“He’d probably go right back to Raj,” I said. “Which is not what I want. Or someone else, and then someone else would be going through this and it would be my fault. That’s worse than it happening to me.”
“He could also just follow through on the implied threat,” Alex said. “He could send the pictures to someone. To anyone. Post them online, social media, whatever. Given your rep, word would get out pretty fast. People would love to see Perfect Kara show how not perfect she really is.”
I hadn’t realized the dreaded nickname had made it to Alex. Apparently everyone knew it. Which meant she was right—everyone would love seeing me humiliated like this. I imagined Julia Jackson laughing about it with the Brain Trust at lunch. And then I remembered my other fear, that somehow Blocked Sender had a picture of my actual face. So many ways to show the world I wasn’t perfect.
“So I have to do it. I have no choice. I don’t even know how, though. I’ve never gotten a prescription filled by myself. Am I supposed to use my own insurance card? Isn’t that not a good idea? And how much does it cost? If I pay with a credit card, they’ll know who I am. And aren’t there video cameras at these places? Do I have to show my ID?” The more I thought about it, the more I realized that there was no way I could do this without getting caught.
“You’re spiraling,” Alex said. “One step at a time. Raj will be here any minute—he’ll know the answers to these questions.”
She was right. I focused on my breathing to calm myself down and drank another cup of coffee, even though it would probably have the opposite effect.
Raj showed up even sooner than he’d said. I was relieved to see that he hadn’t gone to any great efforts to groom for us, either—he was in sweats and a heavy coat, and his dark hair was rumpled in a way that was clearly more from sleep than styling. “Thanks for coming over,” I said. “We could use your help.”
Alex interrupted before I could explain. “Before we get to that, I just want to say I’m sorry again for what we did at your house. It was my idea, and I was totally wrong, and I’m glad you and Kara have talked it out, but I wanted you to know that she would have done things differently.”
I wasn’t expecting that. I wasn’t sure she was right—she’d come up with the plan, but it’s not like I had any better ideas. And I’d gone along with it. She was trying to take the bullet for me, going way above and beyond what she needed to tell him. But she wasn’t done.
“She told me it was happening to you too—not to break your confidence but because I’m in this up to my neck, just like you guys.” She explained to him about the poker, and the money.
“The timeline makes sense,” he said. “Thanks for telling me this.”
“Sure, yeah, but does that mean you forgive me? Us?”
I understood her concern for saving their friendship, but I still didn’t understand why she was trying so hard to help me. Did she really want me and Raj to get together that badly?
“I do forgive you,” he said. “Both of you. I was angry that you hadn’t trusted me, but I understand. It’s not like I told anyone when it started happening to me.”
Sitting in the living room, just the three of us, I was suddenly reminded of hanging out with Becca and Isabel, how comfortable we were as a trio. How nice it was to have friends. Strange to be thinking about that at a time like this.
“So what kind of help do you need?” he asked. “Not another prescription already.”
“No, I just need to know how to fill it.” I didn’t say that my mother had always filled prescriptions for me in the past; no need to sound like an idiot, even though I felt like one. I ran through my lists of questions.
“All right,” he said. “I can tell you what to do. You don’t need insurance—you can just pay cash. That avoids the credit card problem too. You don’t need an ID, so no need to worry about that. You’re right about the cameras—I usually go to small places that don’t have them, but you don’t have much of a choice here. It’s an easy fix, though—just cover your hair, wear sunglasses and different clothes than you normally would, and look at the ground as much as possible.”
With every sentence I started to calm down. Raj made it sound manageable. Scary, still, but manageable.
“I can help with the outfit and stuff,” Alex said. “And we’ll come with you. Right, Raj?”
“Of course,” he said.
“No way. I’m not risking anyone else getting in trouble for this. I’ll meet you guys after.”
“There’s a diner not too far from the Walmart called the Bayview,” Raj said. “We can meet up there. We won’t see anyone we know. I’ll drive us to Alex’s so you can change, and then we’ll wait for you while you fill the prescription.”