"Pulling your weapon on a cop is insanity," she tells me.
"I wouldn't have pulled it completely," I say, leaning against the doorjamb. "Or at least, I wouldn't have pulled the trigger. You worry too much."
"Aggressive men like you behave poorly when falling in love. They become territorial beasts. I don't approve of this stupidity, but here we are."
"I'm not in love or a beast."
"You have lost perspective. A professional would remove himself from this situation."
"You're pissing me off, Saskia."
"I understand your anger. I've felt the way since we arrived at the aquarium."
"Are we done?"
"If you push her too hard, Darla will break. No one is indestructible. How sad will it be for her to survive Locke, yet lose herself because of you?"
"Now you're really pissing me off."
"Delicate princess, are you?"
Saskia opens the door, and I rush into the room. I don't know why I'm so afraid except Darla is mine. If she's not safe, I can't survive knowing I let her down.
Tired and depressed, Darla looks up at me and forces a smile. She lies for my ego's sake, but I'm not fooled. The darkness seduces Darla with promises of a reprieve from the pain and fear. What can I offer in exchange for remaining in the light with me?
28
~~~
Darla
Embracing My Freedom
Saskia is pissed at Troy. I am too, but for an entirely different reason. She cares about the big picture while I care about Troy pretending we can ever have anything real. He's jealous like a normal man is jealous with his normal woman. Am I his woman though? Can I belong to anyone ever again? Even myself? Will Locke own me until the day I die?
Sitting on the couch, I give myself a pep talk. I only ran from Mister Pain less than two months ago, meaning I have every right to be weird. I'm not the problem. Troy's unfair expectations are the problem. I'm not strong like Minka or hard like Saskia. I'm me, and I need more time than Troy seems willing to give me.
"You were jealous," I mutter, as he sits nearby.
"It happens."
"I don't get jealous of you and Minka."
"Because you're a very mature person."
"I am confused about you and her but never jealous."
"Confused about what?"
"She and I are nothing alike. You clearly don't have a type, but I can't see how you wanted her, and now you want me."
"You and Minka are both beautiful and strong."
"I'm not strong like her."
"You're seeing the superficial things. Inside, you're both strong."
Frowning, I clasp my hands tightly. "Minka said she dumped you. Do you miss her?"
"How can I miss her when I see her nearly every day?"
"You know what I mean."
His blue eyes amused, Troy scoots closer. "No, I don't miss her. We weren't in love. I care for her like a sister. I know that sounds bizarre since we were lovers. She's my closest friend, but that doesn't mean I was ever in love with her."
"Then why did she dump you instead of you dumping her?"
"Let me ask you something. Does Minka seem like the kind of woman a man dumps if he wants to remain in one piece?"
"You're scared of her?"
"Of course. She's mean. Oh, and she cheats in fights."
Troy is teasing me, but I refuse to smile. "It kinda seems like you wanted Minka because she was right there. Now you want me for the same reason. You pick women out of convenience."
"Huh? Interesting. Why do you like me then? Aren't I the only single man you've encountered since escaping Locke?"
"For your information, I would have thought you were handsome no matter how we met. You are exactly my type. I like big blond jerks with sexy smiles."
Standing up, a smiling Troy holds his arms out. "Anything else you like about me?" he asks, turning around and wiggling his ass for effect.
I refuse to smile at his display. "I like how you can be gentle. You're funny too. I like the way you look at me, and you make great omelets."
Troy grins at my answer.
"Then again, maybe I'm assuming too much about this situation. Everything we feel is convenience and coincidence. In fact, I bet my therapist would say I only want you because you represent safety. None of it's real."
"If your therapist thinks that shit, I guess it's a good thing we didn't see her," Troy says, kneeling down in front of me. He takes my hands and kisses the palms. "Coincidence and convenience are how everyone gets together, Darla. Manny met his wife at a wedding. Rafael met his wife during a run through the woods. Tia met her girlfriend while working in the same office. My parents met in high school. People can only date the people they meet. We met, and I felt a connection. You did too. Stop analyzing things until they become meaningless. That's your shrink's job."
I cross my arms, pushing up my tits. Realizing I don't want him looking at my body, I uncross my arms.
"I feel restless."
"You need to relax," he says, gripping my hips before running his fingers down my thighs.
"A pill would help me relax."