Pucked Up

“There’s a group of us.” Sunny’s hair twirling gets more and more aggressive until it’s twisted all the way around her finger, cutting off the circulation. She’d never make it as a professional poker player.

“Who else is coming with you?” Robbie’s eyes shift in my direction as he takes a huge bite of bun. I want one.

The doorbell rings, cutting off Sunny’s response. I check the clock on the wall—it’s analog, so I can read it easier. It’s after nine. Shit. Lily’s here, and my time with Sunny is almost up. I didn’t even get to give her a good morning/see you soon orgasm. Damn it.

Sunny skips around the counter and gazelles her way to the front door, throwing it open with a squeal. Her extra crunchy granola bestie throws her arms around her, and they do that weird overly affectionate hug thing girls do when they haven’t see each other in all of five minutes. Although, I’ve been here for the past two days, so it’s been at least that long since they’ve seen each other, but likely not longer.

Lily has short black hair and dark eyes. She’s almost as tall as Sunny, but with less boobs and no curves. She looks more like a prepubescent boy than a twenty-year-old woman, or maybe I’m being an asshole because she’s not my biggest fan.

Her smile widens when she sees Robbie, and then slides right off like her face is made of Teflon when she sees me. She whispers something to Sunny, her eyes wide with surprise.

“Lily!” Daisy flails her arms like a cheerleader on PCP. Lily turns away from her huge hair and accepts the hug.

“Hi, Momma Two. How was your weekend away? Did you have fun?”

“Too much to talk about without embarrassing everyone!” Daisy winks.

I glance at Robbie. He gives me a smug smile and nabs another bun. I think he might have already been into his research today.

“Oh! Kale, Benji! I didn’t see you there!” Daisy’s voice is high-pitched, and she gives Sunny an odd look.

Right behind Lily are two other guys. They look like they could be brothers, or hipster soulmates.

They’re clearly trying to join the beard brigade and failing. While there’s hair on their chins and cheeks, it’s patchy and ungroomed. It makes them look like homeless douches who stole clothes off the rack from the Khaki and Plaid Depot.

So one of these guys is Sunny’s high school ex-boyfriend? I’m definitely in way better shape, and I can grow a legit beard. And I can give her orgasms. All this should make me feel better, but with the way Daisy is looking at Sunny, it doesn’t.

Robbie gives me an eyebrow lift, grabs a fourth cinnamon bun, and nods in the direction of the door. “You better get over there, son.”

The skinnier of the two guys gives Daisy a hug. When he sees Robbie, he gets stupid excited. “Hey! Robbie, how’s it going? I was all bummed out thinking you wouldn’t be back until later today.”

“Our flight got changed at the last minute. It was an early morning, but otherwise I can’t complain.” Robbie’s eyes pass over me again.

Kale goes in for a man hug when he’s finished mauling Daisy. I have to wonder how long those two dated, based on how familiar he is with her family. Or maybe it’s been a long-ass time since they’ve seen him. Either way, their reaction says a lot. He’s the beef tenderloin, and I’m the McDonald’s Big Mac.

I make sure I’m not leaking pool water all over Sunny’s mom’s floor before I cross the hardwood.

“Hey, Lily, how you doin’?” I open my arms like I’m looking for a hug.

Her eyes do this weird widening thing and her lips contort, as if she’s fighting not to make a face. She ends up looking like she’s having a facial seizure. She leans forward and pats my back, straining her neck so almost none of her touches me. It’d be funny if I wasn’t already offended.

I loop an arm around Sunny’s waist from behind.

“Miller! You’re all wet!”

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