Her words were a soothing balm to my bleeding soul, to my stressed brain, but I still didn’t think she understood what we were up against. “Cal, you weren’t there. You didn’t see her magic. And now she probably has a dark crystal at her disposal.”
“It doesn’t matter. I see you. I see how loyal you are to your people. I saw the mecca test the day you were born. I’ve never seen the magic react that way. You won’t let anyone harm us. I know it.”
Finn pressed to my side, agreeing with her through our bond. I sat a little straighter then, despite the weight of my responsibilities trying to crush me. They were definitely right about one thing. I would fight and kill, and take whatever hits I had to in order to keep my people safe. I would not fall. I would not falter. And if I died in this war, I would know I did everything I could for my people. No queen could give more than that, and I had to accept that fact.
Calista reached across the table and grabbed a bagel off my plate, before patting me on the arm. My smile was genuine then; she had lifted my mood enough so I could finally finish my food. We ate in a comfortable silence, and when she left, Finn went with her, back to patrolling.
I left to find Rowan and Violet. It was time to fully embrace all sides of me. I was going to learn to be part fae. May the gods be with me.
Rowan and Violet were on the rooftop garden. It was late afternoon, the sun just starting to lower in the sky. As I emerged from the elevator, my eyes were immediately drawn upwards, to the glint of a very pale purple, the faintly glittering surface of the solid bubble of magic above our heads, no doubt hiding our doings from our New York neighbors.
“I’m ready,” I offered, striding forward without hesitation. To be honest, I had no idea what to expect. I was born with the mecca magic pulsing through my veins. As a queen heir it was inherently part of me. It was familiar, and I knew somewhat how to control it. This fae magic was new, unbridled, and at times it scared me. Maybe if it hadn’t been stripped from me at birth, hidden away, it would not be that way. It was like I was a baby all over again, trying to learn how to walk. Only this time I didn’t have legs, I had weird stilts attached to my legs — foreign objects — and I felt uncoordinated and off-balance.
Rowan approached me, her arms relaxed at her sides. “Okay, so you’re born of the Winter Court, which means, as I said before, that your affinity will be in water, ice, wind. But you’re also part shifter, and a queen tied to the Earth-side mecca and her people … so, I’m going to have to do a bit of experimenting.”
Great. Experimenting. My favorite thing. Violet’s eyes were shining, so were her teeth as she smirked at me. She was no doubt enjoying my unease. I didn’t deal particularly well with being bad at things.
Rowan placed her hands out in front of her. “Okay, Violet, shields up.”
Violet’s smile dropped in an instant and she straightened, putting up a shield to protect herself.
Rowan focused her attention on me then. “Start by letting the magic free inside of you. I can feel that you have it locked down. You need to let it move about … mingle within your center.”
I was standing with my feet slightly apart, braced for whatever was about to come for me. I relaxed my stance slightly, needing my muscles to unlock so I could free the magic. Rowan was right about me having most of my energy locked down. There was too much to have it free all the time. I’d probably start randomly zapping people around me.
There was a slight resistance as I loosened the bonds, like part of me was still not comfortable enough with the energy to let it bounce about inside of me, but there was only one way to get more comfortable with it. Right?
My knees buckled slightly as the first wave of magic smashed through the small cracks I had created. It filled my body, filtering through every part of me. Rowan must have felt the energy, because she too looked like she was bracing herself.
“Place your hands out like mine. Let the magic flow out and see where it wants to go, what it wants to do.”
I brought my palms up, feeling the tingle already within them. “Just like that? Let it come out and play?”
Rowan nodded, her expression hardening even more as her hands went in front of her in a half fight position. Worried, I stepped back a few paces, not wanting to hurt her. Then I took a deep breath and searched through all my energy for that buzzing wire inside of me that was the fae magic. It was there, entwined with the mecca, and I called to it, letting some of the magic seep from my palms. The energy that emerged was the dark midnight sparkle of color I had seen in the Otherworld.
“Good!” Rowan coaxed me. “Now where does it want to go? Walk around to the flowers, the fountain.”
Even though it felt like an odd request, I did as she asked, walking as the magic trailed from my fingers. It brushed over the flowers without leaving a mark, same with the fountain. It took me about thirty seconds to realize exactly what it was doing — floating upwards, into the sky.
Rowan was staring curiously at the magic as it floated higher and higher. “Okay, well, it’s giving you a direction. Now it’s time to give it a push. Make it do something.”
This was not the kind of training I had envisioned, but I didn’t hesitate. Confident that no humans would see, and that both Rowan and Violet were shielded from getting hurt, I lashed out with all of the energy inside. Instead of allowing a small trickle, I released my hold and let it flow free.
The magic soared up to the protective bubble and with a pop it shattered it. Holy … crap. With all of my strength, I yanked the magic back toward me. It was certainly a lot harder to pull it back than to let it go free, but eventually I contained it again in my center. Spinning around, I realized that Rowan and Violet had been thrown backwards when the shield shattered.
“Vi! Rowan!” I ran to their sides, trying to assess if they were hurt. Neither of them were even looking at me. They were staring at each other, wide-eyed.
“What? Oh God. Speak,” I told them, my words a frantic jumble. What had I just done?
Rowan’s eyes met mine and she shook her head. “You can break magic.” Her voice was light with notes of disbelief in each word. “The bonds of the mecca energy.”
I wasn’t sure what she meant by that.
Violet jumped to her feet, hurrying closer to me. “You’re like a magic born, only a thousand times stronger. No one should have been able to break that ward, or to lower our protective shields. Not without training. You just took those down like they were made of paper.”
“I … I didn’t mean to…” How could I use this to protect my people?
Rowan was circling me now. “If you can repeat this, it means that any spell the winter queen does, you can undo. Whatever she throws at us, you can shatter it before it hits. Possibly also shatter their shields.”
A memory of Isalinda turning Kade into a frozen sculpture ran across my mind. Knowing I would be able to undo that was a huge relief. “That might explain why I could break through her ice magic after I touched the fae side of my energy.”