“I’m all right,” Isleen finally said. “I think I’m a happy crier.”
“Nothing wrong with that.” Row pulled back and visually checked Isleen over like any good grandmother would, then nodded as if confirming Isleen’s words. “You’ve got be just about peeing your pants to see Gale. Alex, he’s such a dumbass sometimes, didn’t think about how badly you might want to see Gale before they left the hospital.” Row’s tone wasn’t harsh or angry, but filled with teasing affection that ticked the corners of Isleen’s mouth up a notch. Her cheeks were stiff, and it felt weird and right to be smiling for the first time since… She couldn’t even remember the last time.
Row linked her arm with Isleen’s and they headed toward the magnificent house. “I’ve got Gale set up in the library. It’s the only private room on the first floor. After we visit with her…”
Isleen lost Row’s words as they moved closer to the house, toward her new beginning.
There was so much about her life she didn’t want to remember. The bad stuff in her past was too immense and diverse and horrific for her to analyze. If she wanted to make this new life work, she needed an amputation of everything up to the moment she met Row. But an amputation meant not only losing the bad memories, but the good ones—the happy moments of the time before they had been captured. Was she willing to sacrifice the good just to forget the bad? Yes. It would be worth it to be rid of the past, the pain.
Start here. Start fresh. Start focusing forward, just like Gran always did. Gran never spoke about painful things in her past. Never. Isleen didn’t know how Gran did it, but she was going to bury all the bad under the rich, dark earth of her mind, then place the grave in the center of an endless labyrinth. If the bad ever escaped, it would be lost in the twisting, turning boundlessness of the maze and never find its way to her.
“Focus forward” had always been Gran’s life motto. Now, Isleen was going to adopt it, coddle it, and care for it too.
Row pushed open the massive front door and motioned for Isleen to enter first.
She sucked in a breath of focus-forward determination and entered her shiny new life. One step across the threshold, her feet refused to move. The expanse and extent of the house held her captive in its cathedral-like majesty. Overhead, the ceiling soared so high it seemed a part of the sky. She felt miniscule compared to the wide-open space.
“Wow. Oh wow. Wow.” She was stuck on repeat, not able to find any other words. The giant room possessed a hominess she didn’t expect in such a large place. A kitchen was to the left, with a huge island and an even larger table that looked like it belonged in a fancy castle. The rest of the open space was filled with clusters of seating areas, some in front of windows, some in front of the fireplace, and some in the middle. It was the oddest, neatest place she’d ever seen.
Across the vastness, a spiral staircase wound up, up, up to an open second-floor family room. Cozy couches and chairs were set in front of a TV the size of a small movie screen. Wow. On either side of the loft ran open hallways with three doors on each side. Bedrooms she supposed. One of those was probably hers. Her own private place. How long had it been since she’d had privacy?
“It’s pretty damned incredible, isn’t it? Alex designed the place himself. He always said he wanted Gale to have a home that reflected the enormity of his love.” Row’s words contained the wistfulness of the past and the ache of love long lost.
“He built this for Gran?”
Row’s brows pinched together, carving a new network of wrinkles across her forehead. “Yes, he did. I’m surprised Gale never told you.”
“Gran’s rule has always been to focus forward. I learned never to ask about the past. I never knew any of this existed.”
“Sweet baby Christ,” Row gasped as if Isleen’s words stung her. “I can’t flippin’ believe… Yes, I can. Knowing Gale, I can believe it.” She started shaking her head in that disappointed way only a grandmother could pull off.
Sparklers of anger sizzled inside Isleen’s stomach and rocketed out her mouth. “Why do you and Matt act like Gran’s a bad person? If you all hate her so much, why did you bring us here?” The moment the words left her mouth, she wanted to suck them back in. She shouldn’t be acting this way when Row had been nothing but kind and accepting of her.
The question snapped Row out of her head-shaking. “Sweetie, I don’t hate her. There’s just a lot of history here between all of us that you don’t understand. I’ll tell you everything—I don’t believe in that focus-forward bullshit Gale always spouted—but let’s get you settled in first. About Matt… I suspect he really does hate Gale. He has his reasons. And honestly, he’s probably not too fond of you either simply because you’re related to her.”