My first stop in the cabin is the floor directly in front of the old ceramic sink. I get down on my hands and knees and pull the small handmade curtain that’s been hung around the sink in place of cabinet doors. I smile when I see Uncle Raymond’s old tool bag. Finding a screwdriver, I go to the fake plank that Raymond fixed. I pry the board back. Underneath is a false bottom my Uncle used to stash his money in. His reasoning was that, as sneaky as the government was, you would have to be rich to afford a cure during the apocalypse. I never tried to talk him out of it, because hell, if that’s what the old man believed, who was I to argue?
Inside there’s a large roll of money and some fake ID’s provided by some of my buddies in the Steel Vipers, a local motorcycle club I do ink for. I grab it and gather a few more things I think I might need. Before I leave, I go to the makeshift closet and take out the overnight bag I packed all those years ago. I’ve slimmed and bulked up thanks to prison life and routines, but the clothes there will still fit. I switch into jeans, and a t-shirt, grab an old hunting sack that’s lying on the table and store the rest of my finds in it, including the prison jumpsuit. I don’t want to announce I’ve been here if I can help it. Then, I head back to the bunker. I swear when I get back I’m going to somehow manage to sleep for a couple of hours.
______
I don’t know what I expected when I got back to the bumper, but I don’t think it was finding Tess sleeping. She’s lying on the old army cot sound asleep. Her hair is wet and sticking to her jaw, and you can see the glistening tracks of tears on her face. Guilt sucker punches me in the gut. It’s not a feeling I’m used to having. Hell, the only time I’ve ever had it was when I lost my child.
I should have done something to pull my ex, Renee, out of the pit she had crawled into. I didn’t know it was as bad as it actually was. She kept it hidden, but even that’s not the complete truth. I didn’t care enough to know more. I was glad she was out of my hair.
Saying that, if I could go back, I would. I never should have messed with Renee anyway. She was a muffler bunny the Vipers kept. It was just a weekend lay because if there was one fucking thing that Renee was good at, it was sucking cock and riding it. Hindsight is definitely twenty-twenty.
I go to the chest my uncle kept and find the old army blankets inside. They are wool blankets that are soft and still in the plastic packaging. The National Guard passes them out in times of disaster, and somehow Uncle Raymond got tons of them. They can’t be washed without falling apart, but cleanliness was something that wasn’t a top priority for Raymond, so guess he didn’t care. I pull a cover over her and smile at the soft whimper she gives. She’s beautiful really, but so tiny and frail you could imagine a little wind would knock her over. On the heels of that thought are memories of her back-talking and arguing with me. She has substance. She might have more than any person I’ve ever met before, but I can’t weaken towards her. Whatever I decide from here out, I know it’s probably not going to end well. I made my bed with my choices in the past, and there’s not a damn thing I could or would do to change them.
I store my stuff under my bed and decide to lay down on the small cot beside her. It’s early, barely dusk outside, but this is just a temporary stop, and I’m going to need to find rest where I can get it. Tomorrow, I need to figure out what exactly I’m going to do and what in the hell I’m going to do with Tess. I’ve been acting like an idiot. I can’t keep her, I don’t even know why I have. It’s like someone else has taken over my mind and is calling all the shots. I have to let her go. I have to.
“You came back for me,” Tess mumbles from the bed beside me. I turn to look at her and nearly groan. Sexy should be the last thing she is right now. Her makeup is smeared; her eyes have circles, and her hair is a mess. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a more beautiful woman.
I don’t answer her and instead go back to staring up at the ceiling.
“You know when I was little, I used to dream of a man whisking me off my feet. We’d leave and go on the run from my family. It would be fun and exciting and full of adventure. The dream is much better than the reality, Max.”
“Why did you want to run away from your family?” My voice is gruff, probably because I fought questioning her, but I just had to ask.
This time, she goes silent. I think she’s going to ignore the question, but as she has all day, Tess surprises me.
“Some people are not good. They’re so far away from good it’s frightening.”
“Seems you attract us,” I grunt. I can just drop her off in town tomorrow once I get a car. I’ll set her out, go on my way and enjoy whatever time I have before the devil comes calling.