Earlier, Dino again talked about kids. He says his mom wants grandkids and would watch them all the time. Where in the hell does he figure we’ll live? No way in fucking hell will I move to New Jersey!
I like my job, but working in security, let alone as an assassin, doesn’t mix with being a mom. Troy cut back his hours once he fell in love with Darla. My old security co-worker Saskia quit altogether and now plays house with her man. Rafael rarely comes into the office and will be around less as Harlow’s pregnancy progresses. Everyone settles down, but I don’t know if I can.
“I need to make you spaghetti when we get back to Houston,” Dino says, and I realize he’s talking to me again. “If you’re a good girl, I’ll give you my mom’s secret sauce recipe.”
“I don’t like cooking.”
“Don’t worry. I like it fine, and I like eating out too. I’m an easy-going guy.”
“How easy-going? Would you be okay with no kids or one way off in the future?”
“Are you scared of childbirth?”
“I’m not particularly thrilled about something large ripping out of my vagina, no, but that’s not why I don’t want kids.”
“It’s ’cause of your mom. I know.”
“No, you don’t. It’s because I like being independent.”
Dino stops twirling pasta on his fork and frowns at me. “Don’t you like kids?”
“They’re fine, I guess.” When Dino just stares at me, I ask, “If that’s a deal-breaker, we might as well break it now.”
“Apples, you’re going to be a great mom,” he says. “Just not right now.”
“I’m nearly thirty. If I do it, I don’t want to be using a walker when I go into labor.”
“Then don’t wait that long.”
“But I don’t want to do it now.”
“And you don’t think there’s a span of time between this very second and when you’re tooling around with your walker?”
Agitated, I lean back in the chair and cross my arms. “I’m not your mom.”
“Good thing since I’m planning to fuck you after lunch.”
“I’m not going to be satisfied playing wife and mom.”
“How do you know?”
“I just know.”
“You’ve been thinking about this for how long? A day? An hour? Since we sat down for lunch? Why are you making such a big deal out of something that ain’t a priority?”
“I don’t want you thinking things will happen that won’t happen.”
“And you think I won’t fall in love with you if you tell me, in this restaurant, that you won’t want to give me a couple of kids in a few years? Too late, doll.”
His words punch me in the gut. “You’re not in love with me.”
“I might be. I play things close to the vest.”
I can’t help laughing at his smug expression. “Love isn’t a choice.”
“If it was, would I pick a woman always busting my balls?”
“No, probably not.”
Dino winks at me. “You need to stop worrying about far-off things and start worrying about the meeting with those bikers tonight.”
“What’s there to worry about?”
“I don’t want you looking at them, and I don’t want them looking at you. That’s gonna make keeping up a conversation tricky.”
“I look at who I want,” I say, digging into my lasagna.
“You probably shouldn’t talk to them either. I’ll do the talking while you stare at the ceiling and think happy thoughts. No, look behind us to make sure we aren’t jumped. I don’t want your skills going to waste.”
“You need to find a way to reel in your caveman bullshit. At least when we’re working.”
“Yeah, I don’t see that happening. I guess you’ll need to reel in your Helen Reddy bullshit.” When I don’t understand, he gives me a sly smile. “Google it. I’ll wait.”
I pull out my phone, google the name, and then flip him off. “I am a woman, and you will hear me roar.”
“Only in bed, Apples. Learn your place.”
Dino is already ducking by the time he finishes talking. I throw my roll at him while he laughs.
“Learn your place, dickhead,” I growl, laughing at his amused expression. “No way will this work between you and me.”
“Don’t be scared. Change is good.”
“I’m not changing for you.”
“Sure, and I’m not changing for you either. We’ll stay exactly the same until we die of old age in Florida.”
“I hate Florida.”
“So do I, but I was making a point.”
“Well, okay then.”
We share a smile before I return to worrying about how much I want Dino yet don’t want the future I imagine with him.
Finishing the plate of spaghetti, he wipes his mouth. “We better get back to the hotel so I can work off these carbs.”
I stand up and throw cash down for the bill. “I guess that means you’ll be on top. Works for me.”
Walking out, I don’t wait for Dino, but he’s on my ass within seconds. His arm wraps around my shoulders, and he leans in to smell my hair.
“Apples,” he murmurs.
“Peaches, actually.”