Luka cleared his throat. “You were the prototype for the drug you have been on. Your memories are still within you, but it will take you time to get them all back.”
“You know this?” I asked, my eyes noticing the many scars on his flesh.
“I’m living it,” he replied, “and I was not on the same drug as you. Your drug was far worse, much more powerful.”
My fingers clenched. My teeth started to grind at that information, but I nodded my head for Luka to continue.
“You had a large family, Zaal. Two sisters and two brothers. You were the eldest, with your twin. You had a sister who was five, and a younger set of siblings, a baby girl and a baby boy.”
I worked on breathing, though it was a challenge. “Go on,” I pushed.
Luka continued. “Jakhua was a family friend, the boss of an allied Mafia family. Then one day, he came into your house…” Luka took a deep breath. My stomach tightened. I felt I should know this. I knew this piece of information was important.
“Go on!” I bit out. Luka’s brown eyes met mine.
“And he killed them all. Massacred your family, right in front of your eyes.”
Talia went absolutely still and turned her face into my neck. I breathed in and out, in and out. No memory returned, but anger did. Anger for what Jakhua had done. For taking away my family.
“He spared your lives, Zaal. Took you and your twin, Anri, with him to experiment on. He put you through test after test to see if the drug worked. Eventually after a few years, with you, it worked one hundred percent.” He left that hanging in the air.
“And him, my brother?” I inquired.
“Only partially. He would forget things for a time, but the drug never lasted long enough to take all his free will. Jakhua needed subjects with full obedience. He knew your brother wouldn’t give him that. So he sent him to the gulag, where I met him a few years later.”
My muscles ached and I felt exhausted. I clutched on to Talia, praying for a memory, any flicker of my past. But I was numb. Nothing was there in my fucked-up mind.
Talia, feeling me tense, stroked my skin, pressing kisses to my neck.
“And my … my brother?” I asked. The room went completely silent. Luka dropped his head, ran his hand through his hair. He looked up and rasped, “He died recently. Died in a death-match cage. In a fight.”
My chest squeezed. My cheek twitched. I waited for the pain of losing a sibling, but nothing came. It was like my brain had switched off.
The female beside Luka laid her head on his shoulder, whispering in his ear. Luka turned into her touch and she kissed him on his cheek. Luka’s tired eyes met mine and I said, “You were there.”
Luka nodded his head. “I made him a promise that I would seek revenge on his captors. We found out it was Jakhua, then we found out about you. I freed you because that is what Anri would have done if roles were reversed.” Luka’s eyes blazed with a sudden flare of fury. “And next I’ll kill Jakhua. I’ll get your brother his ultimate revenge.”
I sat, staring at Luka. His female’s eyes were glistening as she watched me. I glanced down. Talia was curled against my chest, but her beautiful big eyes were studying me carefully. It was like she was waiting for me to break.
I lowered my head at the female who was keeping me whole. I pressed a kiss to her head. “Are you okay, zolotse?” she whispered brokenly.
I nodded without words. All three of them were staring at me like I should react. Truth was, I didn’t feel anything. I had a list of events that had happened in my life, but it didn’t feel like my life. I felt like Zaal and Anri were strangers to me.
I was still 221.
I wasn’t Zaal.
Talia sat up further, but I couldn’t meet her eyes. “Zaal?” she asked again, but my eyes drifted to the staircase leading to the bedroom I’d been sharing with Talia. There I was happy. I had her and she had me.
Here, I was lost, numb. I didn’t know who I was meant to be. I didn’t know the family I used to have.
Talia made me someone. I was her Zaal.