“Get ready to run,” he whispers.
The door creaks open and my head snaps up, but he’s already gone. I’m not sure I heard him right. Did he say run?
The door stands wide open and sunlight streams in. I can’t move a muscle. I’m scared out of my mind.
I hear gravel crunching under a heavy footfall. A dark figure appears in the doorway and I cower back.
“Please,” I whimper. Yes, I’m begging for my worthless life.
I don’t know how many times I’ve said that word in the last few hours. They’ve degraded me until all that’s left is a beggar, pleading for the crumbs of my life that’s scattered around me.
The man stalks toward me and I whimper, recoiling back like the coward I am. When he kneels down next to me, I anticipate a blow, but instead he shrugs out of his jacket. I press harder into the walls. I can’t take being raped again. They should rather just kill me.
Repulsion and hatred wells up inside me as flashes of the night tortures me. The true nightmare is the memories you have to face when you’re awake. Every time it feels like you’re able to take a breath, they just drag you down deeper, suffocating you more.
“Move forward,” the man snaps icily. He doesn’t wait for me to move. When he takes hold of my shoulders, his hands are firm. I recoil from his touch, but he pulls me up onto unsteady legs and forces my arms into the sleeves. I hear the zip go up and then I feel his fingers close around mine, taking hold of my hand in a really tight grip.
My first thought is to wonder what kind of rapist dresses his victim.
My second thought is that he’s not going to rape me, but kill me, and I’m not sure how I feel about dying.
There were times during the night that I wished they would just kill me. I’m not scared of dying, but rather where I’ll end up afterwards. I’m not sure where I’ll go and that makes fear bleed into my soul until I’m a shaking, sobbing mess.
“Stay behind me at all times. Do not scream. Do not get in front of me.” His voice is hard. It takes a split second for the meaning of his words to sink into my terrified mind. I’m not sure why he’s telling me this, and I don’t have time to ponder his words because he’s already moving and pulling at my arm.
I give my first unsteady step forward and then I have my third clear thought – could he actually be helping me? Dare I hope that he’s here to save me?
The second step hurts, and with every movement the stickiness and raw ache between my legs reminds me of the vile things they did to me.
When we reach the door, my breaths are desperate gasps as I try to swallow down the pain and harrowing memories.
“I’ll set the room on fire, Predator. You do your job,” the old man says to the man holding my hand.
What the hell kind of name is Predator?
He pulls me in behind him and my chest closes up when he lets go of my hand.
Shit, this is it!
Oh, my God. I’m not ready to die.
My heart pounds in my ears and I’m well aware of the fact that each of those heartbeats might be my last.
But then he reaches for me with his left hand and I grab for it desperately.
I don’t care what his name is as long as he’s here to help me.
‘Please let him be here to help.’
“I need my right hand free,” he whispers darkly. My eyes dart to his face and I’m filled with horror all over again. This man is easily the scariest thing I’ve ever laid eyes on.
Every line on his face is pronounced as he pulls a gun from behind his back. I didn’t even see it where it was tucked into the back of his pants. My throat and mouth dry right up and I can’t swallow the thick spit that’s coating the inside of my mouth. He nudges me a little, until I’m right behind him, and then I remember what he said - I have to stay behind him.
I cling to his hand and arm with both my hands. We walk towards a simple looking house. Heat flares up behind me and I glance over my shoulder. The old man has set a shipping container alight.
Then reality dawns on me. I was held in a shipping container. How easy it would’ve been to dispose of my body.
Fuckers!
“We’re going to walk in. We’re going to kill them and we’re going to leave. You do not touch anything. We don’t leave any traces that can lead back to us.” The man is so focused I can feel the intensity of the moment rippling off him in waves.
“We?” The word pops from my mouth.
“Glad to see you’re still thinking straight enough to hear what I’m saying,” he says gruffly. The corner of his mouth twitches. “No screaming and no fainting. Oh, and definitely no puking.”
I take a step back from him, humiliated that he can smell the nauseating smell of vomit on me.
He moves first and I only move so I can keep up with him. We don’t run. Everything inside of me is screaming at me to make a run for it, but I stay behind him like a pathetic puppet trailing after her master.