Really good wouldn’t be good enough for me to put up with that shit, but I don’t say anything. Lily is Sunny’s bestie. If I know one thing about girls, it’s not to talk shit about their friends.
I peek inside the trailer as we pass. Benji seems to have gotten his ass up. The question is, where is he now, and how soon will he be leaving? His location becomes obvious when we walk into the cottage. Lily and Benji are in the kitchen having an out-and-out screaming match. Actually, Lily’s the screamer. Benji leans against the counter while she gets in his face.
Randy sits at the table across the room, eating a bowl of cereal and browsing a magazine like nothing is happening. The weird dick sculpture wearing the superhero cape is still on the table. I need to check that out later. Bushman is nowhere to be seen.
“We’re done, Benji! I’m not doing this anymore with you! How many times do I have to say it’s over before you get it?”
“You say this every time, and then we get back together.” He’s cocky about it, smirking like a jackass.
“Not this time!” Under all that anger are tears. She’s fighting them. I can see the tremble in her chin, even from across the room.
Benji laughs. Maybe it’s because he’s got an audience. Then again, maybe he really is a giant dick. “If I leave, you know you’ll be calling me in a couple hours, crying like you always do. So why don’t you take the bitch down a notch?”
Now Lily has been a serious pain in my ass where Sunny’s concerned. But no matter how I feel about her interference, I’m not cool with guys calling their girlfriends bitches. It’s demeaning. And he’s doing it in front of other people, which makes me wonder what he says to her when no one else is around. I’m about to say something, but Randy beats me to it.
He pauses with his spoon halfway to his mouth. “The fuck you say to her?”
“Mind your own business,” Benji snaps.
Randy’s eyebrows lift, and he drops his spoon in his bowl. Milk splatters the table, his beard, and his shirt. He doesn’t seem to notice or care as he pushes his chair back. “Mind my own business?” Randy crosses the kitchen until he’s towering over Benji. Randy’s tall, but not as built as me. I tell him he’s skinny all the time. In hockey he’s lean; in the real world he’s intimidating, and he’s got about fifty pounds on Benji.
Randy thumbs over his shoulder at Lily. “You’ve been following her around the house like an untrained puppy for the past twenty minutes, needling the shit out of her right in front of me. Maybe it’s time you take a fucking hint and leave like she’s been asking you to.”
“I’m not going anywhere.”
“You sure about that?” Randy cracks his knuckles.
“I have a brown belt in karate.”
“And I have a black belt in kick your fucking ass.”
Then the weirdest thing in the world happens. Lily grabs Randy by the shoulder, spins him around, and suctions her mouth to his.
“Is there a full moon?” I ask Sunny, who looks as shocked as me.
She doesn’t even have to think about her answer. “It’s not until next week.”
Randy’s hands are up in the air. His eyes are as wide as Sunny’s—and Benji’s. It’d be comical if it wasn’t so fucked up.
“Fuck you, Lily!” Benji yells and stomps off.
Lily breaks free from Randy’s mouth, covers his ears with her palms, and shouts, “No. Fuck you, Benji!”
He turns around to say something else, but Lily glues her lips to Randy’s again. Benji slams through the front door in a snit.
At this point it’s safe for Lily to disengage, but that doesn’t seem to be happening. Eventually, Randy takes her face in his hands and unlocks their mouths. Both Sunny and I are still staring.
“I think you proved your point, honey.”
Lily blinks. “What?”
“I think he got the message. You’re good.”
She shakes her head. “Oh. Oh! I’m sorry. I didn’t mean. Shit.” She lets go of him like he’s a grenade without a pin.
“Unless you wanna keep going. I’ve already seen you naked, so we’re halfway there, right?” He grins and winks.