Frowning, I say nothing while wrapping myself tighter in the sweats.
"I knew a German government agent who sold info. She hated femininity. I don't know why since we weren't friends. Anyway, she always wore shirts with long sleeves and high collars. Only her face and hands were ever bare. She didn't wear baggy, uncomfortable clothes like you but kept herself covered."
Remaining silent, I study Minka's tight tank top and black jeans. Her skin is golden like Troy's. Minka notices my gaze on her.
"I like dressing this way, but I wear whatever fits for the job. I'm sexy when I need to flash skin as a distraction. I'm covered up when I need to blend in. I ugly up shockingly easy," she says, giving me a wink. "People are blind to those they don't find physically attractive. That's why I'm always suspicious of mousy women and nerdy men. I've played that con too many times as a way to gain access to a location."
I open my mouth to speak then change my mind. Minka doesn't miss a beat.
"You should have seen Troy dressed up as an IT nerd. Or him as an old man. He had a stupid limp that kept changing legs. I finally had to kick him, so he'd remember which leg was supposed to be the bad one."
Smiling, I glance back at the room where I know Troy is working. "Have you worked together a lot?"
"He's been my partner for years. We tried the lover thing, but he's a better friend than boyfriend material."
Minka's words are like a punch to the gut. I stare at my hands, feeling as if something important has been ripped from me.
I'm not dumb enough to think Troy is a virgin. Common sense tells me that plenty of beautiful women have shared his bed. Yet I don't want to see them. I also never want to imagine them to be like the confident and powerful Minka, who is everything I'm not.
"Why didn't it work out between you and Troy?" I ask, deciding to throw salt on my wound.
Minka frowns, having moved to another subject and seeming confused about how we got back to her old fuck buddy.
"What works on paper doesn't work in reality," she says. When I only stare at her, she sighs. "We lacked passion. Maybe other people can love without passion, but I want to crave the man I'm with. I need the crazy heat I had when I fell in love as a teenager. Sure, that was all hormones, but I still want to fall in love with a man. Not just hook up with my best friend because we're bored. I'm selfish that way."
"Did you find someone else?"
"Not yet. Troy was happy to be bored. He has very low standards in life. I wanted more, and I won't settle. However, if he and I are still single at sixty, I'll give him another shot."
I smile slightly. "Sixty, huh?"
"Not worth settling before then."
I'd never been in love. Though I followed one boy around like a lovesick puppy all through high school. Was I about to do the same with Troy?
"He's a good man," Minka says, checking her phone. "He's a man, though. They come with a lot of baggage."
Smiling again, I wish I could be as casually confident as Minka. Even before Locke, I never got the hang of the attention my curvy body brought me. I hated public speaking or being the center of attention.
"Thank you," I babble.
Minka studies me. "Shelley will be here this evening. I think you should look into getting a more comfortable wardrobe. I've looked at the schedule she has planned for this month, and you're supposed to go to a party where sweats aren't acceptable attire. You need to find clothes where you're covered, but don't look like a cotton monster is eating you."
"I will."
"It's okay to be modest. Don't let anyone tell you differently," she says as her gaze lifts to a returning Troy. "You don't owe anyone anything."
Either Troy doesn't realize Minka is talking about him or doesn't care. His gaze focuses on me. I force a smile on my face because I want him to pay attention to me rather than the sexy woman a foot away. I don't care what Minka said about them being friends without passion. I still feel invisible in her presence. Troy sees me, and the part of me still alive under all the numbness never wants him to look away.
12
~~~
Troy
Temptation Takes Its Toll
Minka wants to meddle. She comes from a long line of women who play puppet master in other people's lives. Even only meeting her mother and aunts once, I learned quickly about their sneaky ways. While I approve of Minka's ability to manipulate things when she was working a job, Darla isn't part of the package.
"Go away," I tell her.
"No, you go away. I slept last night. You didn't. I'll run this shift."
We glare at each other until she grins.
"Don't be jealous of Darla," I say, killing her smile.
"Why would I be jealous?" she growls.
"I don't know. You've always been very delicate."
Smiling again, Minka rolls her eyes at me. "You might have a point about the timing of the shifts. I shouldn't leave you here at night when you might get ideas you can't control."
"I can be attracted to someone without doing anything about it."
"You couldn't with me."