“I’m not sure,” I say, because I’m not, and I’mma keep my hypothesizing to myself.
Lance’s doorbell goes off and, like Pavlov’s dog, Randy goes running. He comes back a few minutes later, piggy-backing one of the newly arrived girls. The other three are practically tripping over themselves to get next to him. A couple of months ago when Vi and Waters were on the outs because he was—and I maintain still is—a huge fuckwad, I suggested she go on a date with Randy. Even though he’s my friend, I’m glad that never happened.
I recognize a couple of these girls. I hope my dick hasn’t been inside any of their holes. Although there’s a good chance it has.
Randy doesn’t waste any time. He starts running for the water with the girl on his back. Her eyes go wide when she realizes what he’s going to do, and she starts screaming and kicking. He’s got a solid hold on her legs, so she doesn’t have a chance in hell of getting free. She bites his shoulder as he takes the leap. I smile at her absolute horror.
Dick Yeller stomps past Flash Beaver, heading for the house. The new girls notice and whisper among themselves. It’s too much drama too early in my day.
I hadn’t expected the bunnies today, although I probably should have. Lance doesn’t do the chill-out thing very often. Usually when Natasha comes by, she hangs out for a while after the workout. We BBQ and swim, and then she takes off and we plan our night. Lance always walks her out. I figured it was him being all polite or whatever, but now I’m not so sure.
“This must be torture,” Lance says from beside me.
I glance over at him. While I was busy scoping the scene, he must have come back outside.
“What do you mean?” I drain what’s left of my bottle of water.
“All the girls.”
“It’s no big deal.” Honestly, I figured it’d be a lot harder than it is. Although the bunnies are damn hard to avoid, especially with friends like Lance who throw parties all the time.
I change the subject. “Did you find Natasha?”
“Nah. She was already gone by the time I got inside.” A twitch under his eye is the only tell that I’ve hit a nerve. “You know, if you disappeared with one of the bunnies for a while, no one would say anything.”
I take off my sunglasses and pin him with a cold glare. “My balls could be so fucking blue they look like they’ve been handled by a Smurf, and I still wouldn’t do that to Sunny.”
He raises his hands in the air. “I’m sorry, man. I didn’t mean to upset you. I just figured . . . I don’t know. It can’t be easy. She’s all the way in Canada, and you’re here. Long-distance relationships don’t really work, you know?”
I drop my sunglasses back in place. I don’t want to think about it not working, which is a real possibility. I don’t know the stats on long-distance relationships, but I’m guessing they aren’t good.
Realistically, if me and Sunny are going to be long term, one of us will have to relocate. Since my job is always subject to change, that would mean Sunny going where I go, and she’d need a job that’s easy to do anywhere. It’s something I’ve already put thought into, which says more than I’m willing to admit about how I feel about her.
I nab one of the lawn chair floaty things and toss it in the water, jumping in after it. This isn’t a conversation I want to have with Lance, not before I see Sunny. Sometimes I feel like this whole thing is set up to be a failure from the start.
I must fall asleep on my floaty chair, because all of a sudden I’m really fucking awake, and I have to take a piss. Getting out means dealing with the bunnies. I paddle over to the edge and hoist myself up. Instead of passing about twenty of them to get into the house—they’ve multiplied while I napped—I head for the pool house bathroom. No one else is in here, thank God. I’ve accidentally walked in on people getting it on more than once.
When I come out of the bathroom, a familiar-looking girl is waiting outside the door.