“Let them be,” said Sophie.
The witches weren’t the only ones taking sanctuary in the Forest. As the foursome went on, they spotted a tent made out of a bedsheet, surrounded by melting wax candles, lighting up two shadows inside the tent, kissing and giggling.
“Now this we have to see,” Sophie said.
She sashayed into the thicket and pulled open the tent—
Hort and Nicola tumbled out.
“I told you I heard someone!” Nicola said.
“Hiya,” Hort beamed, seeing Agatha, Tedros, and Rhian first. “Robin told us you guys went to Beauty and the Feast. I wanted to take Nic there for our first date, but I don’t have the money, so I made a picnic inste—”
He saw Sophie. But Hort didn’t look the slightest bit embarrassed or aggrieved. “Um, you guys going to the Arrow?”
“We’re on our way right now,” said Sophie. “Want to join us?”
“Maybe we’ll meet you there,” said Hort.
Sophie smiled at him. “No pressure.” She turned to his new girlfriend. “Oh, and Nicola, I used one of Robin’s best crows to send a message to your father in Gavaldon and let him know you’ll be home for Christmas.”
Nicola goggled at her. “Y-y-you did?”
“Didn’t tell him you’d stay home, of course. In case something compels you to come back to the Woods,” she said, winking at Hort.
Hort smiled at Sophie and squired Nicola into his tent.
“That was so nice of her,” the group heard Nicola saying.
“Nice of her, indeed,” said Agatha to Sophie as they retook the path.
“Everyone deserves to be happy in The End,” said Sophie, almost singing it. “Including little weasels.”
By the time they reached Marian’s Arrow, it was well past midnight. In their dresses and suits, they traipsed through a silent fernfield to get to the rusty barn, painted with a cartoon of a young Robin Hood in his green jacket kissing Maid Marian in a white pinafore. From both of their mouths came a speech bubble that read: LEAVE ALL YE TROUBLES BEHIND
A beady-eyed vulture peered down at them, perched over the door, eating what looked like a deep-fried rat.
“Password?” he asked throatily.
“Little John,” said Tedros.
“Proceed,” said the vulture, sprinkling ratcrumbs.
Agatha pushed open the steel door.
A wave of noise crashed over them as Agatha looked around a place that was half seedy pub and half country jamboree. Harried waitresses in tight Sheriff’s uniforms scampered about, some taking orders, others dive-bombing food to the tables, sloshing ginger beer, cheeseballs, and pigskins on customers’ heads. In the center of the Arrow, a throng of customers square-danced while two billy goats fiddled on their hind legs beneath a massive porcelain statue of Maid Marian, tall as a giant, that blew bubbles if you deposited a silver piece. Everywhere Agatha looked, she glimpsed men wearing brown caps speared with colored feathers, each one of them flirting with someone. But she couldn’t see Robin himself anywhere.
Tedros came back from the bar with four tall mugs of cider—
“Look, there’s Hood!” he said.
Agatha spun to see the famous rogue standing atop the bar, a woman under each arm who was not Marian, and raising a mug to the crowd.
“Let us toast first to my Merry Men, for livening these Woods and spoiling its women!” The crowd cheered and the men in brown caps around the pub took a collective bow. Robin grinned down at Agatha, Tedros, Sophie, and Rhian. “Let us also toast to the questers of the School for Good and Evil for fighting a battle that not many are willing to fight and protecting kingdoms that most of you come to our Forest to escape!” Another cheer. “Let us also toast to Maid Marian, for being my true love since my own school days and for letting me name this place in her honor, and most importantly . . . for being at home asleep!” Perhaps the loudest cheer of all. “And let us toast the girl who deserves our greatest thanks on this day and always . . . for her courage, her kindness, and her heart. To Dot!”
“To Dot!” the crowd roared.
“To Dot!” said Tedros, clashing mugs with Agatha, Sophie, and Rhian.
“But where is Dot?” said Sophie.
Then Agatha saw her, slumped over a table in the corner.
“Oh my God,” she said, breaking from Tedros and sprinting to Dot’s side.
“Dot, are you okay?” she breathed.
“Beauty and the Feast . . . Beauty and the Feeeeassssst . . . ,” Dot warbled, looking up, eyes red and squinty, clutching a mug. “Where boys bring girls to give them rings—”
“What is this?” Agatha demanded, snatching the mug out of her hand. “What are you drinking?”
“Chocolate millllk,” Dot mumbled. “What I alllllways drink at the Arrrrroooo—”
Rhian rushed in and seized the mug, sniffing it. He dumped the remainder on the table and watched it curdle. “Sleeping Willow seed,” he said, eyeing Agatha. “The milk was doctored.”
“He got me my millllllk . . . Best date everrrrrr,” Dot slurred.
“Who’s he?” said Tedros intensely, kneeling at her side.
“Kissss meee, Teddy,” Dot piffled, slumping over.
Tedros hoisted her up like a child and sat her on the table. He looked into her pouty face. “Dot. Who’s ‘he’.”
“My date . . . ,” she said, yawning. “Went to the bathroom a few hours ago . . . He’ll be back any second. . . .”
Tedros went white. “The boy I saw at the restaurant?”
“You thought you recognized him—” said Agatha, seeing Tedros’ face.
“Kei doesn’t like Teddy,” said Dot, poking at Tedros’ muscles. “Kei wanted to see Daddy’s keys . . . said he’d give me a kiss for each one I showed him . . . Look how many kisses I got. . . .” Dot dug into her dress and thrust her keys into the air like a trophy— Dot screamed.
The whole Arrow screeched to a stop: the music, the dancing, the beer.
Because the key ring Dot was holding had no keys left.
By the time they made it to the jail, blood spilled out its doors like a river.
The cell door was ajar, the magic sack inside shredded to threads and scattered about the stone floor like snakes.
And guarding the cell were three Merry Men, with eyes wide open, their hearts speared through with their own arrows.
26
TEDROS
Questions of a King
This meeting will come to order!” Tedros declared, standing in front of the captain’s wheel of the Igraine as it flew through the pink-and-purple dawn sky. He looked down at the gathered crew, still in their clothes from the night before and sitting cross-legged on the deck. “I won’t waste words, as Professor Dovey’s crystal ball does not give us much time with her—”
“Indeed,” said the Dean, from a watery bubble hovering next to Tedros’ head, her office a mess in the background. “The Snake is on the loose after escaping Nottingham, and though neither he nor his scims have yet to be sighted, he will surely come for Camelot, for Excalibur, and for the king. We must protect all three. Judging from my Quest Map, your ship will arrive at Camelot in an hour and we need to be clear on the plan—”