“You don’t understand. Isleen needs me. She doesn’t need doctors or the hospital. She needs me.” He recognized how his words had to sound to everyone else. He just knew something they didn’t know and wouldn’t understand. “They’re not taking her. You’re not taking her. No one is taking her.”
Everyone on the scene paused and looked at him. Pity, sympathy, and sorrow on all their faces.
“What are you all looking at? She’s going to be all right. She just needs time!” He yelled the words like a deranged psycho.
Some of them looked away, and some shook their heads. Some of the cops put their hands on their service weapons as if Xander were on the verge of needing to be taken down. “Fuck you!” he shouted. “Fuck you all.” He gathered Isleen into his arms and stood. “Dad—” He spoke soft so only his father could hear him. “You’ve been a shit father. Haven’t done a goddamned thing for me since the moment Gale left. And hey, I get it. But I need something from you right now. You have to keep everyone away.”
“I’ll make sure you have all the time you need.” Dad turned to the crowd of people who stared at them. “I’m a doctor. Her vitals are stable, and I’ve field-dressed her injury.”
Xander walked away, headed toward the river, and followed a short path to a colossal sycamore. The tree was something from an epic movie. Its trunk immense, branches fanning out in all directions—some toward the water, some toward the sky, some dipping down offering shelter. Its bark was mottled white and tan. Giant gnarled roots hunched out of the ground. He settled in between those roots, the tree cradling him in the same way he cradled Isleen.
He shifted her around in his arms so she sat between his legs, her back against his chest. He wrapped his arms around her, hugging her tightly to him. The tingle and itch of healing pulsed through him. She was getting better. He could feel it. It was only a matter of when she’d wake up.
He rested his head against the top of hers. Her hair had dried and smelled of river and algae.
In front of them, the water swirled and eddied, slapping and rippling against the shore. A blue heron descended from the sky like a miniature flying dinosaur and landed in the shallows. The bird stalked through the water, his head tilting side to side, looking for a meal. Water bugs darted and glided over the surface like skiers on a slope.
She would wake up soon. She had to.
Unless she didn’t want to wake up. After everything she’d been through, why would she seek out this life with all its pain? She’d been offered nothing but shit. Imprisoned in that torture trailer for years. Locked in that box. Starved. There had been five naked men. Five. Had they taken turns? Passed her from one to the other?
His mind conjured up horrors his heart couldn’t take. His throat kicked open and he leaned away from her to gag, but a sob came out instead. His eyes stung; his vision went watery. Warmth sprinted down his cheeks. Tears. Fucking damn. He didn’t cry. Hadn’t cried when Gale left, when Dad rejected him, when he’d been struck by lightning, when he’d nearly gone crazy from all the noise. But this—confronting what she’d been through—hurt like a heart amputation.
He held her tight, buried his face in her neck, and wept.
He cried for everything she’d endured. She was so petite, so fragile, and yet she’d been forced to grow a steel spine. The worst she had suffered had only temporarily bent her, never breaking her. But even the strongest metal fractured after too much pressure. Was this her breaking point?
“If I could, I’d endure all your pain. Take it on myself.” He spoke between sobs, his words rushed and running together. “Willingly. Gladly. I never want you to be hurt, in pain, or suffering. I want to give you happiness and joy. I want to see you smile and hear you laugh.”
He started rocking—forward and back—with her. He was goddamned losing his shit and couldn’t help it. “There’s so much you’ve missed out on. So much I want to give you, so much I want to show you.” Everything in his mind gushed out of him in a torrent of longing. “There’s a pond on the property where I used to swim as a kid. The fish would nibble my toes, and it felt so strange and funny at the same time. I know you’d love it.
“I want to show you Fearless and Bear’s totem. I want to take you to see the fireworks on the Fourth of July. I want to spend Thanksgiving with you, eating and lounging on the couch watching football all day. I want to see you playing in the snow. I want to see you by the light of our Christmas tree. I just want you in my life. I want you happy.”
He cried until he had nothing left inside, and then he clung to her until he felt strong enough to lift his head from her neck.
Across the river, on the opposite shore, stood a doe and her speckled fawn. They froze as if sensing Xander watching them. The doe’s ears flicked, searching for a warning sound, while the fawn bent to the water and drank.
“I wish you could see this. They’re so beautiful,” he whispered, his voice hollow. Probably because he felt like his heart had been removed from his body.