Porn Star

As for Logan…

Though I’d never admit it to my mother, I sometimes like to fantasize that he’ll change his mind, that he’ll decide he prefers whole milk too. But it’s not really fair to try to put that dream on his reality. He might actually like skim milk. He might not even be able tell the difference. I can’t sit around wishing for him to “fall in line” and show up on my doorstep with a box full of chocolates and a bouquet of roses. That just might not be his future.

But my future is the stars. So it doesn’t mean that I don’t still hope.



* * *



After a morning of back-to-back classes, I have four syllabi to go over, five chapters of reading, an essay to write, and a page of math problems.

It’s overwhelming and awesome.

I haven’t been this happy since…well, since Logan.

School, I decide, is the best cure for a broken heart. That and a busy schedule. Even though I’m eager to dive into my homework, I’m also thankful I have my work-study job in the bursar’s office to keep me truly occupied. I’m only scheduled for three hours on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, but with my full course heavy with math and science classes, I’m sure it will be all I can handle.

The job is easy, thankfully, and even though it’s my first day at the counter, it only takes half my shift before my supervisor says, “You’ve really got the hang of this, Devi. Think you can handle some students on your own while I start working on the deposit for my drawer?”

“Yep. I’m good.” Like I said, the job is pie, and Jake’s a great trainer.

He’s also amazing to look at—tall, dark, handsome, built, and totally gay. He’s witty and smart and likes to tease, and since there’s no sexual tension, it’s easy to tease back. We’ve only known each other two days, and he’s already a friend.

“Coolio. I’ll be in the back. Holler if you need anything, I’ll be here in a flash.”

I don’t need anything, but I turn my back to the counter and call after him. “Hey, Jake!” When he rushes back, I say, “Just testing.”

He laughs. “You’re such a bad girl.” If he only knew. His expression sombers quickly. “Oh, sorry. Didn’t see you come in,” he says to someone behind me. “Devi will get you taken care of.”

Jake walks off, and I put on a friendly grin and pivot to face the person in front of me. “How can I—” I start, and then my voice cuts off in a sharp intake of breath.

Because the guy in front of me is Logan.

My body reacts instantly, buzzing and itching as if on cue. As if we’re in production for Campus Porn and our script has us meeting and banging within two minutes. I’m ready to start shedding my clothing and I’m not above climbing over the counter.

But we aren’t on set for anything. This is real life, and while I’m thrilled at the sight of him, I’m on pins and needles too.

He locks eyes with mine, a host of familiar emotions present in his intense gaze. “Am I too late?” he asks.

“What?” I ask, even though I heard him. I might even know what he’s asking, but I’m still so stunned to see him that I’ve forgotten how to use words.

“Am I too late?” He glances toward the back office where Jake disappeared just a moment ago.

Damn, he really is asking what I think he’s asking!

And he’s really here. In front of me.

My stomach flutters with nervous exhilaration, and I have to swallow before I can respond. “You mean, are you too late for me? That in the short time I’ve been in Austin I may have fallen madly in love with my supervisor? Because, number one, he’s gay.”

“He’s gay?” Logan tries to play surprised but mostly he sounds relieved.

“Mm hmm.” I lean against the counter to be nearer to him but also because I’m shaking like a leaf.

“Huh.” He leans forward too, his elbows on the counter, and he’s so close I can smell the familiar clean scent of his skin. “What’s number two?”

Number two, I’m still madly in love with you.

I almost say it. We’re flirting, and it’s easy and natural and like we’ve never been apart. But I’m trying to be cautious because what is he doing here?

“Number two, I don’t just give my heart to everyone I work with.” Speaking of my heart, it’s pounding so hard I’m sure he can hear it.

His eyes are back on mine, his gaze deep and penetrating. “I know that about you. It’s one of my favorite traits of yours.”

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