During my teen years, romantic fiction had become my favorite genre, mostly because it was so much better than my own reality. The library’s shelves brimmed with romance-filled tales of brave heroes slaying fire-breathing dragons and sweeping fair maidens off their feet. But I didn’t need a dashing hero on a white horse to save me from anything. I could ride my own damn horse, thank you very much.
I’d given up on finding love. Not that I’d ever done much in the way of searching for it. With love, came loss. And I wasn’t willing to lose—or readily give—another piece of myself to anyone. I’d seen for myself what kind of damage a man could do to a woman’s mind, body, and soul. Much less a girl’s heart.
A half hour went by before an elderly lady from the Genealogy Society approached my desk to schedule their monthly meetings for the Rotary Room. I smiled at her, then spotted Cowboy leering at me from ten feet away. Somehow, I had unknowingly blipped back onto his radar. My stomach twisted with nervousness as my trembling fingers wrote down the meeting dates the woman gave me.
After she walked away, I busied myself by filing forms into the bottom cabinet. Okay, so maybe I was ducking to keep him from looking at me. Whatever.
A few wispy strands of my hair slipped free from the clip on the back of my head and hung down in my face while I worked. As I pushed one back, I remembered the way Cowboy’s fingers had grazed my cheek the night before and shivered. His slight touch had left me with a pleasant feeling, but it wasn’t something I could allow myself to indulge in. Part of why I was steering clear of him and coming off downright antisocial like an ungrateful shrew. It was easier that way.
As heavy footsteps approached, I straightened in my chair, bumping my head on the desk. I winced and gave it a quick rub, glancing over to see if anyone else—basically Cowboy—had noticed. He tipped back in his chair, an amused grin playing on his perfectly stupid lips. The prick.
Ignoring his smug look, I smiled sweetly to the gentleman standing at my desk and offered my assistance. He was one of our regular card-holders and I’d seen him almost daily since I’d started there. Once I finished helping him check out a crime novel he’d reserved, the kind old man gave me a quick pat on my hand to thank me and moved along.
I glanced back to Cowboy and caught an odd look on his confused face. It was a what-the-hell expression, if I’d ever seen one. Setting his teeth, he rose from his seat, picked up his book, and headed in my direction.
My gaze immediately darted back to my computer screen.
“Mind if I pester you for a minute?” he asked.
“Did you have a question…about the book?” I kept my eyes forward and my tone polite and professional.
“I have a lot of questions, actually, but none are book-related.”
“Then I’m busy,” I replied, not showing even marginal interest in him.
“Anna…?” When I didn’t answer him, he reached across the desk and brushed my arm, sending my nervous system into overdrive. I jolted out of my chair, which made his mouth contort into a perplexed frown. “Did I do something wrong?”
“No, I just…don’t want you to touch me.” Jeez. When did I become such a liar? “Now if you’ll excuse me…” I walked away from the counter and headed down one of the aisles before he had a chance to follow me. I weaved through the maze of bookshelves until I came to a dead end in the back corner of the library.
Breathing heavily, I hid behind a bookcase, monitoring him discreetly through the shelves as he combed the aisles searching for me. I knew it was silly to hide. Like a child, really. But I needed a moment to calm my nerves and build some much needed courage, which only made me feel more foolish.
It was the same reaction I’d had at eighteen when I’d spent two weeks working as an activities coordinator at a nearby summer camp. Bobbie Jo had been a counselor, as well as one of my bunkmates, and the two of us had hit it off.