You can do this, Anna. Just breathe.
“D-Dan, over here,” I shouted, gasping for a breath as I ran to the broken ladder leading to the hayloft. “Follow the sound of my voice.” As he moved toward me, I encouraged his progress. “That’s it, straight ahead.” When he reached me, I took his hand and put it high up on the ladder. “Start climbing. When you get to the top, go to the right about ten feet. There’s a large opening to the outside, though, so be careful. We’ll have to jump. It’s the only way out.”
He frowned. “You should go first. You’re the woman.”
But I wouldn’t be able to pull myself up easily with my hands tied together. “And you’re blind,” I said, desperately trying to loosen the knots again with my teeth as the flames worsened and blazed closer. The stifling heat etched its way under my skin.
“You sure love to point that out, don’t ya? You know that makes you sound like a fucking asshole every time—”
“Dan, just go! I’m right behind you.”
As he started to climb, I continued trying to free myself though I was coughing nonstop. The rope was too tight and I couldn’t get a good grip, much less see what I was doing. It was taking entirely too long. If I didn’t do something fast, I wasn’t going to make it out.
Frustrated, I looked for something to cut them off, but the barn had obviously not been used for some time and there were no tools lying around. Just as I was about to give up hope, I spotted a rusty panel of roofing tin leaning against the far wall.
I covered my mouth with the inside of my elbow and stayed low as I made my way through the hazy gray smog in the room. Lining my wrists up on either side of the tin, I moved them back and forth in a sawing motion, allowing the rope to rub against the jagged tin as I held my breath.
Smoke burned my tear-filled eyes and heat from the hot tin seared into my skin. One faulty move had the rust slicing into my arm, and I let out a sharp yelp. Blood trickled down my wrist as I continued to use the jagged edge as a knife to cut through the binding.
The moment the rope gave, I stumbled back through the thick fog, groping for the rotting ladder that would lead me to safety. Once my hands found it, I climbed, hoping the shaky ladder wouldn’t suddenly break and my slippery blood-soaked hands would hold me and keep me from falling back down into the fiery abyss.
A cry tore from my throat as pieces of the burning barn fell down around me. With every sure-footed step and every capable handhold I pulled myself up with, my chest burned more and more. I breathed deeper as I climbed, only ingesting more of the toxic air.
At the top, I crawled over the ledge and landed on my back, gasping for air. I wheezed, my achy lungs threatening to collapse with each breath. I grabbed the railing and pulled myself to my feet, turning toward the large window in the wall of the hayloft. Orange tendrils surrounded the opening.
I wasn’t sure how far of a jump it was and had no clue how Dan managed it on his own, but he hollered from outside. He’d made it. Yet I stood transfixed by the fire, trapped on the upper floor of the barn, mentally preparing myself to jump through a burning ring of flames like a circus tiger.
I’d always had this chronic fear of being burned alive. Now, with the fire crackling around me, it was my worst nightmare come true. A self-fulfilled prophecy. But if I had any chance of getting out, I’d have to do it. Only one thought kept me from moving my feet.
Had my mother felt the same panic and desperation when she died?
Residual memories of my mother’s smile and laughter washed over me. So vivacious and beautiful. Yet, my father snuffed out her light and crushed my soul. Cut all of our lives short by his callousness. His ruthlessness. His need to burn everything around him to the ground. Even the intense heat searing into my skin couldn’t thaw that frozen image in my mind.