She lifted a bite of eggs to her mouth, but then stopped and set it down. “Maybe you should pause on the breeders. Focus on getting this place ready.”
“Why? I have to know when some are going to be available so I can be ready for them by that time. I suppose I could just pick up some more misfits like Mystery, but I’m not sure how I’d go about doing that.”
“Speaking as your consultant, I don’t think it’s a good idea to bring more animals in until you’re more certain of your future. If you’re going back to play in the fall, there isn’t much sense in—”
“I’m not going to back out or screw up. I may not be good at a lot of things, but the things I can do, I don’t stop until…” Until you fuck up two of the biggest games of a hockey player’s life and are forced to stop. Forced to try out. Forced to…
“Dan.”
A warm, calloused hand slid over the top of his, which he hadn’t realized he’d been clenching into a fist.
“Listen, this isn’t about your ability to do something,” she said. “This is about the fact that it doesn’t make sense to grow a herd if you’re going to try to get back into hockey. I mean, how long is a season?”
He took a deep breath at the tightness in his chest. The pressure. The little voice in his head telling him this was a dumb plan that wouldn’t erase the real problem. “Start reporting in August, but the season can last until April.” If they got to the playoffs, it would be longer.
“It doesn’t make any sense to add animals if you won’t be here.”
He hated that gentle note in her voice, as if she were trying to break bad news to a small child. As if he was a small child, too stupid and foolish to understand what he was trying to do. Like Mom, like everyone, thinking this was some dumb thing he was doing to while his time away. “I’ll hire a caretaker.”
“But…why?”
“Because I’m building something. Like I told you before. I’m building something here because I need something important, and this is going to be it. If my career isn’t over, it doesn’t matter. I’m building a place to come back to. And if I can’t get back into hockey”—he paused to make sure his voice didn’t shake, the pain and fear didn’t show—“then I’ve built something for the now.”
Mel didn’t say anything to that. She went back to eating, and so did he. He couldn’t control getting back into the show. That was Scott’s domain.
But this ranch, this plan, that was Dan’s, and he wouldn’t let anyone put any doubts in his head.
Even his own.
Chapter 15
Things had gotten tense, and despite her early morning arrival, there had been none of the promised sex. Which Mel was not disappointed over. Because she was a camel when it came to sex. She didn’t need it. She could last for years on yesterday. Years.
So what was the whole itchy, achy, wanty feeling going on in her general…nether regions?
Maybe she had the mountain crazies.
They had worked, repairing parts of the stables, running to town to get Dan a hose and have lunch. A lunch where Dan had insisted on sitting at the counter and spending all his time chatting with Georgia and making goofy faces at the Lane girl, who’d been in a booth with her grandpa. Cheerful and chatty…with everyone but her.
Not a meaningful look or conversation for her all day. Flirting, yes, but that light, blank kind that she was pretty sure he’d throw at anyone with the right kind of anatomy.
And certainly none of the “breaks” she had been kind of hoping for.
Now it was her usual quitting time, and she didn’t at all know what came next. They’d washed up, were standing next to the llama pen, and…what was she supposed to do?
She wasn’t angry at him, and even with his blankness, she didn’t think he was angry at her. He was lost in his personal stuff, and she had plenty of her own personal stuff to be lost in, but quite honestly, she’d rather be lost in Dan.
But how did she initiate that?
Maybe stop being a wimp.
She frowned. She wasn’t being a wimp. She was being cautious and sensible and—
Wimp, wimp, wimp.
“Um, hey, if you didn’t have anything planned, I could, um, do a cooking lesson for you tonight.” She cringed at how stupid she sounded, like a teenage girl desperate to spend a little time with him. I’ll do your homework for you.
Which made her think of Tyler and how sweet he’d been and how she’d used that to get what she wanted and—
“No need to rush home?”
She looked over at him, standing next to that llama, both of them staring at her. Blankly. Giving nothing away. Ever since that weird moment at breakfast, where he’d been so…angry? Sad? Some mixture of the two. Because I’m building something.
Yes, actually, she should go home and make sure Caleb wasn’t drinking himself to death, and Dad was okay, and check her email for responses from potential nurses, but she didn’t want to do any of those things.