I’d actually picked one of them, not knowing what was going to happen, if Viktor would kill the man whose name I spoke, or if he’d kill the one that I didn’t. How could I have done that? What kind of person did that make me? Not only had I technically cheated on Ryker, I’d chosen Parker in a life-or-death situation.
Self-loathing and regret filled me. Yet again, I’d sacrificed my dignity because of my complete infatuation with Parker—a man who’d tossed me aside after only one night with me. I loved him—couldn’t seem to stop loving him—but that love was unrequited. He’d said he wanted me, yes, that things would change between us. But they hadn’t, and his silence on love was deafening.
Ryker deserved better, and would no doubt be quick to end things once daylight came. And as for Parker, it was about time I gave up the obsession. It had been nothing more than a one-night stand, though I’d thought I was giving him my heart along with my body. It looked like Ryker meant more to him than I did, which I shouldn’t resent, but I did.
Maybe they’d be friends again. Maybe they’d both blame me for putting them in this untenable situation and find a common ground because of it. It would suck for me, but I’d be glad for them.
The sun slowly rose and I memorized this moment, being with the two men I loved, each in a different way. I loved Ryker as much as I could with a heart that had been taken by another man. If I ever wanted it free to give to someone else, I needed to cut ties with Parker.
But for now, while he was asleep, I could savor being with him one last time.
The room brightened bit by bit, and despite my best intentions to stay awake, I drifted off.
*
They were gone when I woke again, and the crushing disappointment overwhelmed me for a moment. I squeezed my eyes shut against the sting and took a deep breath.
“Are you feeling better?”
A nurse had entered—that’s what had woken me—and I snapped my eyes back open.
“Um, yeah,” I said. “Can I go now?” I was already climbing out of the bed, holding the hospital gown closed with my good hand and searching for my clothes. I’d abruptly decided I wanted to be home alone to lick my wounds in peace.
“Your bloodwork came back clean and we’ve given you a prescription for the ointment you’ll need for your hand,” she said, handing me a sheaf of papers. “You’ll have a scar, that’s for certain, but otherwise you’re fine and free to go.”
I hesitated. “The, uh, the men who were here with me. Are they … all right?” I’d almost asked if she knew where they were but decided at the last second that I didn’t want to know. I didn’t want to be tempted to go find them.
She nodded. “We treated the burn on the one man. The other had cracked ribs and a dislocated shoulder. Both had various minor cuts and contusions, but overall they were in good shape. They were discharged as well.”
I swallowed hard and forced a smile, even as I realized Parker and Ryker had left me. Maybe they’d grown tired of my neediness last night. “Thanks. I’ll be out of your hair shortly.”
“Is there someone I can call to come pick you up?” she asked.
I shook my head. “I’ll be fine.”
“Would you like me to get a wheelchair and wheel you to the entrance?”
So no. “Um, thanks, but no,” I said politely.
The nurse nodded and left. There was soap, toothbrush, and toothpaste in the bathroom and I cleaned up the best I could, finger-combing my hair. I found my clothes and was in the process of trying to fasten my jeans one-handed when the door opened and Ryker walked in.
We stared at each other for a moment, then he realized my predicament and walked toward me.
“Need some help?” he asked. He didn’t wait for a response, reaching forward and fastening the button.
“Thanks,” I said. “I-I thought you’d left. The nurse said you’d been discharged.”
He shook his head. “I got cleaned up, took a shower. That’s all.” He paused. “I wasn’t going to leave you alone.”
“Can you tell me what happened?” I asked. “How did you and Parker get caught? How’d you escape?”
“What do you remember?” he asked.
I shrugged. “It’s hazy and confused. Some of it feels like a dream, or a nightmare. I remember him hurting you, hurting Parker, then they had me pinned down in that hallway and were going to …” I cleared the sudden lump from my throat.
“Leading Viktor to us was the plan,” he said. “We didn’t realize until too late that he’d set a trap.”
“What kind of trap?”
“You,” he said simply. Reaching in his pocket, he took out a cell phone and pressed a few buttons. I heard my voice, tinny through the speaker.
“It’s too late. I don’t know what to do. It-it hurts … so much.”
I felt the blood leave my face. Those were words I’d said to Megan on the phone yesterday morning.
“Viktor said he had you,” Ryker continued, pocketing the phone. “And that was his proof. We had no choice but to go in.”