"What men?" I cock my head to the side, the bitter unfamiliar taste of jealousy coating my tongue, forcing the question out.
"It doesn't matter," she answers quickly on a sigh. "I was trying to say that I won't sleep with a man if he's in a serious relationship with someone else. If a woman loved you enough to brand your hand, even temporarily, you might love her back. I'm glad that it wasn't a woman who wrote it."
"What men, Ellie?"
"I don't know." She shrugs. "I wasn't talking about a particular man, Nolan. I was talking in general terms about having sex with other men."
I swear to God my vision is blurring from frustration. Why can't she give me a straight answer, and more importantly, why the hell do I care?
I've been in bed with women I know for a fact were fucking other men the night before I got my turn and I never gave them another thought. One of my friends from college married a woman he screwed an hour after I did at a frat party. I didn't think twice about it. I went to their wedding with a gift from their registry in my hands. I've never given two shits about what guy a woman fucked before or after she's been with me. Right now, the only thing I want is Ellie to tell me who the hell else she wants.
"Are you planning on fucking River?" I ask in an even tone. This is an adult conversation and I can act like a goddamn grown-up when I have it.
"Why are you bringing him up?" Her hands jump to her hips.
"I'm bringing him up because that son of a bitch couldn't keep his eyes off your ass last night."
"He was looking at my ass?"
How the hell is this conversation even happening? My face should be firmly planted between her thighs by now, my hands all over that ass. Instead, we're discussing another man's fascination with her body.
I rub at my forehead. "Are you going to sleep with River or not?"
"I haven't even said yes to his dinner invitation yet."
Fucking hell.
"He asked you out?" My voice sounds strangled. It's a reflection of how my cock feels.
She tucks her hair behind her left ear. "He sent me flowers today and on the card there was a cute poem. He made up a rhyme about taking me to dinner in the form of a poem."
"A poem?" I repeat back, trying to absorb the idea that he wrote her poetry. I bought her half a burger and some fries. "So you're going out for dinner with River after you've had dinner with me?"
"Are you talking about actual dinner?" She purses her lips. "Or are you using dinner as a euphemism for sex?"
I lost my virginity when I was a teenager. Since then, I've never once met a woman I craved this much who I spent this much time talking to before I fucked her. Ever.
"I don't use anything as a euphemism for sex." I cross my arms over my chest. "When I talk about fucking, you'll know it. There will be no doubt."
"In that case, I haven't decided if I'll have dinner with River or not," she pauses. "The poem he wrote was very sweet."
"I'll write you something too."
"You'll write me a poem?" She laughs. "I can't wait to read it."
I've never written a woman a poem. I wouldn't know where to fucking start.
"I told you that I'm nothing like River. It's not poetry, but it's something." I turn on my heel and head to the foyer. I pick up the black marker, unsure if it will even work after all this time. As I approach Ellie, I catch sight of her against the backdrop of the view of Manhattan.
My city, the very first love of my life, is there paling in comparison to the beauty of this woman. This woman who fell into my lap and my life and who I can't stop thinking about even though I've never really kissed her.
I reach for her hand and she gives it easily. I turn it over, pulling the cap off the marker with my teeth. I let it drop to the floor. I write on her skin while she watches my every move.
When I'm done, I toss the pen onto the piano.
Ellie looks down at her palm. She swallows hard and then, without a word, she grabs the front of my shirt, rises to her tiptoes and brushes her lips over mine.
Chapter 20
Ellie
His kiss is demanding. His lips are soft, their touch gentle at first, but then they part and his tongue greedily finds mine.
His moans are raw as his large hands cup my neck, controlling the tilt of my head and the pressure of his mouth on mine. He whispers something against my lips as he pulls back to catch a breath. I don't hear it. I can't make it out, but I sense it.
The desire is there in his kiss, and in his touch.
I reach up to wind my fingers through his hair. That pulls another sound from within him, but this time it's a groan. It's deep and gruff, the sound reverberating through him and into me.
"I'll give you anything you want," he whispers against my cheek as he breaks the kiss. "Tell me what you want, Ellie."
Everything. All of it. I want to feel and taste. I want to touch the skin that's hidden under his clothes. I want to hear the sound of his breathing and then when it hitches I want to savor that, knowing that he came just for me.