When I walk into the bathroom, I find Damian measuring the wall. “Hey.”
His head snaps to me then back to the wall. He makes a mark and then steps out of the bath. His eyes captures mine and it looks like he’s searching for something. “How do you feel?”
I shrug. I don’t really have an answer for that question. I feel … miserable. No, that’s not even the right word for what I’m feeling.
His fingers brush over my jaw and he nudges my face up so I’ll look at him again. “I’m here. Any time you want to talk, I’m here.”
I nod and then let my eyes go to the mark he made on the wall. “What are you doing?”
He looks at all the stuff lying in the bath. “I need a shower so I’m installing one. I’ll let you have the bathroom before I get to work.”
“Thanks,” I mumble. I watch him leave and then I close the door behind me. I stare at the closed door and like clockwork the familiar panic starts to tighten my chest. I place a hand over the spot where it feels as if an elephant has parked its huge ass, trying to crush my heart. I keep my eyes on the door as I quickly relieve myself. I rinse my hands and avoid looking in the mirror. I don’t want to see the empty shell staring back at me.
I go right back to bed and pull the cover over my head so it will block out the light.
I don’t fall asleep again, but just lie under the cover. Although I don’t move a muscle, it feels as if my mind is racing against some unknown darkness that’s threatening to destroy my last bit of sanity.
Damian~
When I’m done with the shower, I test it to make sure there are no leaks. I got a white curtain with grey shades. It looks like a huge picture of a grey thistle has been drawn on it. I hope Cara likes it.
I check the time and when I notice it’s almost afternoon, I decide to warm some of the chili. I got some fresh rolls too, and butter one. With the roll and a spoon in one hand, and the bowl of chili in the other, I go check on her. She needs to eat. Walking into the room, I find her totally under the cover.
“Cara,” I say, but she doesn’t move. “It’s time to eat. Get your ass up.”
She throws the cover back and then with a huff she sits up. “I’m not hungry,” she mutters.
I hold the spoon and roll out to her. “You can’t live off painkillers,” I growl as I start to lose my patience. I know she’s in a shitty place but I won’t stand by and watch how she starves herself. No fucking way.
I hand her the bowl of chili and then scowl at her. She takes a bite and chews slowly. I go to the window and open it so we can get some fresh air in the room.
“I made an appointment for you with the local doctor.”
Her head snaps up and she scowls at me. “Why?”
I frown and cross my arms over my chest. “To have the clips removed and the wound checked out.”
“Oh.” She takes a small bite of the bread and takes forever to chew it. I watch her take two more bites of chili before she puts the bowl on the side of the bed, and then she dumps the roll into the brew. “Thanks.”
She lies back down and pulls the blanket over her head again.
I grab the bowl and stalk to the kitchen, not knowing what the fuck I’m going to do with her. I stalk up and down and then it feels as if my blood explodes in my veins. I storm back to the room, yank the cover back and scoop her into my arms.
“Hey!” she shrieks, but then she clings to me. I stalk to the bathroom and put her down in the bath. I turn the faucets open and she shrieks again as the cold water hits her. She struggles to her feet and then glares at me. I can see she wants to get angry but there’s just not enough spark.
“Clean yourself,” I snap at her. “You fucking stink.”
I yank the shower curtain closed and then settle with my back against the opposite wall.
Her silhouette doesn’t move for a good few seconds and I worry that I won’t get through to her. I have to stop this slippery slope she’s on before she falls too far and there’s no getting her back.
I hear a sob and then she sinks down in the bath.
I close my eyes as her heartbreaking sobs rip my heart to shreds. I can’t stand it anymore and I pull the curtain open again. I kneel down next to the bath and then reach for the plug. I put it in and change the function from shower to bath. As the water starts to fill the tub I pull her up. She doesn’t stop me as I start to undress her. I first pull her shirt over her head and then help her step out of her slacks. I drop them right next to the bath.
I don’t put in a lot of water. I don’t want her wound to be under water for long. I take the bandage off, and then reach for the sponge. I soap it up and start to wash her arms.