I shrugged.
“Never thought he’d actually do it,” I admitted. “When he asked me to come over and check out his place, I was stunned. It’s totally childproofed. He’s even got a toddler bed for her, and he bought all her favorite foods. Loni’s scheduled to be on call if he needs help, and of course I’ll be watching my phone. Izzy’s all excited about it—we packed a whole suitcase full of stuffed animals to take to Daddy’s house.”
“Wow,” she said. “Didn’t see that coming.”
I watched as Painter pulled Isabella up onto the bike with him, letting her pretend to drive it. God, she looked more like him every day—that white-blonde hair of hers shined in the sun like a beacon, and if anything the blue of her eyes had gotten brighter. Not only that, she loved to finger-paint. Okay, all kids that age love to finger-paint, but even the preschool teacher at her daycare said she showed signs of talent. Wasn’t sure how I felt about that.
“Relax,” Loni said, wrapping an arm around my shoulder and giving me a hug. “It’s just a party and a sleepover. He’ll do fine.”
“That’s what scares me,” I admitted. “What if she likes him better than me? All he ever does is fun stuff with her. I’m the one stuck doing the real work and telling her no. At this rate she’ll hate me by the time she’s twelve, and then he’ll get married someday and she’ll want to go live with him and her new stepmom and I’ll be all alone and—”
“Mel!” Jess said, snapping her fingers in front of my face. I looked at her. “Pack up the crazy, babe. She’s only two.”
I blinked at her.
Shit, she was right. You’re losing it.
“I have a date tonight,” I admitted. “I’m a little freaked out by that, too . . .”
“A date?” Loni asked, staring at me. “Seriously?”
“Hey, it’s not that weird,” I said, frowning. “I date.”
“Twice,” Jessica said. “You’ve gone out twice since Izzy was born, and both times you cut it short to come home and check on her. It’s unhealthy—you deserve a life. And Painter should take on some of the responsibility. She’s his kid, too.”
In the distance, I heard Izzy screaming excitedly as Painter swung her up and onto his shoulders. Then he and Reese started across the grass toward us, laughing and talking along the way. Reese had been great, I had to admit. He and his daughters had welcomed me into the fold like one of their own, so much that I had to work hard to keep my distance or I would’ve gotten sucked into the Reapers’ extended family.
It wouldn’t have been all bad, I knew that . . . The girls had offered to babysit for me time and again, and I knew they meant well. But every time I saw the Reapers colors, I thought about Painter missing Isabella’s birth. About the endless nights sitting up with her in the NICU, still recovering from surgery. Then we finally made it home, and I’d spent weeks alone in the dark, holding her, terrified to sleep because the only thing standing between my baby and death was an electronic monitor that was supposed to go off if she stopped breathing.
I didn’t trust that monitor.
Not after the night I woke up needing to pee, only to find Izzy had turned blue from lack of oxygen. Fucking machine was useless. I’d never been so alone or afraid in my life, and it felt like forever before she grew out of it. Rebuilding my life hadn’t been easy, but I’d gotten there. Mostly. Eventually I made new friends. I wasn’t the only single mom in the nursing program at the college. Having Izzy had delayed my education some, but I’d done pretty well on my own.
Better than well, actually.