“What?” I turned toward the shadowy corner, wishing I could see his face again.
“When people don’t know what to say to one another they talk about the weather right? So.... shit’s kind of hot tonight.” A line of silver smoke from his exhale billowed into the air, grey smoke on top of black shadows.
I swallowed hard. “Yeah, it’s hot,” I said. “But if you want to talk news and current events I’ve heard there is a stalker out on the loose in Logan’s Beach. He stands on back porches and glares into the windows of unassuming women.”
“I think I heard that too. But it was just the window of one unassuming woman. And he’s not a stalker.”
“No?”
“More like a peeping tom.”
I laughed and stepped toward him again, I could feel the argument on his lips, but before he could speak I sat down just outside of the dark space, only a foot or so away with my back against the tower next to a white tarp that was littered with buckets and brushes, smelling like fresh paint. “Why did you come to see me?”
“Why did you come to see me?” was his immediate reply. We were both quiet, probably because neither one of us could answer that question simply. “It’s quiet here,” he added.
“Yeah, it is.”
“Since I’ve been home everything seems so fucking loud,” he lamented.
“Preppy, what happened to y...”
He cut me off before I could finish. “No, Doc. Not now. Not today. Probably not fucking ever.” I looked over and saw the burning red glow of the cherry burn brighter as he inhaled, wishing it was just a bit brighter so I could catch a glimpse of the lips attached to end of that cigarette.
He must have been looking at me too. “I like your glasses,” he said.
“Thanks,” I said, pushing them up on my nose. “My vision had been a little blurry for years. I always thought it was because of the heroin, or maybe that’s just why I didn’t care. It wasn’t until after I got clean and it didn’t get any better that I went and got my eyes checked. I was still in shock when they told me it wasn’t the heroin after all. It was just me.” I laughed nervously. “Guess you’re probably surprised I managed to stay clean after all this time.”
“No, I always knew you’d kick that shit,” Preppy said, the confidence in his voice taking me by surprise. He took a deep breath. “Doc, I have to say this. Four years ago...”
“Preppy, no. You don’t have to,” I interrupted. “You’re not obligated to say anything about what happened back then. It was so long ago. It’s all been long forgotten,” I lied.
“Fours years ago,” he started again, with more determination. “I was a complete shit to you. Thought about it a lot since then. Thought I could just push you away instead of dealing with how mixed up I was feeling. I just wanted to send it all to the back of my brain and keep it there.” He laughed like he couldn’t believe his own words. “For years I thought I was such a badass because you leaving didn’t affect me like it ought to of. Truth is that it did. A fucking lot. I just didn’t let it show, and for some stupid reason in my mind I thought that it was the same as not affecting me. It only took being mostly alone in the dark for months on end to realize how fucking ridiculous that really was.”
What the fuck happened to you, Preppy?
“I thought that way for a long time too,” I admitted. “And that’s one of the reasons I’m here. In town. For closure. I’ve made so many mistakes. So freaking many.”
“Did you find it?” Preppy asked. “Your closure?
I looked over to the dark corner and felt his eyes on me when I whispered, “Not even close.” I pressed my teeth against my lower lip. I sighed and let my head fall back against the water tower.
“Why not?” Preppy asked.
I looked up at the perfect cloudless night sky and the thousands of twinkling stars overhead. I closed my eyes tightly. “Because I found you instead.”
A pair of squawking black birds chose that moment to practically fall from the night sky, tangled up with one another. My eyes shot open to the scene playing out in front of us. The birds would separate briefly, only to fly another few feet before colliding together again, talons extended, beaks pecking away at the other. The occasional feather floated down onto the platform. The pair traded blow for blow as they rose and fell in the air like a carnival ride. “You think they’re fighting or fucking?” I asked, not realizing I’d spoken the words out loud until it was too late.
The mood between us turned more serious. Even the crickets must have realized the shift in energy because it was as if they’d sensed it and stopped chirping so they could listen in. “I think you and I both know you can be doing both at the same time.” His words took me right back to when Bear became a tool in our battle of ‘who could make each other feel worse’.
If there was a winner, it sure as shit hadn’t been me.
“Who knew that sex could be the ultimate weapon of mass destruction?” I asked, followed by a nervous laugh. I reached for the ends of the sleeves I wasn’t wearing so I could pull them down over my hands. I could feel his eyes on me, watching my every move. I shifted left and right, already feeling the indentations of the diamond plated metal platform taking shape on my butt cheeks. “So... more weather then?” I asked, needing to break the tension that was winding tighter and tighter in the space between us before it broke.
“More anything else,” Preppy replied, sounding both relieved and saddened.
“Learn anything new since you’ve been...” I hesitated, not knowing what word to use. “Back?”
“Well,” Preppy started. “King and his girl got a bunch of kids now. They rebuilt the garage because there was some sort of catastrophic event that they won’t tell me about. But then again they aren’t really telling me shit these days. Bear is hiding from me for some reason. My room is now bubblegum pink and is being occupied by a six year old who likes to come in my room and stare at me while I sleep.” He paused. “And Grace died.”
“I’m so sorry,” I said, reaching my hand out to comfort him only to be met with the cold metal of the tower when he skidded back out of reach. I retracted my hand and pulled my knees into my chest.
“Forget the weather. Maybe tell me something funny. Tell me a joke, Doc,” his voice was fading as if he were growing tired. “I haven’t heard one of those in a long while.”
I sat for a second, breathing in the smell of cigarette smoke and his soap, thinking I was in some sort of dream that was about to end. All of my dreams about Preppy ended abruptly so if it was a dream, time wasn’t on my side. “Knock knock,” I started.
“Who’s there?”
I hesitated and almost changing my mind about what I was going to say next, but I needed to rescue the words dangling from my lips before I woke up from this weird dream and it was too late.
“Who’s there, Doc?” Preppy asked in a whisper.
I took a deep breath. “Me.”