of homework or studying, but now her eyes were on Niklaus, a smile curling her lips as she took them both in.
“Mommy!” Sacha said in an adorably high voice, then he touched Niklaus’ face with a sticky hand.
“I see him,” she returned, using a voice most reserved for children. “Klaus, I wasn’t expecting you.”
“I’m around,” he said by way of answer, looking to Sacha when the little boy turned his face to get his attention back. He might not have been speaking yet, but he was definitely able to get his point across as he pointed back to his mother with a look on his face that told Niklaus that was where he wanted to go.
He crossed the short distance, dropping down into one of the two stuffed arm chairs, not wanting to mess up whatever organized chaos Lauren had going on around her.
Sacha pushed out of his arms, making his way over to Lauren who handed him a plastic car that Niklaus hadn’t noticed. As soon as he had it in his tiny little fist, Sacha came right on back, lifting his arms in the air, fully expecting Niklaus to pick him up.
How could he turn that down?
When Sacha was back settled in his lap, and content for the moment, Niklaus gave his attention back to Lauren. “How’s it been?”
“Over the last year?” Lauren asked with a raise of her brow.
If her earlier tone hadn’t told him, the way she was looking at him now definitely did. “You’re upset.”
“I wouldn’t say upset. You left without even saying anything. I didn’t think we were the best of friends, Klaus, but I thought I at least warranted a goodbye.”