Smiling wide, Kisa linked her arm through mine and she guided me to a cluster of rocks, hunkering us down behind their shelter to escape the severe bite of the wind.
Without breaking her hold on my arm, she passed me the sealed bottle of Grey Goose and watched with amusement as I cracked it open and took a long heavy swig. My chest burned as the alcohol ran down my throat, and all the air fled my lungs at the vodka’s strong taste.
After a few more long sips, I immediately felt more relaxed. Screwing the cap back on, I tipped my head back to the full starry sky and sighed. “That feels better,” I said quietly. And it did. Away from the presence of 221 I could breathe, I could think more rationally.
Kisa’s arm tightened in mine. Her beautiful face turned my way, and she asked, “What’s going on, Tal?”
My eyes were fixed on the crashing of the waves, when 221’s beautifully stern face entered my head. I dropped my gaze, frustrated with myself when my stomach flipped and filled with butterflies.
“Tal? You’re scaring me now. What’s wrong?”
“I just needed to get away.”
Kisa was too quiet in reply. I met her gaze to find her frowning. “But you went to the Hamptons to get away from everything here. To disconnect from Brooklyn for a while. Now you need to get away from the Hamptons, too? I don’t understand.”
“I know,” I replied quietly, “I’m ridiculous.”
Kisa’s gloved hand found mine and squeezed my fingers. “You’re not ridiculous. But what’s happened to make you need to leave?”
My free hand sunk into the cold sand beside me and I filtered the grains though my fingers like a sieve. I wanted to tell someone.
“Talia, please. You’ve never hidden anything from me before. I know you. I can tell something is on your mind.” Kisa’s blue eyes searched mine, then she added, “Just because I’m married to Luka doesn’t take away my loyalty to you.”
I threw Kisa a watery, grateful smile. Kisa nudged her head in my direction urging me to divulge. Unscrewing the Grey Goose, I drank another few sips, and whispered, “It’s 221. I needed to get away from 221.”
Kisa tensed and sorry spread over her face. “Shit, Talia. I didn’t even think.”
I nodded my head then took another drink. I gripped the neck of the bottle and the laugh that tore through me was humorless. “He’s haunting me, Kisa. I can’t believe Luka brought him to the country house where I was staying. I just never expected to feel this strongly toward him. He’s all I can think about. He’s all I can concentrate on.” My hand subconsciously lifted to run over the “Tolstoi” engraving on my favorite gold necklace.
My heart raced as Kisa said nothing. Finally, I turned to my best friend to see her watching me sympathetically. “I never even thought how hard it would be for you having him there.” My eyebrows pulled down and Kisa squeezed my hand. “Of course you don’t want him there. After all the family history, of course you don’t.”
I opened my mouth to tell her she’d misunderstood me, but Kisa looked out over the sea, lost in her own thoughts. “It’s Luka, Tal. He’s got a one-track mind over saving that guy. It wouldn’t have even occurred to him that you’d detest the very sight of him. That it was disturbing your life to this extent.”
Even surrounded by the freezing cold wind, my cheeks filled with heat. Kisa had it wrong. So wrong.
I opened my mouth to explain that when Kisa laid her head on my shoulder. “I’m sorry you’re getting dragged into all this revenge business of your brother’s, Tal. But … but Luka needs it. He needs to help 221 more than you can understand, despite how offensive that is to your family. It’s healing him.”
Kisa’s sad voice drifted on the wind to my ears and I stopped what I was about to say.
This fascination, I would have to keep to myself. With a final sigh, I laid my head on top of Kisa’s. I was lost. Alone and lost.
“Tal?” Kisa asked moments later.
“Yeah?”